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Old 01-07-2012, 11:00 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,837 posts, read 56,154,370 times
Reputation: 37861

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
I thought twice and even thrice before typing up "promoting a warped concept" a few posts back. But I am glad I made the right call.

Some of those are regular diseases. I'll stand by my future wife forever, even if it bankrupts both of us.

But STD's. They don't drop from the sky (barring a weird transfusion fracas). They clearly mean one of us was not loyal and the marriage is a failure.

I'm simply amazed you are comparing regular diseases with diseases which are invited owing to breach of loyalty. Well, not really amazed. Not grown up enough. I'll find my growing up for dummies off Amazon. I doubt I'll ever grasp the concept.

And in case you missed the memo, if wife has diabetes, husband does not get it after sex
I see.

So it's really all about you.

As long as whatever disease your beloved contracts isn't CONTAGIOUS, you'll hang with them

Well, that's your choice.

But please stop insisting that ALL people who get HIV or any other sexually transmitted disease as an adult are somehow "unclean" and promiscuous - you are just making yourself look really stupid - and I hate that for you.
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Old 01-07-2012, 11:02 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,837 posts, read 56,154,370 times
Reputation: 37861
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
Antlered,

I don't think that people have an issue with the fact that you would be concerned (at least, I hope not). It's the stereotyping that gets under people's skin.

An educated person can contract an STD. And just because you contract an STD does not mean that you are sleeping around.

Your partner may have had it and did not tell you.

Or, he may not have known that he had it and gave it to you.


There are many ways that good people could contract an STD.

THANK YOU.

This is exactly what many of us have been trying to say.
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Old 01-07-2012, 11:06 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 14,212,808 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I see.

So it's really all about you.

As long as whatever disease your beloved contracts isn't CONTAGIOUS, you'll hang with them

Well, that's your choice.

But please stop insisting that ALL people who get HIV or any other sexually transmitted disease as an adult are somehow "unclean" and promiscuous - you are just making yourself look really stupid - and I hate that for you.
No way. I have a strong personality with strong opinions. That makes me the most reliable person when someone is coming to me for advice. I tell them things which others don't have the guts to tell them or do simply mislead them with a disjoint sense of tolerance.

OP may come back, read the whole exchange and give a serious thought as to how to approach the matter, given that his health and well-being is in line. May we all wish him the best possible decision to take.

I'm not the "Honey, it's gonnabe okay, so let's all sing John Lennon's Imagine" type
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Old 01-08-2012, 02:15 AM
 
10,464 posts, read 7,370,856 times
Reputation: 15503
It's definitely worth a second thought. If it were just a fling and someone you were going to "try on," I would pass. However, if you really love this person, there are precautions you can take that were mentioned in previous posts.

STDs can be contracted in one encounter. Those who think it's only a disease of the promiscuous are more likely to contract and transmit due to ignorance. This was the problem with the HIV/AIDS epidemic at one time. Education was lacking and people thought it was a "gay" disease; It simply wasn't true and the disease spread like wildfire through the hetero community who thought they were immune.

OP - the fact that you are thinking about it shows that you care for this person. Talk to them and be open about your concerns. They have probably dealt with it before.
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Old 01-08-2012, 02:23 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
14,452 posts, read 12,726,549 times
Reputation: 13245
The problem I see, is that .. if you don't know this person too well, you're making a life altering decision for a person you are not 100% sure with. Would you advise someone to marry another person they have only known for a short period of time? If you contract this disease, your life is now changed forever, so unless you're looking to make a life long commitment to this person, I'd probably steer clear. Don't make a decision like this in the heat of the moment. Take things very slow, and think long and hard.
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Old 01-08-2012, 07:14 AM
 
8,394 posts, read 7,266,435 times
Reputation: 8958
I agree w/ spinx & burgler09, Some of you other posters are going to far, seems too heated, too many scenarios.

This OP "cares" about the person, and is deciding whether he wants to even continue to have, to invest further, in an emotional, and/or sexual relationship, after she disclosed her diagnosis.

Do you people that are berating another poster, even know if this OP is of age.

I don't encourage anyone to make a life and possibly "health" changing decision w/out educating and protecting the REST of their lives. There are young folks reading everything we write on these threads.

Less personalizing and attacking others opinions should be the "norm" I see far too many posters that keep posting and arguing in threads....Opinions are opinions....

Personally, if I had an STD, serious enough that I hadn't cured it w/ antibiotics, and had to disclose it, I would not be involving myself w someone until they knew, not fair to be in ANY type relationship that possibly involves sex, emotional feelings, or long term commitment w/out disclosing an STD. I wouldn't want to be responsible for someone else in that way.

And comparing sexually transmitted diseases to other non- sexually transmitted diseases is ludicrous. Apples and Oranges....There are two different issues in that subject.

Last edited by JanND; 01-08-2012 at 07:20 AM.. Reason: sentence
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Old 01-08-2012, 07:35 AM
 
1,611 posts, read 901,672 times
Reputation: 3916
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
THANK YOU.

