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Yes I said it , especially on Christmas it has been the worst. I posted on this once before but today it just seemed to only get even more horrible and horrific.
My husband and I do just fine he defends me greatly and I know he loves me but I am having a lot of insecurities and troubles with his sisters and mother
So i have been married to my husband for 4 years now going on 5 soon.. My husband is a little older than me he of course had a previous marriage.. and was only married to her for 1 year
Everything started when my sister in law posted a picture to a social network sight with my husband and his ex wife with my niece when she was born.. 1 month later my husband was seperated and working on the divorce.. I have been in my niece's life since about 8 months after that I have been there for my nephew also..
In the photo.. she decided to put under the picture.. Uncle Austin and Aunt Leigh this is 4 years into our marriage!!!
so today i got to looking and his ex girlfriend decides to come around and post on his 2 sisters and his mothers account saying I love you i miss you cant wait to see you happy new years..
and SHE ALSO ASSOCIATES WITH HIS EX WIFE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???
I WAS SO FURIOUS THAT I MESSAGED THE EX GIRLFRIEND AND SAID SERIOUSLY YOUVE BEEN OUT OF THE FAMILY FOR what 10 years now he was in high school with you what is this all about???
She sends me the conversations between his sisters and his ex wife and not only gets herself caught but proves to me just how the rest of them think of me and my husband..
HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONES FAMILY WHEN YOU BASH THEM ??? this is truly destroying me i don't know where to turn or who to talk to my husband and I are having major problems not with each other but stress from the family goings on.. but i am afraid its going to cause us problems
Let this be their problem, not yours. You really have to let it roll of your back, and THEY are the ones who need to come to terms and figure out a solution. Meanwhile, you keep going on about your business with your husband and cherish one another's presence. Let them worry about how to make things right.
Yes I said it , especially on Christmas it has been the worst. I posted on this once before but today it just seemed to only get even more horrible and horrific.
My husband and I do just fine he defends me greatly and I know he loves me but I am having a lot of insecurities and troubles with his sisters and mother
So i have been married to my husband for 4 years now going on 5 soon.. My husband is a little older than me he of course had a previous marriage.. and was only married to her for 1 year
Everything started when my sister in law posted a picture to a social network sight with my husband and his ex wife with my niece when she was born.. 1 month later my husband was seperated and working on the divorce.. I have been in my niece's life since about 8 months after that I have been there for my nephew also..
In the photo.. she decided to put under the picture.. Uncle Austin and Aunt Leigh this is 4 years into our marriage!!!
so today i got to looking and his ex girlfriend decides to come around and post on his 2 sisters and his mothers account saying I love you i miss you cant wait to see you happy new years..
and SHE ALSO ASSOCIATES WITH HIS EX WIFE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???
I WAS SO FURIOUS THAT I MESSAGED THE EX GIRLFRIEND AND SAID SERIOUSLY YOUVE BEEN OUT OF THE FAMILY FOR what 10 years now he was in high school with you what is this all about???
She sends me the conversations between his sisters and his ex wife and not only gets herself caught but proves to me just how the rest of them think of me and my husband..
HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONES FAMILY WHEN YOU BASH THEM ??? this is truly destroying me i don't know where to turn or who to talk to my husband and I are having major problems not with each other but stress from the family goings on.. but i am afraid its going to cause us problems
WHAT DO I DO???
Honestly? This seems to be your issue...
Okay your sis in law and in laws seem to be petty and so does the ex girlfriend..
Let me tell you a little about me..
I always attempt to maintain a relationship between my ex's. it does NOT mean I want them back..I just view life as too short to hold a grudge and someone I truly bonded with as a friend I try to remain friends with..this does not mean casual lunches or anything..this just means I bear them no ill will...and if I bonded with his fam and not with him? I get sad...because the family has no fault..truth be told I get along very well with my ex long term bf before I married my husband now ex..I joke many times how I wish I could have my ex bf's fam as my in laws, I have stated this in previous posts..
his mom and dad as well as sisters loved me..he moved on and I did as well.. but his mother never connected with his wife ever...because she was very abrasive..and controlling and I was the godmother of one of his nieces..
His mother passed away this year and I sent him a message on fb stating that she was very proud of him and how I was sorry for his loss because she was an extraordinary woman..
this does not mean I want my ex back...
I could care less about him, it was his family I missed..hopes this make sense..
