Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-06-2012, 07:41 AM
 
2,066 posts, read 4,328,497 times
Reputation: 1992

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
No. The characters in this drama are a homosexual, a bisexual and a current girlfriend of the bisexual unless you're confusing this with a completely different thread ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josseppie View Post
I think overall it has been good.
ahhh I see

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-10-2012, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Pueblo - Colorado's Second City
12,262 posts, read 24,411,985 times
Reputation: 4395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josseppie View Post
I am having more and more of my friends tell me that these are signs he really wants to be with me. Then last night I got a text from him asking why I called his Gf. I don't have her number and I have never called her and that is what I told him. To be honest I could walk past her on the street and I would not recognize her even though I know of her. I think she is doing this because she feels threatened. Now rather she has good reason or not I am not sure as currently we are just friends. I have not talked to him since but next time I do I want to find out what she said I told her when I supposedly called her because that is just not my style.
I wanted to add to this post because I have not talked to him since his gf told him I called her. What bothers me the most is not that she lied but that he believes her over me someone who he has known for 6 years. So until he realizes she is lying my quest to be his friend is on hold. I will go on with my life until he calls me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2012, 10:32 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,665 posts, read 69,567,744 times
Reputation: 26727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josseppie View Post
I wanted to add to this post because I have not talked to him since his gf told him I called her. What bothers me the most is not that she lied but that he believes her over me someone who he has known for 6 years. So until he realizes she is lying my quest to be his friend is on hold. I will go on with my life until he calls me.
This is a good thing that you've essentially been forced not to be around him. I do wish you'd stop fooling yourself that you just want to be friends with him as that's obviously not the case. I wish you'd find someone else on whom to lavish your affection. If "Stuck In The Middle" breaks up with this girlfriend and comes back to your side of the fence, the same old back and forth is bound to continue unless (and this may be entirely impossible) he absolutely decides that he's homo or hetero-sexual.

But if, viz my bolded part of your post, you enjoy the drama ... By the way, just to be clear, if he calls you does it mean that your life will therefore be over?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2012, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Pueblo - Colorado's Second City
12,262 posts, read 24,411,985 times
Reputation: 4395
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
This is a good thing that you've essentially been forced not to be around him. I do wish you'd stop fooling yourself that you just want to be friends with him as that's obviously not the case. I wish you'd find someone else on whom to lavish your affection. If "Stuck In The Middle" breaks up with this girlfriend and comes back to your side of the fence, the same old back and forth is bound to continue unless (and this may be entirely impossible) he absolutely decides that he's homo or hetero-sexual.

But if, viz my bolded part of your post, you enjoy the drama ... By the way, just to be clear, if he calls you does it mean that your life will therefore be over?
I have admitted that I do like him, however, I have decided I would rather be his friend then not be in his life. Now for some reason his gf is jealous and is willing to lie to get me out of his life. It is working now but it won't last and in the end he will realize that I have not done the things she said and will call me back. I am just not sure if it will be 1 month or 6 months.

I am not sure I enjoy the drama as it has kept me up at night but I have never been in a "love triangle" like this before and in someways the dynamics of it are different. I would rather it be over and either me be friends with him or date him this not knowing is not really fun.

I dont understand this question: By the way, just to be clear, if he calls you does it mean that your life will therefore be over?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-11-2012, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Pueblo - Colorado's Second City
12,262 posts, read 24,411,985 times
Reputation: 4395
Honestly not much has been going on. He has been busy with school/ work and I have been working so we have not talked much. Until this week. He called me and he has been having his typical drama then said he wanted to give me a Valentines day card. I was kind of surprised to be honest as we are still just friends and he has a girlfriend. He told me he wanted to give me the card on Friday night between jobs so around 8 pm. He stopped by and not only had a card but a box of chocolates in the shape of a heart. I was surprised as I would not of thought he would get me that kind of gift for valentines day when we are just friends. He made it clear that he was giving me the present just as friends then went to work. Then he left he sent me a text actually and apologized for not getting me more as he is short on cash. I think he is very confused or just wants to lead me on as he says he only wants to be friends but his actions say something else. I am ok as friends but admit I still like him I just wish he would make up his mind.......
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-11-2012, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Homeless
17,717 posts, read 13,482,037 times
Reputation: 11994
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
He has a girlfriend yet he's going out for dinner with you?

