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Old 12-30-2011, 06:54 PM
 
Location: The Mitten
796 posts, read 1,114,848 times
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Either gender; is it harder for the single parents to find a relationship, or is it harder for the single non-parents?

I'm just wondering. I'm sick of being alone every holiday, every new year, while my friends and family are busy with their in-laws or their spouses. As it is right now, I moved to my hometown in movement of a new career direction. I lost track of my high school friends, they moved to other states. I had friends where I used to live, but I live so far away now I'm slowly losing track of them as well.

I've been reading these forums often and on a few occasions I've seen posts that ask for single non-parents looking for similar folks. Is a relationship pretty much done for me? Do I even have a chance now?
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Old 12-30-2011, 08:57 PM
 
Location: The Present
2,016 posts, read 3,697,998 times
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I'd say its harder for women, If your a man not so much. Since you have children, your prospects will look much better once they turn 18.
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Old 12-30-2011, 09:14 PM
 
Location: The Mitten
796 posts, read 1,114,848 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wordlife View Post
I'd say its harder for women, If your a man not so much. Since you have children, your prospects will look much better once they turn 18.
Great, I don't think I can wait that long. If I don't have any relationship by then, I don't think I'll give one a chance.
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Old 12-30-2011, 09:24 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
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Single parents. People are more wary of dating you because if it becomes serious then you kind of eventually take on some sort of parental/quasi-parental role and some aren't ready for that.
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Old 12-30-2011, 09:47 PM
 
3,735 posts, read 3,932,261 times
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It's much harder for single parents.

People often don't want to deal with all the issues that revolve around the children, like discipline, extra expenses, lack of privacy, etc.

It's probably easier to focus your search on mates who also have children and will sympathize with these issues.

Last edited by Pivot Point; 12-30-2011 at 10:08 PM..
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Old 12-30-2011, 10:08 PM
 
Location: The Mitten
796 posts, read 1,114,848 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie1249 View Post
It's much harder for single parents.

People often don't want to deal with all the issues that revolve around the children like disciplinary problems, differing child-rearing beliefs, extra child-related expenses, lack of privacy, drama from baby-daddies or baby-mamas, etc.

It's probably easier to focus your search on mates who also have children and will sympathize with these issues. Also, things are, obviously, much easier for single parents when the children are older and more independent.
I understand this.

When I lived up north, I met someone who also had a kid. This person was very much someone I was looking forward to be with; however, this is how she is; she likes to surround herself with people everyday. She asked me a few times to take care of my daughter for me; she went out of her way to make sure I worked and went out to pick up my daughter 30 minutes away, take her out to dinner, bring her back to her house and watch her for another 2-3 hours.

Now this should give me a good idea that there are people out there like this. I didn't start my new job yet, in fact, I moved down around the end of November. I know relationships aren't instant, but I'm sick of waiting. Hopefully the previous person was a stepping stone to a more sustainable relationship.

To be honest, I brought a few women to my house to meet my daughter. They did there talking, gossiping, laughing...what have you. The first time I brought the above person to my house was the first time my daughter actually came to her first, shook her hand and asked if she was my crush. Just out of the blue, out of 2-3 other women that have been there, this person was the one and only she was comfortable enough to approach and ask a simple, innocent question.

I guess I'm afraid of going it alone, or realizing I will be alone now for the rest of my life.

Last edited by mitopcat; 12-30-2011 at 11:33 PM..
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Old 12-30-2011, 11:57 PM
 
Location: East Coast
2,902 posts, read 4,580,910 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitopcat View Post
To be honest, I brought a few women to my house to meet my daughter. They did there talking, gossiping, laughing...what have you. The first time I brought the above person to my house was the first time my daughter actually came to her first, shook her hand and asked if she was my crush. Just out of the blue, out of 2-3 other women that have been there, this person was the one and only she was comfortable enough to approach and ask a simple, innocent question.

I guess I'm afraid of going it alone, or realizing I will be alone now for the rest of my life.
Please do NOT bring women home to meet your daughter unless it's a pretty serious relationship. This is a cardinal rule that many single parents will agree with...I say this as a single parent myself. You don't want your daughter becoming attached to someone who may "disappear" tomorrow.

Stop worrying about whether you will be alone for the rest of your life. Maybe you will, and maybe you won't. Just take each day as it comes, put one foot in front of the other, and realize that your daughter isn't going to be a little girl forever. Make sure she's a priority in your life.

Good luck...single parenting isn't for sissies.
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Old 12-31-2011, 08:02 AM
 
7,495 posts, read 9,755,823 times
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I'd say single parents hands down. They tend to have a lot more on their plate and a lot more to organize and prioritize than anybody who is not a parent and not in a caretaking position of any kind. There could be exceptions to the rule though; a severely disabled single person might definitely have it harder than a single parent who is not disabled.
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Old 12-31-2011, 08:12 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,631 posts, read 33,419,067 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LibraGirl123 View Post
Please do NOT bring women home to meet your daughter unless it's a pretty serious relationship. This is a cardinal rule that many single parents will agree with...I say this as a single parent myself. You don't want your daughter becoming attached to someone who may "disappear" tomorrow.

Stop worrying about whether you will be alone for the rest of your life. Maybe you will, and maybe you won't. Just take each day as it comes, put one foot in front of the other, and realize that your daughter isn't going to be a little girl forever. Make sure she's a priority in your life.

Good luck...single parenting isn't for sissies.
^This.

As a child of a divorced household, mom did me a favor not letting me get too attached until the realtionship got serious as in engagement or marriage.

It aint a contest single parents have it real hard.
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Old 01-03-2012, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,511 posts, read 8,756,105 times
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My partner was raising a boy of 15 when we first met. Now he is 29. She made it very clear to me from the outset that I was not to play the role of a father, or intervene in his upbringing in any way, and that he was the single most important person in her life. I was number 3. (Her father was number 2). Since then, I've fallen to number 4. (She now has a grandson and her father just had his 90th birthday). That's always impressed me as how it should be.
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