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Unread 12-23-2011, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Hilo, HI
217 posts, read 191,661 times
Reputation: 190
Default Would you stay with your wife if they had cancer?

A friend shared with me not to long ago this article. While I am sad that I have become such a cynic on dating, I lost any desire to get married. Sure high divorce statistics didn't help, but the fact that a significant amount of men cannot deal with a woman battling cancer disgusts me on marriage altogether. At this point in my life, I will buy my own house, take solo vacations, and continue to live a meaningful life relying and enjoying the company of myself. I don't mean to sound like a man hater because my dad is the nicest, kindest, best man I have ever known, but I gave up all together on having a goal to end up with a guy that is right for me.


Divorce Risk Higher When Wife Gets Sick - NYTimes.com

 
Unread 12-23-2011, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Ohio
3,440 posts, read 1,906,686 times
Reputation: 2557
I guess they missed the "In sickness" part of their vows.
 
Unread 12-23-2011, 02:59 PM
 
16,935 posts, read 14,877,459 times
Reputation: 16149
"If couples are happy before the diagnosis, it appears that men are more likely to abandon wives who become seriously ill."

“All these patients were couples when we met them, but we don’t know about pre-diagnosis marital conflicts that had been festering,” Dr. Chamberlain said. “But the striking part is with life-threatening illness, how often women are abandoned compared to men. That does not speak very well of my gender.”

Hmmm...pretty sad state of affairs, there.
 
Unread 12-23-2011, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Peoples Republic of Cali
9,194 posts, read 4,197,247 times
Reputation: 4975
I've been married for 30 years to my high school sweetheart, of course I'd stick around if she was sick, that insulting to think otherwise.....
 
Unread 12-23-2011, 03:01 PM
 
8,681 posts, read 6,527,254 times
Reputation: 14840
A rat is a rat.

That said, I wouldn't deprive myself of a relationship because of that article or those statistics. My SO has stuck by me through some major health issues, and we're not married. There are still plenty of good men out there.
 
Unread 12-23-2011, 03:08 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL (Northside)
2,908 posts, read 3,224,158 times
Reputation: 2683
I'd never abandon my wife/lady if she had health issues. I'd be by her side through it all. Then again, there aren't many good, high-caliber men like myself
 
Unread 12-23-2011, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,026 posts, read 12,625,984 times
Reputation: 11309
Another of those anti-male threads, I see.

It depends on the man. How about this - guy loses his job, loses a limb, is deployed to Iraq - a scent of a lesser stag is immediately smelled by female nostrils

Pretty much flies both ways. Depends on the individual.
 
Unread 12-23-2011, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Hilo, HI
217 posts, read 191,661 times
Reputation: 190
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Another of those anti-male threads, I see.

It depends on the man. How about this - guy loses his job, loses a limb, is deployed to Iraq - a scent of a lesser stag is immediately smelled by female nostrils

Pretty much flies both ways. Depends on the individual.
Did you read the article? It discusses that women are strong enough to be there for men through cancer. If you find an article on men that lost a leg and the stats on that sure I would love to read it.

BTW, I'm not anti male. I'm anti MOST males
 
Unread 12-23-2011, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,353 posts, read 3,094,930 times
Reputation: 6721
As Yzette says, a rat is a rat. And don't forget that some women leave husbands, too, when they get sick - or even when they lose their job. I think that usually there is already something lacking or wrong in the relationship when this happens, most of the time - it's just the last straw that pushes someone over the edge.

My wife has cancer. She had surgery a week ago today. I'm staying - and it was never in question.
 
Unread 12-23-2011, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Sherwood
4,823 posts, read 6,165,477 times
Reputation: 4175
I found the following quote from the comments funny:
I wonder who initiates the divorce? A few years ago I had a cancer scare and considered divorcing my husband because I couldn’t bear the thought of spending my last days with him...
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