A new day has dawned. I am free! (movies, man, family)

[Pikantari]

I told him I did not want the kids over there overnight, he thinks I am insane, the sleeping stuff is worked out he says.

UGH

He says, moreover, he wants to pick them up on friday afternoon instead, and have them til Sunday. He wants to take them to the Outer Banks.

He can afford to go to the Outer Banks, but he cannot afford housing. He said he would call me tonight and talk more to me about it.....

He says it is my fault he has no place to live because I left him, and that is my fault because he did nothing wrong, and then that once again, my fault, when I left he needed a cosigner, my fault, everything in the world is my fault. I told him no it is not.

He told me his 'team' of lawyers has just begun on his paperwork, etc, and that i will have an uncontested divorce for not mediating...bs.....

He still is saying he wants to go over the separation agreement again, now with his lawyer, I told him to have his lawyer come up with one and I would look it over.

Work was crap, I was called into the OM office w her and the Aom...door closed, out comes a piece of paper because i ran late by 2 mins after 815 a couple of times, and it spoke of disciplinary measures and possible dismissal. The writing was all in bad grammar. I told her I would not sign it and that I would have to meet with the dr, and the 2 of them and we could go over it, also with a tape recorder. She had said a few things in that very meeting, and then when I brought them back up, she said she never said it. AOM just sat there never saying a word...at all.

I talked of the last time they did this to me in the conference room and how she stood raising her voice at me the whole time. What do you mean I stood?!?!?!

So I stood up, with the 2 of them seated, and said just like this, you stood up over me, going on and on, and when I asked you while you are raising your voice and yelling at me, is there anything that i do good at my job, and at that time she had turned it ocver to aom, she said do you want to hear me yell?

I asked if that was all...and left the office. She had said that she and the physician did the letter, and I think there is no way at all. Jerks.

[thelostsouls]

Originally Posted by cinderobyn

I told him I did not want the kids over there overnight, he thinks I am insane, the sleeping stuff is worked out he says.

UGH

He says, moreover, he wants to pick them up on friday afternoon instead, and have them til Sunday. He wants to take them to the Outer Banks.

He can afford to go to the Outer Banks, but he cannot afford housing. He said he would call me tonight and talk more to me about it.....

He says it is my fault he has no place to live because I left him, and that is my fault because he did nothing wrong, and then that once again, my fault, when I left he needed a cosigner, my fault, everything in the world is my fault. I told him no it is not.

He told me his 'team' of lawyers has just begun on his paperwork, etc, and that i will have an uncontested divorce for not mediating...bs.....

He still is saying he wants to go over the separation agreement again, now with his lawyer, I told him to have his lawyer come up with one and I would look it over.

Work was crap, I was called into the OM office w her and the Aom...door closed, out comes a piece of paper because i ran late by 2 mins after 815 a couple of times, and it spoke of disciplinary measures and possible dismissal. The writing was all in bad grammar. I told her I would not sign it and that I would have to meet with the dr, and the 2 of them and we could go over it, also with a tape recorder. She had said a few things in that very meeting, and then when I brought them back up, she said she never said it. AOM just sat there never saying a word...at all.

I talked of the last time they did this to me in the conference room and how she stood raising her voice at me the whole time. What do you mean I stood?!?!?!

So I stood up, with the 2 of them seated, and said just like this, you stood up over me, going on and on, and when I asked you while you are raising your voice and yelling at me, is there anything that i do good at my job, and at that time she had turned it ocver to aom, she said do you want to hear me yell?

I asked if that was all...and left the office. She had said that she and the physician did the letter, and I think there is no way at all. Jerks.

Tonight,
Glass of wine and a bubble bath
or
a movie in with the kids.
Just something to ease the stress.

Your ex is a moron. Team of lawyers? that made me laugh out loud. Just dont pay attention to anything he says. He's trying to freak you out and scare you. Dont let him succeed.

