U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 01-04-2012, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Chicago
2,171 posts, read 2,371,631 times
Reputation: 2155

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by cutequeenslady View Post
The thing about them is that she is not his real family. I mean I could see her being really close to a godmother like that. But even so, she's 31. And he doesn't act like this with his blood relatives. He seems to have no problem distancing himself from them. So strange.

I guess I didn't want to be the excuse because there is already so much tension between me and the goddaughter.
As strange as it is, it is what it is. I have a godchild and if his parents died and the kid had nowhere to go, I would feel a little bit inclined to take him in. Even if he was 31. I am a harda$$ though and he wouldn't stay too long. But depending upon how your fiancee feels, he may view her as family.

Again, I wouldnt feel bad. Who cares if she hates you, she isn't family! lol Its a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-04-2012, 03:43 PM
 
168 posts, read 162,108 times
Reputation: 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGuy2.5 View Post
As strange as it is, it is what it is. I have a godchild and if his parents died and the kid had nowhere to go, I would feel a little bit inclined to take him in. Even if he was 31. I am a harda$$ though and he wouldn't stay too long. But depending upon how your fiancee feels, he may view her as family.

Again, I wouldnt feel bad. Who cares if she hates you, she isn't family! lol Its a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

Nothing wrong with taking someone in but in a studio apartment for nearly 3 years? We are not talking about 2 people of the same gender, but a man and a woman who are not a couple in a studio apartment with her stuff everywhere. She put her pajamas and boxers over my face cloth which I had hung up in the bathroom, doesn't empty the bathroom wastebasket so there is a collection of used feminine products that need to be emptied. The last argument we had was because I changed the sheets on his bed and she said she had just changed the sheets on his bed before going to sleep. She texted me the next day and said if I had a problem sleeping on clean sheets I should bring my own if I don't like touching something she touched. She said she changed the sheets for her "uncle" and that it was petty of me to feel like I had to change them again.

We haven't spoken since.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-11-2012, 03:11 PM
 
168 posts, read 162,108 times
Reputation: 67
Default update

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne View Post
I would renew. I grew up in NYC and have lived there as an adult, so I'm well aware of the rental market. You know how much of a pain it would be to find another place if things didn't work out with your fiance, and you also know how expensive it is to move, so it's not very likely that someone who is out of work and apparently unmotivated to move is actually going to find a place anytime soon.

I don't understand why you feel guilty. You are planning to marry this man? It's not unreasonable that you two would want to share a household.

Fiance's goddaughter has agreed to move out before the end of my lease, whether I move in with him or not. My fiance has acknowledged that even though we are saving $$$, I would be giving up my quality of life in moving from a 2br to sharing a studio that has a weird layout. I have lived alone in a studio apartment before but the layout allowed for more privacy and even living by myself I got tired of it after a while.

Besides saving $$$, my lease is up an a few months while my SO's lease is up in 13 months. He said he would prefer to move to Queens where I live because there is better parking and more space. But his landlord will not let him out of his lease. So now he is thinking of subletting to his goddaughter and her boyfriend. I told him that he needs to deal with the boyfriend on this because his goddaughter is clearly irresponsible.

Does anyone see any other issues with subletting to the goddaughter and her bf?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-11-2012, 04:12 PM
 
13,566 posts, read 23,068,505 times
Reputation: 9962
Why doesn't he move in with you if you have more room? If you feel you can live in the apt with him, then go for it. I would just be cautious of giving up an apt where you are happy.
__________________
"
You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
Robert Louis Stevenson

********************************
Post link not copyrighted material
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-12-2012, 07:16 AM
 
168 posts, read 162,108 times
Reputation: 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
Why doesn't he move in with you if you have more room? If you feel you can live in the apt with him, then go for it. I would just be cautious of giving up an apt where you are happy.

My lease is up, his is not. And his rent is $700 less a month than mine. Significant less space but also significantly more savings.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-12-2012, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Bronx, NY
214 posts, read 371,338 times
Reputation: 147
Renew your lease! Don't give up your place!

