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Be sure to make a note of him hanging up on her, times and dates, thats just cruel and it shows how childish he is.
And how mentally and emotionally abusive. He is abusing his own children just to satisfy his sick need for control and for trying to hurt you, Robyn. (((SBW!)))
If his manipulation of the children is to be a daily occurance, you may want to consider getting something in place right away, even if on an interim basis. An emergency order or something.
It sounds as if mommy dearest is telling him that he really has you now, since you wouldn't let him see him kids this weekend. When in reality, they were not scheduled to be with him, by his request. And when he changed his mind, you tried to accomodate him, but he was unable to come and get them.
Poor A. I hope you find someone that he can talk to asap. It could not only be the lifeline that he needs now- as he can tell the person anything without worrying about hurting your feelings or FH's feelings, but could be important in the custody matter, as well.
There is a book called something like, "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft. I really know nothing about it, but I've been told it is a very helpful read.
I'm not recommending it, Robyn, because I don't know what's in it. I haven't read it.
There is a book called something like, "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft. I really know nothing about it, but I've been told it is a very helpful read.
I'm not recommending it, Robyn, because I don't know what's in it. I haven't read it.
Has anyone else here read this book?
Strange, that is a question I used to be asked alot by Alexander.
Catching up guys- sorry I have been off this thread a bit Robyn....Your stbx is a manipulator,....and narcissist....anyway he thinks he can push your buttons, he will. I read Melody Beattie's "Co-dependant No More"" it has daily meditations, and she analyzes why people do what they do...it really helped me. Hope this helps.
Catching up guys- sorry I have been off this thread a bit Robyn....Your stbx is a manipulator,....and narcissist....anyway he thinks he can push your buttons, he will. I read Melody Beattie's "Co-dependant No More"" it has daily meditations, and she analyzes why people do what they do...it really helped me. Hope this helps.
Sunny, I have that book, but since moving, no chance to read... I would have to give up CD!
I was reading the beginning of the book and it seemed like it was downing on ME...???
It became important to me to NOT know why someone does what they do, but if it affects me, I had to take myself away from it.
Example: If someone is swinging a baseball bat at my head, do I need to ask them why they are doing it, or get the hell away?
Once I stopped trying to understand everyone, and became more aware of how I felt about things, things got better for me. I had to practice not taking in everything I heard, and not take everything inside of me.
"Change your thoughts, and you can change the world" was one simple truth I didn't want to hear for a very long time. Today, it makes sense for me.
Robyn, it might be time for you to consider cutting him off from the kids until a mental health professional can evaluate his personality disorder- what A went through last night is harassment. Heck, if IB really hung up on L, then she was, in a sense, abused as well.
I think he's losing it. You're getting stronger and he's coming unraveled.
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