As for work, I hear ya. So many jerks, and my shotgun has to be reloaded... Too much time for them to run away . Seriously, This chick sounds like a control freak. Maybe a passive-aggressive approach? The whole 2-minutes late thing is lame. and the damning thing is that you can't fight that. You basically have to show up early and punch in on the dot to pacify them.

Best of luck to you robyn "...if you're rollin through hell, keep on going..."
chin up

[Pikantari]

He still insists that he will pick the kids up tomorrow afternoon. I am in disagreement with him. He says i am trying to make things difficult for him, hard on him. If I want to continue to talk to him, I will have to pay for it.

Wants to take the kids to the beach with his mother and sister in November. I said and when they get sick, then what? I have to take them to the dr, pay the bills, and stay home from work? Your decision, he says. You made the choice, now you have to love with it.

Earlier today he asked me again if i wanted to get back with him...off the wall.

When he made the comment that from now on if I wanted to talk to hi it would have to be through lawyers and it would cost me I said thats fine, and click. I think he is thinking of picking the kids up here at the house tomorrow or something.

then he wants me to meet him closer to where he lives now...which is far. I said no. He complained to me about having to drive 45 mins one way to work, and I said, well I have to drive a ways to work everyday as well. then on top of that, rent, utilities, food, water, etc......you have any of that? Yes, all of it, he says. OK.

Well, night all...the kids and I have watched Smallville...gotta love that Clark Kent... and it is time for bed. The late show, thats my eyes watching the lids...or the dark show.

[Magnolia Bloom]

Do you think you should call the police tonight and ask them what you should do if he comes for the kids? Let them know that he is sharing a bed with L and that your attorney said not to allow them to go with im this weekend and that you have a hearing coming up this week?

And/or have your attorney contact his about the sleeping arrangements. Maybe his "team" will advise him against his sleeping with L.

The November trip is BS, IMHO. Just trying to get you going.

[kalogirl]

[quote=cinderobyn;1890299]If I want to continue to talk to him, I will have to pay for it.

Wants to take the kids to the beach with his mother and sister in November. I said and when they get sick, then what? I have to take them to the dr, pay the bills, and stay home from work? Your decision, he says. You made the choice, now you have to love with it.

Earlier today he asked me again if i wanted to get back with him...off the wall.

When he made the comment that from now on if I wanted to talk to hi it would have to be through lawyers and it would cost me I said thats fine, and click.

then he wants me to meet him closer to where he lives now...which is far. I said no. He complained to me about having to drive 45 mins one way to work, and I said, well I have to drive a ways to work everyday as well. quote]

His ignorance just keeps amazing me. If you want to continue to talk to him, it's going to cost you? What the heck does that mean? He's the idiot that keeps calling you. And meet him closer to where he lives? If he wants to see his children, it's his responsibility to come get them. Not make you drive 45 mins to ease his travel time.

I would really like to know what planet he lives on so I can avoid it at all cost. Planet "I'm IBTJDA, welcome to my world? Whatever....click

[MsV]

Hey, thelostsouls, I like your style of expression ~ had me laughing there!

