I wasn't raped, but it sure felt like it. (guys, couple, percentage)

[Percentage]

Originally Posted by lilamx

Thank you, you're right. I don't want to pursue this legally. I came here to vent. I didn't enjoy the sex. How could I? I liked this guy and wanted to get to know him better before that happened. But putting myself in that position was of course wrong of me, it invites all types of things. I'm starting to pay attention to all those previous signs, and I know I shouldn't be seeing him again.

This should have been included in the original post. ok, then...you are in good hands wrt to getting emotional support. I'm so outta here tho!

[Slanderous]

Originally Posted by lilamx

But putting myself in that position was of course wrong of me, it invites all types of things.

It wasn't wrong of you at all. Just because a guy wants to cuddle, kiss or even do more doesn't mean he expects to have sex with you. Even if he does expect sex, the moment "no" is uttered he should have stopped. The reason this happened is because he's a terrible person, not because of you.

No one can convince you to file a police report or get therapy, but you should consider both. You were a victim, not a criminal.

[SouthernBelleInUtah]

You are still in shock. It was rape but maybe telling everyone you know that he is a rapist is better than going to the police after the texts. PLEASE get some counseling. Go to a Rape Crisis Center, they are free, and they can help you feel better about yourself and also tell you what are your legal options given all the facts and knowing the system where you live. We don't know how the local authorities are where you live and that can make a difference to the outcome.

[recuerdeme]

Originally Posted by lilamx

The reason I say I wasn't raped was because I put myself in that position. I made the decision to cuddle in bed with him. I told him that was the only thing that would be happening (how naive of me). But I was really intent and firm on saying that nothing would happen. I told him '"no" a million times. I told him to get off of me, but he grabbed a condom and soon enough he had his privates rubbing me. He pushed my underwear to the side and, me still telling him to please get off of me, he went ahead and did it. At that point I didn't even try pushing him off. I'm not putting the blame entirely on him, because like I said before, I put myself in that position. It was stupid of me to believe we would only cuddle. I really believed that would be the only thing happening. I didn't know some men were such pigs with little self-control. Had I known, I wouldn't have gone to bed with him. The worst part is that I like this guy a lot. I had very high hopes. I really, really liked him. But now I'm starting to see him in a different light. It seems like he is really only after one thing. I feel like I don't learn from my mistakes. But this one made me reflect a lot.

OMG are you the guy I'm dating???

Seriously he comes over last night and says he just wants to cuddle and sleep... and no sex...

A few rubs later I had his cKs down and we were doing the do...

Had he really insisted on no sex, no sex would have happened. And of course he could have gotten up and left. But he didn't and you didn't you made a calculated move. Leaving or pitching a fit would mean the guy would be in the position of ending things because you seem too touchy about sex. So you stayed and now feel used... but I'm sure you talked to him today...

[FourOhFive]

Originally Posted by lilamx

The reason I say I wasn't raped was because I put myself in that position. I made the decision to cuddle in bed with him. I told him that was the only thing that would be happening (how naive of me). But I was really intent and firm on saying that nothing would happen. I told him '"no" a million times. I told him to get off of me, but he grabbed a condom and soon enough he had his privates rubbing me. He pushed my underwear to the side and, me still telling him to please get off of me, he went ahead and did it. At that point I didn't even try pushing him off. I'm not putting the blame entirely on him, because like I said before, I put myself in that position. It was stupid of me to believe we would only cuddle. I really believed that would be the only thing happening. I didn't know some men were such pigs with little self-control. Had I known, I wouldn't have gone to bed with him. The worst part is that I like this guy a lot. I had very high hopes. I really, really liked him. But now I'm starting to see him in a different light. It seems like he is really only after one thing. I feel like I don't learn from my mistakes. But this one made me reflect a lot.

Yeah, you were raped. You should report it because who knows how many other times this has happened with him. Rape is rape. Rather it be by force or cunningness. It is still rape.

[LS Jaun]

Originally Posted by noela

We're not saying he's not "as good". We're saying he committed a crime.

Exactly what Noela is saying. Regardless of whether you liked him or not he committed a CRIME. simple as that. You are doing woman and good men a diservice by letting him go with out being charged.

HE DID THE CRIME AND SHOULD FACE THE CONSIQUENCES.

My mother taught me right from wrong and a man stops when they hear the words no and as you said, you said it many times. He will most likely continue this behavior and procede to rape other woman and it my not end as well for them as it did for you!!!

[ChiGuy2.5]

I think the fact that he is a rapist and that she was raped has been established... Can you all see over that and try to help the situation at hand?

She does not feel comfortable reporting it to the police, it sounds like she feels somewhat responsible. Why? I dont know.

[SkiScree]

Originally Posted by TheEssex

Are you a moderator? How do you know if a thread is deleted forever that it will show up on a Google search. Id bet that it wouldnt!

You've obviously never heard of Google cache or any form of computer forensics period for that matter.

Trust me, nothing is ever deleted once it's published on the internet.

OP, get help, please. Think about the next victim. She might fight and he may very well kill her.

Do the right thing. Talk to someone.

Originally Posted by TheEssex

Are you a moderator? How do you know if a thread is deleted forever that it will show up on a Google search. Id bet that it wouldnt! This is a nasty brutal world and his lawyers will not care about her and her feelings. If deleting this thread saves her potentially a bunch of grief later I say get rid of it now!

I had to respond to what you added to your original post:

Not even a legal assistant with half the competence of the dumbest IT guy on the block would miss being able to dredge up a thread that was deleted. Seriously, do a little research and you'll find that nothing ever disappears from online.

[lilamx]

I haven't talked to him at all today. I won't. Though I liked him and wish things would have turned out differently, I do have an ounce of self-respect in me. I don't want to be with that type of guy.

[Book Lover 21]

The text you sent says more about you and your confusion than it does about him. I think it would be worth reporting, be upfront about the text. If the guy already has a record, then the text will be less important than you think.