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Old 12-22-2011, 09:52 AM
 
24,163 posts, read 24,592,523 times
Reputation: 31873
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmjones311 View Post
Of course we've met! lol It started online, but it didn't stay that way.

In the last email he just said, "I was just thinking about you and hope you're doing ok."

I'm terrified of calling, given that I don't know if he wants to hear from me.

I just ended a relationship I started not long after the last email, and I've just been thinking about him since then and realized that I wasn't over it/him. I'm not quite sure yet whether I just need closure, or want him back in my life. I guess I'd figure that out as time went on.
Life is made for those who are brave while it punishes those who are timid.

Either have guts or hang it up. And if he spurns you, what have you lost? Your relationship was already dead.
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:54 AM
 
Location: ON, Canada
4,352 posts, read 1,957,902 times
Reputation: 7304
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmjones311 View Post
Of course we've met! lol It started online, but it didn't stay that way. I put relationship in quotes because I don't really feel that it got off the ground to be what I would consider a real relationship.

In the last email he just said, "I was just thinking about you and hope you're doing ok."

I'm terrified of calling, given that I don't know if he wants to hear from me.

I just ended a relationship I started not long after the last email, and I've just been thinking about him since then and realized that I wasn't over it/him. I'm not quite sure yet whether I just need closure, or want him back in my life. I guess I'd figure that out as time went on.
That's why I asked what was going on with you now that's changed your perspective. Your relationship ended 7 months ago, and by your own admission, not on good terms. You were still angry about it 5 months ago. But you've moved on.

My guess is that you're feeling nostalgic, it's Christmas and you're not with someone, so you're looking backward instead of forward. Please just let this go and keep moving forward.
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Old 12-22-2011, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 8,642,946 times
Reputation: 8464
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
That's why I asked what was going on with you now that's changed your perspective. Your relationship ended 7 months ago, and by your own admission, not on good terms. You were still angry about it 5 months ago. But you've moved on.

My guess is that you're feeling nostalgic, it's Christmas and you're not with someone, so you're looking backward instead of forward. Please just let this go and keep moving forward.
I agree with the person who posted 'what has changed?' If you were so sure that you wanted it ended before, why the change of opinion now.

I would think that nothing is changed except that perhaps - perhaps there is some ego or manipulation issue here. Never break up with someone unless you mean it and if you mean it and have thought it out well NEVER go back unless there has been a change. Otherwise, you are just yanking his chain, something he would not find particularly endearing.

Words have meaning. Goodbye means goodbye. Learn and move on.
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Old 12-22-2011, 05:55 PM
 
Location: New York
60 posts, read 59,424 times
Reputation: 64
I think you are giving yourself an opportunity for headache and heartache. Move on and start fresh.
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Old 12-24-2011, 08:05 AM
 
330 posts, read 304,883 times
Reputation: 416
Well, I emailed the familiar account. I just couldn't stop thinking about it.

He replied in seven minutes.

He said he couldn't believe his eyes when he saw my name on the screen. He said that he's thought about me every day, and missed me, but when I ignored his email in July, he got the message loud and clear that I didn't want to hear from him.

He's dated around, but nothing has lasted more than 3 weeks. He said that nothing had the spark that we did.

We emailed a bunch on Thursday, texted a bunch yesterday, and finally talked on the phone last night. I don't know what's going to happen, so I'm trying to protect my heart the best I can.

For the record, I'm not the one that broke up with him. It ended badly because of the issue of me moving there. We were both being stupid. I never wanted to break up with him. It just went too fast, and crashed under it's own pressure.

He asked me if he could come visit me, and I told him I'm not sure. I have to think about it, and figure out what I want from him at this point in time. I never stopped having feelings for him, I just have to figure out what I want from those feelings.

Thanks for all of your advice!
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Old 12-24-2011, 10:01 PM
 
Location: USA
1,336 posts, read 873,837 times
Reputation: 2147
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmjones311 View Post
Well, I emailed the familiar account. I just couldn't stop thinking about it.

He replied in seven minutes.

He said he couldn't believe his eyes when he saw my name on the screen. He said that he's thought about me every day, and missed me, but when I ignored his email in July, he got the message loud and clear that I didn't want to hear from him.

He's dated around, but nothing has lasted more than 3 weeks. He said that nothing had the spark that we did.

We emailed a bunch on Thursday, texted a bunch yesterday, and finally talked on the phone last night. I don't know what's going to happen, so I'm trying to protect my heart the best I can.

For the record, I'm not the one that broke up with him. It ended badly because of the issue of me moving there. We were both being stupid. I never wanted to break up with him. It just went too fast, and crashed under it's own pressure.

He asked me if he could come visit me, and I told him I'm not sure. I have to think about it, and figure out what I want from him at this point in time. I never stopped having feelings for him, I just have to figure out what I want from those feelings.

Thanks for all of your advice!
Yay! A happy ending. Thanks for letting us know. Good luck!!
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Old 12-25-2011, 10:00 AM
 
330 posts, read 304,883 times
Reputation: 416
Well, I hope it's a happy ending! We've talked quite a bit, and while we know that the issues of being long distance are still there just like they were before, that we're going to give it one more chance.

I actually met him online because I was researching the place I wanted to move to in the next few years. I wanted to move there before him, and still wanted to move there after him, so I've still been researching and planning. I had decided before I emailed him that I was really hoping to be there next fall, so if we can make it work, I'm hoping that there'll only be about 9 months before we're together for good.
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Old 12-25-2011, 11:55 AM
 
4,801 posts, read 2,758,572 times
Reputation: 3924
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmjones311 View Post
Well, I hope it's a happy ending! We've talked quite a bit, and while we know that the issues of being long distance are still there just like they were before, that we're going to give it one more chance.

I actually met him online because I was researching the place I wanted to move to in the next few years. I wanted to move there before him, and still wanted to move there after him, so I've still been researching and planning. I had decided before I emailed him that I was really hoping to be there next fall, so if we can make it work, I'm hoping that there'll only be about 9 months before we're together for good.
Congrats!! I am very happy for you...hope that everything works out beautifully for you and him, together! What a lovely Christmas gift you and he have together this year...lol, guess maybe you guys were each other's Christmas present??
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Old 12-26-2011, 04:38 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,411 posts, read 8,642,946 times
Reputation: 8464
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmjones311 View Post
Well, I emailed the familiar account. I just couldn't stop thinking about it.


For the record, I'm not the one that broke up with him. It ended badly because of the issue of me moving there. We were both being stupid. I never wanted to break up with him. It just went too fast, and crashed under it's own pressure.

He asked me if he could come visit me, and I told him I'm not sure. I have to think about it, and figure out what I want from him at this point in time. I never stopped having feelings for him, I just have to figure out what I want from those feelings.

Thanks for all of your advice!
Sorry for my misunderstanding.
I hope you find a happy resolution to this relationship. It appears that you've done the right thing, after all.
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Old 12-26-2011, 06:13 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,318 posts, read 13,630,432 times
Reputation: 21558
Good luck!!!!
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