Friends and Lovers and.... more friends (how to, men, gay, call)

[recuerdeme]

So I have a fairly new friendship with this guy... lets say since October 1. We hit it off well and have been good buds. Mainly from my end because I can call on him when everyone else is busy and he'll be up for doing something because he's unemployed and has nothing else to do. Probably from his end he likes that I pretty much pay for everything.

Now I have a new love interest lets say since December 1. And things are going smoothly with him.

Well I introduced the new beau to this friend and my friend for some reason kept asking my bf (I'm putting bf just bc it quicker we are too new to be that) for his number. My bf didn't give it to him and I was like "Good, you made the right decision" but during the new year celebrations my friend was around again and again was asking my bf for his number. It kind of annoyed me. And my bf gave it to him this time. Maybe in the spirit of we are all friends now so why not.

Now I do NOT think there is any seamy underhandedness going on because the two aren't each others type but still I've never had a friend ask any of my bfs for their numbers... and had this friend been one of my really close friends I wouldn't be here typing this out. But in the end don't you like controlling the flow of information between your friends and lover?

Thoughts...

[ChessieMom]

Huh? "the two aren't each others type"

Are you gay?

[barkomatic]

Originally Posted by recuerdeme

So I have a fairly new friendship with this guy... lets say since October 1. We hit it off well and have been good buds. Mainly from my end because I can call on him when everyone else is busy and he'll be up for doing something because he's unemployed and has nothing else to do. Probably from his end he likes that I pretty much pay for everything.

Now I have a new love interest lets say since December 1. And things are going smoothly with him.

Well I introduced the new beau to this friend and my friend for some reason kept asking my bf (I'm putting bf just bc it quicker we are too new to be that) for his number. My bf didn't give it to him and I was like "Good, you made the right decision" but during the new year celebrations my friend was around again and again was asking my bf for his number. It kind of annoyed me. And my bf gave it to him this time. Maybe in the spirit of we are all friends now so why not.

Now I do NOT think there is any seamy underhandedness going on because the two aren't each others type but still I've never had a friend ask any of my bfs for their numbers... and had this friend been one of my really close friends I wouldn't be here typing this out. But in the end don't you like controlling the flow of information between your friends and lover?

Thoughts...

I'm assuming you are all gay men but correct me if I'm wrong. I'd say your unemployed friend is interested in your new guy--and I think you suspect that too since you are posting here. However, it could be that your friend is kinda bored and is simply looking for more people to hang out with. It sounds like your BF was reluctant to give out his number so there may not be much to worry about. You can't control the "flow of information" between anyone--but you can ask your BF about it later.

Judging the "types" that people go after is sometimes unreliable. You never know.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by recuerdeme

So I have a fairly new friendship with this guy... lets say since October 1. We hit it off well and have been good buds. Mainly from my end because I can call on him when everyone else is busy and he'll be up for doing something because he's unemployed and has nothing else to do. Probably from his end he likes that I pretty much pay for everything.

Now I have a new love interest lets say since December 1. And things are going smoothly with him.

Well I introduced the new beau to this friend and my friend for some reason kept asking my bf (I'm putting bf just bc it quicker we are too new to be that) for his number. My bf didn't give it to him and I was like "Good, you made the right decision" but during the new year celebrations my friend was around again and again was asking my bf for his number. It kind of annoyed me. And my bf gave it to him this time. Maybe in the spirit of we are all friends now so why not.

Now I do NOT think there is any seamy underhandedness going on because the two aren't each others type but still I've never had a friend ask any of my bfs for their numbers... and had this friend been one of my really close friends I wouldn't be here typing this out. But in the end don't you like controlling the flow of information between your friends and lover?

Thoughts...

I think you need a new friend. Did she ask you if she could have your BF's number? And why would she need it? This stinks to high heaven.

[himain]

Wait I'm very confused?? I thought you were straight???

[katestar]

Hey, I do believe that you are gay - I remember you answering on one of my threads.

It does sound a little suspicous to me only because you haven't known the friend or the bf that long. What this means is that you don't know the intentions of the friend, first off. Second, you might not have full trust of the bf.

For example, my gf and I have known each other for 3 years going out for about 2.5. I trust her completely and tell her that. I tell her that she is free to hang out with whomever she wants. If someone gives her a number at a club or wherever or if she gives out her number, I know that I have nothing to worry about irregardless of what this person's intention is with my gf. I think it takes time to build this trust and you might not be there yet with your bf.

[MariaKintobor]

If he has your bfs number he can run an online search and find out where you bf lives. This is trouble.

[funymann]

Originally Posted by recuerdeme

So I have a fairly new friendship with this guy... lets say since October 1. We hit it off well and have been good buds. Mainly from my end because I can call on him when everyone else is busy and he'll be up for doing something because he's unemployed and has nothing else to do. Probably from his end he likes that I pretty much pay for everything.

Now I have a new love interest lets say since December 1. And things are going smoothly with him.

Well I introduced the new beau to this friend and my friend for some reason kept asking my bf (I'm putting bf just bc it quicker we are too new to be that) for his number. My bf didn't give it to him and I was like "Good, you made the right decision" but during the new year celebrations my friend was around again and again was asking my bf for his number. It kind of annoyed me. And my bf gave it to him this time. Maybe in the spirit of we are all friends now so why not.

Now I do NOT think there is any seamy underhandedness going on because the two aren't each others type but still I've never had a friend ask any of my bfs for their numbers... and had this friend been one of my really close friends I wouldn't be here typing this out. But in the end don't you like controlling the flow of information between your friends and lover?

Thoughts...

O.k. I am assuming you are a girl.

So you have been hanging out with a male friend. Paying for everything when you two hang out.

Now...you have a love interest and your friend wants his number??

Here is my thoughts..he sees this as competition. Your friend likes you more than friends and is out to get rid of this "new bf" that you have.

That's my thoughts. Your friend will probably talk to him saying you have herpes or something to get rid of him so your friend can have you all to himself.

Now, that is speculation and might not be the case at all. Just a thought.

[D217]

3 guys.


Your "friend" is out of line.

[Coolhand68]

Originally Posted by D217

3 guys.


Your "friend" is out of line.

I agree. Seems your friend doesn't know how to take no for an answer if he was declined the first few times when asking your BF for his number. Now, your BF has finally given in knowing you may have some objections. Not sure what to make of that, but if you don't think this "friend" is good enough to be around your BF, then perhaps you should re-think this friendship.