This is exactly what many of us have been trying to say.

No, that's a part of you what some of you have been trying to say. Many posters here have the "If I love them, it's no big deal" outlook. That may be fine for some of you, but for Antlered, it would be a deal-breaker. The only issue that I have with his approach is the thinking that a person is somehow low-class or uneducated because they contracted an STD.
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Old 01-08-2012, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
14,452 posts, read 12,726,549 times
Reputation: 13245
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
The only issue that I have with his approach is the thinking that a person is somehow low-class or uneducated because they contracted an STD.

I think that was everybody's problem with him..
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Old 01-08-2012, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 14,212,808 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
No, that's a part of you what some of you have been trying to say. Many posters here have the "If I love them, it's no big deal" outlook. That may be fine for some of you, but for Antlered, it would be a deal-breaker. The only issue that I have with his approach is the thinking that a person is somehow low-class or uneducated because they contracted an STD.
I'm not saying that without weighted thought. Let's explore that for argument's sake. This has nothing to do with misconception or misunderstanding. It's a difference between vigilance and stupidity. Between being careful and being careless. Mixing love and trust in this episode reeks of naivete. It's only a transparent overview of the fool's paradise some people live in, even educated ones. Ones with paper degrees and some alphabets behind their names.

That brings us to the age old debate - mustering a few alphabets through college and a framed certificate with a seal is NOT a guarantor for education and learning - in terms of how much the concepts have been assimilated into the brains, question of application in day to day life. That to me, is still a lack of education - educated illiterates (a breed which is fast becoming the world's majority )

All through teens, schools do some major social service. Sex education is a top priority - from the banana condoms exercises to reproductive system biology and the various forms of venereal diseases. We're assuming people paid attention.

My Biology teacher opened a huge chart and showed a penis infected with syphilis and a vagina infected with Gonorrhea. The man as a teacher did his job - "You do not ever get this or come within 10 feet of such a body part", the rest of your life will not be the same again. Of course, he was issuing a warning, he is teaching kids to practice caution about what is out there.

That takes a hold on the educated mind. It tells itself, I'll either practice abstinence or use protection, and even when I'm using protection, I'll make sure enough background check has been made to know the other person and his/her character.

Why?

1. Health is wealth.
2. I'm not putting my well-being on the line. More than love, wife, the world, my dog, the most important function is to keep me in proper functioning condition.
3. I'm not taking a trip to the doctor. Despite insurance and coverage, it still does cut into my finances. And provides sufficient mental aggravation.
4. The doctor is not my best friend.
5. I have been taught from age 3, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, whether it's true or not, it's instilled that preventing the doctor with pest control is the best approach available on the planet.
6. Age old proverb, prevention is better than cure.

This knowledge is applied on the real world, when the educated mind easily infers that the myth of Florence Nightingale starts and ends in the book which describes her, or even if real, is confined to the perimeters of British healthcare. That the doctor-wallet relationship is strictly one way and not even the inanimate wallet loves the doctor back.

Then the educated mind understands the effects of excessive alcohol and what it does to human vulnerability in terms of ending in bed with a random stranger, whom no man or woman would want to sleep with, when sober. Casual sex is not even worth it. If people applied their education, they will not desperately get into bed with someone, they will have learned to control their vulnerability and pick the right person to have sex with. The educated mind will be careful about NSA's, hook-ups, FWB's - it's not rocket science to infer that if a person is offering NSA, you are not the first person the NSA is being offered to, and think of the one million hidden diseases lying inside the other person. Basic personal reproductive system's safety methodology all schools taught you for ages and ages.

But of course, I'm not really sure what magic kool-aid everyone else here is drinking. Just let me know and I'll probably avoid that aisle LOL. How about all those prevent STD's in illiterate Africa fracas, while it's okay to overlook it in the name of love. Perhaps we need to bring Bono and Sean Penn back here and do some local social service.

The same tolerant people are not so forgiving when even the slightest sex scandal hits people in public life - Anthony Weiner, John Edwards, Elliot Spitzer, Mark Sanford etc., yet there's a very high level of tolerance in other aspects... or did some people come out of hiding from Middle Earth Am I missing something here?

Begs me to wonder - do people really pay attention in school? Apply what they learned in every day life? Did they learn at all?
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Old 01-08-2012, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 14,212,808 times
Reputation: 11309
I was also reading this other thread on here.

What if the dude you meet and flirt with on e-harmony or match.com or whatever happens to be this bugger:
Alleged HIV-spreader 'is a predator' | WOOD TV8

One of the women describes him - "charming". And he sends a text message to another woman before turning himself in that he "always loves her"

That's very romantic.

If one is not diligent, not careful when information is presented, there's absolutely no question of "caring" for someone or not. Hit the exit chute. Works like a charm. The OP is lucky the woman or man was honest to admit prior. Buy him/her a big goodbye cake, a 20$ iTunes gift card and disappear.
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