Robyn, I'm with all the posters before me ~ ib's a jerk...I'm saying it, he and his family are nuts!
Don't talk with him any more. It's actually worth the $ to make the arrangement with your lawyer for small monthly payments, and inform ib that all arrangements will be through your attorney from now on. It will look good in front of a judge that you informed ib that he can run all considerations through an attorney ~ shows that you weren't trying to do anything underhanded, were open about everything...the judge will understand why, when he hears about the non-considered separation agreement, the sleeping arrangements, the commitment attempt, the speaker phone, the burdening the children with ib's emotional problems, the 'lost' clothes, lack of financial support, weekends with no homework, no medical help (other than insurance), all the emotional/verbal abuse from the past 12yrs...etc.
I wish your lawyer would go to court with you - you can speak for yourself, but you need support on that day...could you get ib to pay your court fees? Or could you afford to pay the small monthly payment once you get some child support? Or if you got temporary spousal support, you could apply it to the lawyer's fees if you want. I don't want that idiot to show up with a lawyer and you have to deal with "legalspeak" alone. Just think about it.
L's breakdown is a wonderful sign that she is comfortable enough with you to reveal that she is brokenhearted about the breakup...so were you, even knowing that it was necessary. Your little girl is amazing. I think you should make sure she remembers that she was born of love. She has the rest of her life to realize Daddy never grew up, but at one time, he was just right...a very long time ago.
* If I want to continue to talk to him, I will have to pay for it.
What the HE!! does that mean? Is he threatening you? Get out of there for the weekend, and turn the damn cell phone off. (and don't tell the kids why, this is an adult issue)
* Beach in November? Truthfully that doesn't sound bad at all...problem is he wants to go with a sexual-abuse enabler, and an emotional/verbal abuser and a SIL who will be deceptive with you. We go to sit on the benches at the shore all winter (even look forward to it), bundled up in coats, hats & gloves with hot coffee/chocolate to sip on...it's a great idea. But he is in no position to take them for the weekend, much less to plan a trip away with people who lack good decision-making skills, as well as honesty and ethical standards. Is this the same guy who prohibited you from taking them to see their aunt (your sister)?
* I'm not sure the local police can help yet, because custody issues haven't been decided yet...after that's done, call the police every day, if you need to.
More things to think about...

[kalogirl]

I'm going to quote my J. The man is seriously smoking crack!

[sun]

I wouldn't run to hide from him since you are in the right. Let him just try to come to your door for the kids. Then don't open it and warn him that you are calling the police which you would rather not have to do in front of the kids.
Also, prepare them for the scenario because you don't want Alexander to open the back door to run outside or to get involved in a custody/marital spat in any way. If he arrives, I would not let the kids out of the house without a peace officer present to protect them.
Jim is the deer in the roadway, and he doesn't know what's coming toward him yet... You've got the keys sister Cinderobyn, and there's no need to back down, or reason to drive anywhere to deliver the kids to him. It's your blessed weekend and I'm afraid that he doesn't know the meaning of fair play.

[MsV]

But they are NOT LEGALLY in Robyn's custody yet. That will happen at the custody hearing...I don't think the police can protect Robyn from Jim's taking the kids yet...They are his as much as her's at this point. She could ask the police to get him off her property, or say he's harrassing her, but that's all. I would tell ib you are calling the police if he trespasses, or comes near you, then send the kids to a friend's, so they don't witness anything...but I would not let them go to Jim's AT ALL this weekend. If he can't do it your way, then it doesn't happen ~ keep it that way until a Judge hears the case.

[Pikantari]

This is all so messed up. He has A shut himself in the bathroom last night to talk to him just for a portion of the conversation, so no telling what that was about.

He is playing the blame game for all its worth right now. I left him, its my fault, all of that. He did nothing wrong. He was in my shoes for many years. He was the primary caregiver...whatever.

When I had a seizure he had to be there. I thought he brought himself to a very low point at that time. I have not had a seizure in many years, since 99. Wasn't he supposed to be there for him?

Aren't I still there for him, for his concussion? Just a mess. He says he doesn't even know who my lawyer is, when he has a notebook with it written down.

MsV is right, neither of us have true custody, so I cannot keep them from him...hide them away. As much as I want to. And I think he is going to try and take them from my house while I am not here. I would not put that past him. Of course they would go with him, he is Daddy.

Lawyer told me he would represent me at custody if I wanted him to. Just to let him know. I told him I felt he would have representation and his whole heehaw game there...

The kids are not having a good morning. You know Sleepless in Seatle...

What will I do in Virginia.

He may be able to call someone if I dont let him see them.....I dont know. I dont know anything, ya know, I let him know how I felt, and how I was advised, and he was like, oh you need to go to a lawyer......dont you? ggggrrrr and he doesn't care if the kids get sick!