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Old 01-05-2012, 02:39 PM
 
946 posts, read 2,239,270 times
Reputation: 1064

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The reason I say I wasn't raped was because I put myself in that position. I made the decision to cuddle in bed with him. I told him that was the only thing that would be happening (how naive of me). But I was really intent and firm on saying that nothing would happen. I told him '"no" a million times. I told him to get off of me, but he grabbed a condom and soon enough he had his privates rubbing me. He pushed my underwear to the side and, me still telling him to please get off of me, he went ahead and did it. At that point I didn't even try pushing him off. I'm not putting the blame entirely on him, because like I said before, I put myself in that position. It was stupid of me to believe we would only cuddle. I really believed that would be the only thing happening. I didn't know some men were such pigs with little self-control. Had I known, I wouldn't have gone to bed with him. The worst part is that I like this guy a lot. I had very high hopes. I really, really liked him. But now I'm starting to see him in a different light. It seems like he is really only after one thing. I feel like I don't learn from my mistakes. But this one made me reflect a lot.

 
Old 01-05-2012, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,398 posts, read 12,452,490 times
Reputation: 6193
I am not a lawyer, but I learned in my criminal law class that the moment she says "no," you stop. And I'm pretty sure that's how the law sees it too. If you said no then he HAD to stop.

I can't imagine what emotions you're feeling right now, but I really think you need to file a police report.
 
Old 01-05-2012, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Arizona
453 posts, read 910,276 times
Reputation: 586
No means no. I agree with HurricaneDC.
 
Old 01-05-2012, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
19,384 posts, read 20,192,773 times
Reputation: 38579
I wouldn't say this lightly, but you said no, and he forced himself on you. You consented to cuddling, not sex. It's rape.
 
Old 01-05-2012, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 18,475,619 times
Reputation: 22051
You were raped. No means no. It doesn't matter if you cuddling with him, it doesn't matter if you were making out with him, it doesn't matter what you were doing. No means no. All men are not pigs with no self control. Only men who are really screwed up in the head would be able to do something like that. You were clearly not enjoying yourself and were trying to get him to stop. Only a rapist would enjoy that. See a counselor. Talk to somebody. And most of all - NEVER see this creep again.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you.
 
Old 01-05-2012, 02:46 PM
 
228 posts, read 383,491 times
Reputation: 418
Sounds like a sleaze. I wonder about some guys. Lesson learned, next time you say and mean NO, be more aggressive. Kick him in the nuts if that's what it takes to get your point across. Sorry this happened to you.
 
Old 01-05-2012, 02:46 PM
 
Location: Houston
529 posts, read 1,094,940 times
Reputation: 372
How is this not rape?
 
Old 01-05-2012, 02:46 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 18,475,619 times
Reputation: 22051
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
I am not a lawyer, but I learned in my criminal law class that the moment she says "no," you stop. And I'm pretty sure that's how the law sees it too. If you said no then he HAD to stop.

I can't imagine what emotions you're feeling right now, but I really think you need to file a police report.
Yeah - and that, too.
 
Old 01-05-2012, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Staten Island, NY
6,481 posts, read 5,552,309 times
Reputation: 6910
Penetration without consent sounds very much like a crime to me. If your local police department has a Special Victims Unit I'd contact them.
 
Old 01-05-2012, 02:47 PM
 
Location: locus amoenus
1,804 posts, read 2,856,445 times
Reputation: 1974
Don't let him get away with this. It felt like rape because it IS rape.
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