It is a new day, today. I wake, and I am not afraid, I have no hesitation upon my being.
I am surrounded with boses, here in the living room, my bedroom, now, which seems like it has been an eternity.
It is still early yet, in the day. I have a way to go, before the goings on will begin. But I am awake! I am alive! The shakles and chains are gone...I am free!!!
The House of Chimes sits on the corner, waiting for the kids and I...opening its arms to us. Everytime I go there, there is a warm and inviting feel about it. It is my home. I can feel it in my soul, in my very being. In my heart.
My kids are happy there. They had their first 'official' friend over last night... This little girl has never been to this house....the house of shackles and chains. They all hugged eachother godbye as we left. It was a wonderful sight... They will see eachother all the time now.
C and I were in the kitchen for the most time talking, as I can imagine in the future, that we will be doing, and we could hear Alexander grossing the girls out with his boy gross out stories. The girls running down the stairs to tell us about it.
I am so happy, one would not believe. I have nothing, yet I have everything. My life, my world has changed drastically.
I am no longer where is the love. His control and power is gone. He can say whatever he wants...I let it ride. He cannot hurt me anymore. I have grown from that.
I am anew. I do not cry as I type this, I smile, so early here in the morning. I am not holding my head, as I would often do, mid sentence. I am happy. All of you, I have to thank....with you, above everything in this earthly world, you all know, the Lord. With Him I can do anything, Without Him, nothing.
It is true. I have no money. I am blessed to have a job. I will not call it wonderful..but I have friends there, and I like the people I work with, I love my patients.
I worried over having at least a refridgerator and stove....I was given them both, for free. I have learned from this board, there are good people in this world. Here, and outside of here. Now, I may start crying.
Sometimes when you think it could not get any worse....the sun, it shines through the clouds, and He comes to you.
There were many rough days, so so many. But here I am. I overcame them. I really did it. The day is here.
Before my realization, all of the good was wrapped up inside of me, not to say I wasn't god, or that others weren't good. BUT. I wasn't really allowed to fellowship, to worship. It was when I started feeling better and walking that He came to me. I knew then, I was taking my life back for the kids and myself. I got back into the church and it felt so good. it was what I needed.
I walked with the Lord each and every day...on my walks, enjoying His natures Magesty.
He has brought me through, you guys have brought me through, with your testimonies, your encouragement, and even your kicks in the butt! No one wants a kick in the butt, but sometimes, I guess you need them.
My 5:05 alarm just went off. It must be time to get up...
I have felt the change in myself, day by day. You have seen it, in my words. It is a wonderful thing, and the day has come. The day of the House of Chimes.
The kitchen and bathroom are...'vintage'
LOL But I love them...they are so cool!
I took a close look the other day at the kitchen sink...and there was a brand name on the metal cabinetry just underthe sink, right in the middle, so small, you could hardly notice, and I don't know why i was stooping down to be able to see it.
There was an oval, and inside the oval, the name Shirley. I suppose it was the brand. I dont know.
That name has very much meaning to me, it is , it was my mothers name. I know she is with me always, I know that. but when I saw that...i felt like it meant something....like yep....this is where I am supposed to be.
Of course, it is a rental, and when you talk to a financial person, you waste your money renting, because it is not an investment towards ownership...well guess waht? I can't do ownership right now. I am completely thrilled with the House of Chimes... for now, it is our home..... I am gonna find a hat rack, preferrably an older one, to hang up my Dads cowboy hat on...
He is with me as well.
Not only is it the dawn of a whole new day, but a whloe new life. To see those kids, heck, just to hear their lafter throughout that house, it was like music to my ears.
They have to keep it down here...shhh... Don't do that...lucky daddy isn't here. No more of that. Don't get me wrong. My kids are respectable, and disciplined. They will stay that way, I am not gonna let them run like crazy people, LOL...maybe for a few days...I have to keep authority over them, espescially since it is just me.
I have talked to them about this already. They know me as the protector. I have told them that they need to behave as best they can, because it will only be the three of us. We all need to act appropriately, as we know we should, and things will be fine. They will have to listen to me, etc...
They know that, they are good kids.
Alexander said to me...Mommy, I am glad we got a stove, cuz I have to eat!
Got that right! That boy must be 6 feet high, and I dont know if he will ever stop growing.
My journey here ends...the journey in the house of shackles and chains.
My journey in the House of Chimes, today, officially begins, and what a wonderful feeling it is. I will go back to sleep now, there is a big day ahead of me, and a lot to be done.
I will need coffee... You all are the very best there are....even you guys...
the ones who have followed this thread...and have jumped out all of a sudden to give me well wishes..i thank you...
I thank you all...
This is not the end, but only...
The very beginning...