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Er, this appears to be little more than a blog. It mentioned a single study more than 30 years old (and didn't even provide citation). It also brushed aside the mention that couples who view pornography together can actually grow closer and more open in their intimacy with each other.
So again, WHAT are the risks of responsible pornographic consumption? I will concede that like anything, too much can be a bad thing, but how is the occasional viewing of film or picture or literature of detriment to a relationship?
I don't really care whether or not you agree with me. It's obvious you don't.
But I would encourage you to be a bit more open-minded about this. Be a bit less immediately defensive about something that doesn't read as you think it should.
I'd encourage you to Google "what does pornography do to marriages." That is a non-leading statement. Start from the top, and simply read the articles. Some will be pretty absurd, and some will be very good. But they seem to lean pretty heavily in the direction of pornography being destructive to marriage.
I don't really care whether or not you agree with me. It's obvious you don't.
But I would encourage you to be a bit more open-minded about this. Be a bit less immediately defensive about something that doesn't read as you think it should.
I'd encourage you to Google "what does pornography do to marriages." That is a non-leading statement. Start from the top, and simply read the articles. Some will be pretty absurd, and some will be very good. But they seem to lean pretty heavily in the direction of pornography being destructive to marriage.
Open-minded about what? I feel I am the more open-minded of the two of us, as you seem to believe that porn is always a detriment in every relationship and that it cannot possibly be of a benefit to a couple. I understand that porn isn't everyone's cup of tea and am not so self-righteous as to assume that my approach to intimacy is the only proper approach.
Open-minded about what? I feel I am the more open-minded of the two of us, as you seem to believe that porn is always a detriment in every relationship and that it cannot possibly be of a benefit to a couple. I understand that porn isn't everyone's cup of tea and am not so self-righteous as to assume that my approach to intimacy is the only proper approach.
It's interesting what happens when somebody who claims to be open-minded has it pointed out that he/she really isn't.
It's interesting what happens when somebody who claims to be open-minded has it pointed out that he/she really isn't.
I read your article, I pointed out the flaws, and you accused me of being close-minded. And yet, you refuse to accept that pornography is not across the board harmful and that it may even be, shockingly, helpful to a relationship. You scoff at people who have been together for years and continue to happily consume porn.
You can condescend all you like, it doesn't make you superior.
I read your article, I pointed out the flaws, and you accused me of being close-minded. And yet, you refuse to accept that pornography is not across the board harmful and that it may even be, shockingly, helpful to a relationship. You scoff at people who have been together for years and continue to happily consume porn.
You can condescend all you like, it doesn't make you superior.
I'm not condescending. I'm pointing out the obvious.
My point was that, no, one cannot "make the same argument for physically CHEATING on a spouse."
That it's only physical, not emotional? Of course they can.
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnexpectedError
And what the heck are you talking about? Arranging a midnight rendezvous with another woman is not pornography. So please, stick to the topic at hand.
The point was, that you do not have to physically have sex with another person to be cheating on your spouse. If it's in your mind, that's enough. Whether the man in my example ever really did anything PHYSICAL with this other woman, he cheated (or at least his wife would concur, because it's not just a physical thing).
Now, are you going to overlook the risks of pornography on this board just as you might be doing in your own personal life? Or do you want to discuss any of them?
Just to clarify, I'm not saying watching pornography IS cheating, especially if the woman approves. But it's not far off.
The point was, that you do not have to physically have sex with another person to be cheating on your spouse. If it's in your mind, that's enough. Whether the man in my example ever really did anything PHYSICAL with this other woman, he cheated (or at least his wife would concur, because it's not just a physical thing).
So, do you go into your partner's brain when he or she is masturbating?
Before I read a word, let me just say I'm wary of any publication that uses impact as a verb when most scholars will argue to the death that it is only properly used as a noun (or, in specific circumstances, an adjective).
That website is a Christian website with a Christian agenda.
[URL="http://www.simplemarriage.net/about"]Simple Marriage | About[/URL]
The article the other person linked to does not provide any links to the research, only a footnote of a literature review, a citation for which cannot be found in a reputable academic registry like PubMed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnBanson
What you and your "SO" do or don't do is your business, but I'll bet you $1,000 that your relationship will not last. It's just the nature of the beast.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnBanson
Sorry folks, but 7 or 8 years is not really a test of the longevity of a relationship. Talk to me when you're at 25+ years.
The bottom line is that watching porn, and especially masturbating to it, is at least on some level marital unfaithfulness. It does not draw two people together as a couple. It temporarily heightens the sexual experience. But why do you need to artificially heighten sex?
High quality, long-lasting marriages include good sex, but they're in no way based on it. Those who base their marriage on sex instead of a good relationship are heading for disaster.
I'm not trying to tell any of you what to do. But I am willing to tell you what is almost certain to happen in the long run.
Mod cut: Personal attack.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-27-2011 at 01:05 PM..
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Crystal balls.