I wouldn't be ok with my boyfriend taking his ex out to dinners.

I'm with you on this on if my Gf wanted to go out to dinner alone with her ex, I'd have some issues with that big time!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-11-2012, 09:35 PM
 
663 posts, read 1,080,221 times
Reputation: 945
I know of people who can be friends with their ex but it just doesn't sound appealing whatsoever. I had to be in contact with my ex husband for 15 years after our divorce; we have a daughter together. We got along ok sometimes but I didn't want to be his friend....not by a long shot. Have not spoken to even one time since her HS graduation a few years back, and don't miss him or the forced contact. To me, someone's an ex for a reason. Had an ex-BF try to "friend" me on FB. I hit decline or ignore, whichever it is....there's just no interest in that for me. Sounds like too much potential for mind games to me, IMO anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-11-2012, 10:00 PM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,827 posts, read 7,311,888 times
Reputation: 4949
Being friends with an ex is not being able to let go and move on....it's like leaving your belongings in the ex's apartment so you can go get them one piece at a time. oh well, to each his own....

Last edited by MaggieZ; 02-11-2012 at 10:37 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-11-2012, 10:35 PM
 
6,459 posts, read 12,005,037 times
Reputation: 6395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josseppie View Post
I have admitted that I do like him, however, I have decided I would rather be his friend then not be in his life.
This is very, very hard to do. I'm trying to do this now with someone that I honestly respect and admire, but know that there is no chance for us to be together. He's the first man that I've ever tried to do this with and it's hard.

I don't think I'll be able to keep it up much longer and will eventually fade this "friend" thing to black in a couple of months. He has a girlfriend now and even though he and I can't be together, I do wish him happiness with someone he's more compatible with, but it burns me up as well.

You really need to start trying to date someone else. There are tons of gorgeous gay men that will LOVE to be with you, especially if you're willing to pay for everything without question.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2012, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Pueblo - Colorado's Second City
12,262 posts, read 24,411,985 times
Reputation: 4395
Quote:
Originally Posted by marilyn220 View Post
This is very, very hard to do. I'm trying to do this now with someone that I honestly respect and admire, but know that there is no chance for us to be together. He's the first man that I've ever tried to do this with and it's hard.
Does he want to be friends? Is he letting you go or does he give you mixed signs. For me that is the hard part as I really feel he likes me but just can't date a guy so he keeps me around till he can. In the past I have dated guys that when its over they say its over and some I have come to be good friends with. One of them lives in Spain and we talk all the time and I visit him a few times a year and I hang out with him and his bf.

Quote:
Originally Posted by marilyn220 View Post
I don't think I'll be able to keep it up much longer and will eventually fade this "friend" thing to black in a couple of months. He has a girlfriend now and even though he and I can't be together, I do wish him happiness with someone he's more compatible with, but it burns me up as well.
I can understand that. You need to think about yourself and if you can't be his friend that is ok.

Quote:
Originally Posted by marilyn220 View Post
You really need to start trying to date someone else. There are tons of gorgeous gay men that will LOVE to be with you, especially if you're willing to pay for everything without question.
Not where I live as I love Pueblo but its only 110,000 people so my options are limited. Beyond that at this time I really don't feel like looking. The thing that he said that gets me is this:

"I am gay and liked you but you had a bf and now I have to try it out with her as I have known her since high school but if it does not work out I will date you".

Everything he said is true. As I look back he was giving me signs that he liked me but I had a bf but at the time did not see them and what really sucks while I liked the guy I was dating I was never in love with him.

As far as the girl he is dating he has known her since hs.

So is his conclusion correct as well or is he leading me on? This song by Nelly really fits the situation and I wish I could re do last year but I can't so at this point I am waiting to see what happens. I mean in the grand scheme of things what is a few months?



In my case in the end I know I could be his friend if he would let me be his friend but he needs to decide if he wants me as a bf or a friend.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:03 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top