For reasons unknown family will bond with others and this has nothing to do with you...even though they bash you, you are still family and granted the convo they had with her that she was tacky enough to send was not meant for you to see...because of the feelings theyhave for her..of course they are going to say she was the one for him//this has nothing to do with the way your husband feels for you..and whatever he tells them is not going to make a difference..My ex b/fs mom stated he messed up and he should have married me...but this was not going to happen..
instead of being upset which you do have every right to be go with it...and show them that your husband chose right
Let this be their problem, not yours. You really have to let it roll of your back, and THEY are the ones who need to come to terms and figure out a solution. Meanwhile, you keep going on about your business with your husband and cherish one another's presence. Let them worry about how to make things right.
Couldnt agree more!
I also think you contacting the said party was childish. Never let these sort of external negative force disrupt your spirit.
Yes I said it , especially on Christmas it has been the worst. I posted on this once before but today it just seemed to only get even more horrible and horrific.
My husband and I do just fine he defends me greatly and I know he loves me but I am having a lot of insecurities and troubles with his sisters and mother
So i have been married to my husband for 4 years now going on 5 soon.. My husband is a little older than me he of course had a previous marriage.. and was only married to her for 1 year
Everything started when my sister in law posted a picture to a social network sight with my husband and his ex wife with my niece when she was born.. 1 month later my husband was seperated and working on the divorce.. I have been in my niece's life since about 8 months after that I have been there for my nephew also..
In the photo.. she decided to put under the picture.. Uncle Austin and Aunt Leigh this is 4 years into our marriage!!!
so today i got to looking and his ex girlfriend decides to come around and post on his 2 sisters and his mothers account saying I love you i miss you cant wait to see you happy new years..
and SHE ALSO ASSOCIATES WITH HIS EX WIFE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???
I WAS SO FURIOUS THAT I MESSAGED THE EX GIRLFRIEND AND SAID SERIOUSLY YOUVE BEEN OUT OF THE FAMILY FOR what 10 years now he was in high school with you what is this all about???
She sends me the conversations between his sisters and his ex wife and not only gets herself caught but proves to me just how the rest of them think of me and my husband..
HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONES FAMILY WHEN YOU BASH THEM ??? this is truly destroying me i don't know where to turn or who to talk to my husband and I are having major problems not with each other but stress from the family goings on.. but i am afraid its going to cause us problems
WHAT DO I DO???
Ouch. I'm sorry.
I know a family like that.
The guy divorces wife and gets remarried. The man still associates with ex wife's family, watches ex wife's nieces children while the new wife just goes with the flow.
I sometimes feel for her since she is added to the family so to speak and has all this interaction with ex's family as such.
Social networking is trouble as far as I am concerned.
You need to learn to ignore stuff. Trust me - it gets easier to ignore as the years go by, lol.
You need to realize a simple reality of life - some folks love creating drama. Your goal should be to never get involved in the drama.
Easier said than done, of course. But you will become a much more serene person when you come to the point where you accept that you have no control over the ridiculous situations others create.
People will try to "bait" you . . . but they don't succeed if you don't respond.
You cannot force others to accept you or behave as you wish they would. All you can do is set the tone in the way you respond. IGNORE and you have retained your power. Get engaged in the BS and you have given your power away.
Nothing galls trouble-makers more than knowing the target of their drama doesn't give a rat's arse about the contention.
PS> Most folks don't love their husband's family members - at least - not ALL of them. It is unrealistic to expect you would love them and that they would love you. All you owe them is to be polite. If they are not being polite to you - that shouldn't change how you interact with them (as far as using good manners). In any case, do NOT let these things become an issue with your spouse. As long as the two of you are happy, that is all that counts. If you let the drama others create upset you and you start pressing your husband to "fix it" (when no one can fix what others do in their personal lives - such as who they choose to socialize with!) . . . you are gonna create contention with your husband.
Ignore it. I used to be bothered by my in-laws and barely give them a thought anymore. My SIL used to cause a real crapload of problems. She might still but I don't pay attention. Life's too short.
everyone for the advice and support, My husband is still being very supportive of me and that makes me feel much more secure in knowing that.. he also had a conversation with his mom and dad about the situation and his dad took care of it from there.. I know that not every family is going to get along it just would have been nice if me and his family could have loved one another and been there as a family but it just didn't workout that way but at the end of the day i know who i am and i know i am not perfect but as long as my husband and i support each other and love one another that is the only way we will ever get through any of this plus with a possible little one on the way i don't need the added stress
thanks again everyone
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thanks
