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He olny TOLD you that he has a high dollar lawyer. Let him prove it by having her/him represent him!
You are right, I need to get her number. I suppose I dont need to even do that. I can talk to my lawyer and have him call ib. If he is represented, I dont doubt it at this point, living there...they are probably saying, because they are so insane in the membrane....you are in a stable house hold, blah blah blah.
Right.
Now all of a sudden he wants to sign the agreement, after I wont go into mediation. See there are so many angles.
I am not only having to deal with his mind, but his mothers, sisters, and bils.
now his mother, she is just crazy, the sister and bil are actually, well the bil has been through this before...he has primary custody of his son, his sister I used to think had a good head on her shoulders, but really, after the speaker phone incident.
They do things only that worsen his situation.
I have a headache.
also, my lawyer didn't feel the need to represent me in the custody case..... said it would only cost more money for me, and the judge would favor me. uuggghhh
He olny TOLD you that he has a high dollar lawyer. Let him prove it by having her/him represent him!
Ya, I wouldn't believe ANYTHING he says Robyn. He's a liar and a cheat and probably believes it when he lies; most liars do. Good for you - you told him the agreement is no good. Let your lawyers do the talking now. He is in for a rude awakening.
Robyn, are you going to see your attorney before court? It's important that you do.
And I agree- do not engage him at all. He does not need the opportunity to twist things that you say to suit his needs.
Have you decided if/how the kids will see him this weekend? If you decide not to allow the kids to spend the night, I think you need to address it in writing with him- and send it certified mail today so he gets it by friday. If you do so, simply explain that the sleeping arrangements at his current residence are unacceptable. That an eleven year old girl should not be sharing a bed with her father. And address the speaker phone issue- that the environment is potentially uncomfortable to your children since they are not allowed the privacy to speak briefly with their mother in private. Offer to meet him so the kids can spend the day with him but they will need to come home by 8PM or something.
Do not refuse to allow them to visit at this point- just no overnights.
You are right, I need to get her number. I suppose I dont need to even do that. I can talk to my lawyer and have him call ib.
No, you don't have to do anything except tell IB the next time that he calls that you will not be speaking to him again. Period. End of story.
As long as IB has the name of your attorney, there is no action necessary on your part. You need to put the ball in his court and let him take it from there, don't do his work for him.
Robyn, are you going to see your attorney before court? It's important that you do.
And I agree- do not engage him at all. He does not need the opportunity to twist things that you say to suit his needs.
Have you decided if/how the kids will see him this weekend? If you decide not to allow the kids to spend the night, I think you need to address it in writing with him- and send it certified mail today so he gets it by friday. If you do so, simply explain that the sleeping arrangements at his current residence are unacceptable. That an eleven year old girl should not be sharing a bed with her father. And address the speaker phone issue- that the environment is potentially uncomfortable to your children since they are not allowed the privacy to speak briefly with their mother in private. Offer to meet him so the kids can spend the day with him but they will need to come home by 8PM or something.
Do not refuse to allow them to visit at this point- just no overnights.
We have spoken about the speakerphone incident and the not even allowing me to talk to them, he said they talked about it, I said something to him last night about the arrangements, so, a certified letter does sound good to me.... hand written or typed?
Oh, and he will just keep the kids and bring them back the next night, if he does at all, may even have his sister get them out of school and into school there, I put nothing past these people.
Last edited by Pikantari; 10-31-2007 at 04:58 AM..
Reason: addition
Maybe you need to just keep them home this weekend, Robyn. It sounds like things are coming to a head and desperate times call for desperate measures- and with crazy folk, you never know how desperate they can be.
Have you ever talked to the schools about your situation? It might be time since you've expressed some concern once again about this. Although at this point, he would probably be spanked for anything like that........ it's the kids I worry about now- especially L since you are her foundation.
Type that letter- if you want help, let me know. I'm going to DM you my e mail address
Still can't give rep points but Robyn, please do what others have said....."disengage", no more talking to him, it's time for the lawyers to do the talking. You're lawyer can contact him for his lawyers name. As pirate girl said, talk to your lawyer before the court date....no overnight visit this weekend...everything everyone suggested said, ditto
At this point I wouldn't even fight with him - just tell him that you are keeping them this weekend and you'll talk about it all on Nov 7th - IN COURT. Don't worry about it - really.
Just make sure that the school knows that you and he are the only people able to pick them up at school. You can't do anything about that - and I really don't think he'll go to the school - but his mother and sister - heck no!! And if the school releases them to someone not on the list - all holy HECK is gonna fly!
I know you are so worked up about court - try not to be. He doesn't have his own home - he is not gonna get custody. He is freaking right now - let him. The venting is great and you are so lucky to Kalogirl to let you!! I am so glad that you are able to find some perspective about all of this - just think - only 7 more days!!
Make a long list of things that you want to bring up in the court - even if you and he already talked about them - it will be great for others to see him get rattled and he won't be able to hang onto his temper for long!!
This next week is gonna be the toughest for you - he's freaking - you're freaking - but I promise it will be easier for you once you get through the meeting next week! Then you will have some idea of what will go on. The courts will NOT disrupt the children's schooling and the schedules and the life they have with you.
Rather than freaking him out and telling him NO right now - just keep them for you time this weekend and let it go at that!!!!!
Try not to run around in circles - you'll be fine!! In a way - I hope he doesn't show up for court - they'll make the decisions without him there!!!
Oh - and if he has retained a lawyer she will have to file her representation with the courts - that is easy to check - your lawyer will get a copy of that!!!
and since I have been endlessly lecturing you - I AM SORRY!!!!!!
We join Our Robyn mid season. Right now she is preparing for a custody hearing next week for her 13 year old son A and her 11 year old daughter L. She left her husband Sept 1 and moved into a larger, nicer home with their two children and cats (have been called evil monsters by one character – this view has not been corroborated.) Her husband goes by many names here in CD world – TJ, Jim, crazy man, idiot boy and a wealth of other names – most contain profanity so initials are used.
Robyn’s tale begins in CD world with the “Where is the Love” thread that chronicles her struggles with an unhappy marriage to a man that emotionally and verbally abuses her and the children. His family is crazy and one example stands out of mother in law actually trying to have Robyn committed – she was transported to a medical facility in the middle of the night and evaluated. This incidence was a turning point for Our Robyn and provided the much needed wake-up call about the emotional health and welfare of her children.
The story takes the usual twists and turns in a divorce/custody situation with above average idiocy by Jim, exemplary patience and kindness by Robyn and L & A provide true angst, affection and love to both parents. We cheer and lecture as Robyn struggles to find her way through the maze of emotion and tries to do what is best for everyone – most of all the children. We watch her unfold from a frightened, beaten down woman to a strong, capable lioness who puts the hearts of her children ahead of her own.
Robyn is fueled by coffee and determination to be happy and not bitter and we all fall in love with the family that lives in The House of Chimes. Stay tuned and join in!!
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