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So many couples I know have one or both of them out of a job and it is causing them incredible strain. One couple used to be hard working professionals who rarely saw each other because of their challenging careers and 12 hour work days. Now that they are BOTH out of work they are killing each other because they are together too much.
What impact has the tough job market had on your relationship?
One couple used to be hard working professionals who rarely saw each other because of their challenging careers and 12 hour work days.
Eh, at least YOU have enough time to travel on weekeends - resetting the mileage counter numerous times and giving the car a coat of fresh paint. Count yourself lucky! It doesn't work as well for everybody.
The last time the job market was a shambles (after 9/11), we sold everything and traveled full-time for 2 years in a small RV. Those were great years, and we loved all the time together.
No impact so far from this job market, as we're still employed (for now).
I am single now, but I know that when I was married, my then husband was out of work for several months and that was not easy. We argued all the time. I guess money is indeed the root of all evils. I am employed right now, bless the lord! For those of you out there who aren't, stay hopeful and use the extra time to do other things you enjoy so you keep your mind healthy until you find employment. I've been there and know how hard it feels.
None. My wife and are financially very conservative. We have always saved money. Even when I started my biz almost 20 years ago and we were eating lots of beans and rice, we tried to put back a couple of hundred bucks a month. And our rule of thumb is to be able to run our household on one spouse's income. As a result, our current mortgage is only one-third what the brokers said we could afford, we drive cars until the wheels fall off, and don't need to have the latest and greatest everything. While our friends were buying lake houses and leasing Mercedes, we pretty much kept our heads and just slogged forward. And while my consultancy took a major hit in 2008 and early 2009, we had already known that there would be a severe economic downturn as early as 2006 and planned accordingly.
I think the point of this is that hard times are going to hit. There will be rough financial patches in a marriage. People will lose their jobs. If you don't factor the Worst Case Scenario into your household finances, it's going to make things a lot harder for you in the long run. I know any number of couples who thought the Alice-In-Wonderland real estate economy would just keep going and went through major trauma as a result.
When the economy was great, we kept looking at these people who were buying new cars, renovating their kitchens, taking the kids on African safaris, and the whatnot and wondered how the hell they were paying for it all. As it turns out, most of them were depleting their homes' equity, thinking that values would keep rising indefinitely. When an attorney making $250K annually is living hand-to-mouth, you know that there are some seriously screwed-up finances at work.
Now that they are BOTH out of work they are killing each other because they are together too much.
And how do they expect to fare when they're both retired and alone together all the time? If a married couple can't be together alone a lot of the time w/arguing... then something's wrong.
I would have NEVER have anticipated my husband getting laid off and us ultimately moving for his new job, only to put the kabosh on my own career.
However we are very lucky. When we were both raking it in we saved a lot and that real estate economy did us proud, so when we moved we bought our house outright, have no debt etc.
I would say that ultimately it has brought us closer together in many ways, but I'm not terribly impressed that my career is basically down the toilet at this point.
I do recognise that ours is an unbelievably mild case, yes our income has gone down substantially, but it's still very good and we are in much better position than most of our peers in terms of debt/ savings, etc.
I can see why this economy could be the end of some couples, but fortunately it's had the opposite effect with us and if I could do it all over I would make the same decisions re leaving my business... just with a little more trepidation!
Easy solution: work for Uncle Sam! (i.e., meaning here as a permanent full employee, not as a contractor or terrn / excepted service employee)
Almost or near-invulnerable job security...granted, RIF's and gov't shutdowns do occur on occasion, but the job security is practically bulletproof, at least compared to the private sector...you would have do something outrageously egregious or completely unforgivable, to be unwillfully let go, by Uncle Sam...
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 12-29-2011 at 11:51 AM..
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Count yourself lucky! It doesn't work as well for everybody.