I made the mistake just this month of giving 30 days notice so my SO and I could find a place together. Unfortunately, things weren't as "tidied up" as I thought and as a consequence, I was forced to move from Astoria into his studio in Weschester County with an additional 1/2+ commute. Not terrible but not what was planned.

And really, your fiance should've been planning on moving in with you to begin with considering you have the larger space. I know you all would've been saving mucho dinero on rent but there's an opportunity for a happy median between saving, quality of life, and an automatic solution to the god daughter issue.

Also, your fiance should not sublease to his god daughter. He should find someone who is capable of maintaining the place and have a clean break from her and their living situation because it will surely come back to haunt you both.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-12-2012, 02:07 PM
 
168 posts, read 162,108 times
Reputation: 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaasNYC View Post
Renew your lease! Don't give up your place!

I made the mistake just this month of giving 30 days notice so my SO and I could find a place together. Unfortunately, things weren't as "tidied up" as I thought and as a consequence, I was forced to move from Astoria into his studio in Weschester County with an additional 1/2+ commute. Not terrible but not what was planned.

And really, your fiance should've been planning on moving in with you to begin with considering you have the larger space. I know you all would've been saving mucho dinero on rent but there's an opportunity for a happy median between saving, quality of life, and an automatic solution to the god daughter issue.

Also, your fiance should not sublease to his god daughter. He should find someone who is capable of maintaining the place and have a clean break from her and their living situation because it will surely come back to haunt you both.
Therein lies the problem. His lease is not up until February 2013. Landlord will not let him break it. In a small building, how do you move in an illegal sublet? I agree the goddaughter is shaky but at least the super knows her and the boyfriend could move in with less fanfare. Where does one even find an illegal subletter?

Sigh.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-12-2012, 02:13 PM
 
168 posts, read 162,108 times
Reputation: 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaasNYC View Post
Renew your lease! Don't give up your place!

I made the mistake just this month of giving 30 days notice so my SO and I could find a place together. Unfortunately, things weren't as "tidied up" as I thought and as a consequence, I was forced to move from Astoria into his studio in Weschester County with an additional 1/2+ commute. Not terrible but not what was planned.

And really, your fiance should've been planning on moving in with you to begin with considering you have the larger space. I know you all would've been saving mucho dinero on rent but there's an opportunity for a happy median between saving, quality of life, and an automatic solution to the god daughter issue.

Also, your fiance should not sublease to his god daughter. He should find someone who is capable of maintaining the place and have a clean break from her and their living situation because it will surely come back to haunt you both.
You know, you bring up a very good point here about a clean break from the goddaughter. I'm so tired of her. I get that when she came to stay with him it was like having a niece to help out with cooking, have someone to talk to, etc. But he let her into too much of his business. And he let her take up too much of his space and she's really a slob. But she became a bully to me (I will probably post on this later) and I can imagine her having a crisis in the apartment every other month, including not being able to come up with rent on time.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-12-2012, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Bronx, NY
214 posts, read 371,338 times
Reputation: 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by cutequeenslady View Post
Therein lies the problem. His lease is not up until February 2013. Landlord will not let him break it. In a small building, how do you move in an illegal sublet? I agree the goddaughter is shaky but at least the super knows her and the boyfriend could move in with less fanfare. Where does one even find an illegal subletter?

Sigh.
No - I meant a legal sublease. Some landlords will allow this as long as they can vett the potential tenant.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-12-2012, 03:35 PM
 
168 posts, read 162,108 times
Reputation: 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaasNYC View Post
No - I meant a legal sublease. Some landlords will allow this as long as they can vett the potential tenant.

Ok, I see what you mean. A few times in the past when I looked at apartments via craigslist it was the tenant currently in the apartment who had to move and was showing the apartment. I still had to apply through the landlord and have my credit checked. Would that be considered a sublease also? Or was the landlord letting the tenant out of the lease once the tenant found a suitable replacement?
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top