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Directed towards the OP..
I mentioned not to long ago that I was in a long distance relationship and it was "working"
While we dated for 4 months and saw each other every other weekend and I had no issue with it ultimately it became an issue for him...
We were on point with everything, communication and ect..but there was 2 weekends that my ex could not get my son and this upset him..I stated to him that he knew I was a single mother and regardless I was mom first..
We ended things amicably, there was no blowout, no big fight just him stating that he needed more and I understood..
We have remained friends and he still texts me from time to time to state that he misses me and my smile..amoung other things..
It can work however I think that 2 people really need to understand the others commitment, where they are as far as how fast they want the relationship to progress, how long they are willing to wait and make a projection...
I can honestly say as great as he was and how I can value him still as a person he had his limits, different needs and so forth and it is what it is..
I am happy to report I m with someone local, makes me happy and he is but 5 minutes away from me...meaning we both work..we both have kids..but if we need to be with one another a 5 minute drive is alot easier than a 3 hour drive..
People can definitely do long distance relationships, and don't let people tell you otherwise. But you need a short term goal of one person or the other moving to the same place. If there are no plans for relocation then it is useless.
Agreed! I'm in a LDR & she's coming down soon well in a couple of months anyhow. It takes a LOT of work and trust one could make themselves crazy very easy. If you don't think you can trust said person 100% then don't bother with a LDR.
When I think of a relationship working, I see it leading to an increase in the amount of time of interaction, romance, maybe co-habitation or marriage. Two people growing together, and bringing their lives together.
In that light, I do not think an LDR can "work" indefinately. It can work for a period of time, but at a certain point the relationship has stalled because the parties are seperated too much, and the relationship can no longer progress.
So they can work to a point, but eventually, the couple needs to figure out how to be together, or be willing to move on.
Of course, that is just my own opinion based on my own experience.
I'm in an LDR myself (she is in Japan and I'm in Italy), so I do believe it can work. It has been working for one year, and only one year to go until I can possibly move back to Japan (I'm in the military). We are on the same page with taking the next steps to have a future together.
My only concern is not knowing her like I think I do. Whenever we visit each other, twice a year for 2 weeks at a time, its like a honeymoon.
My only concern is not knowing her like I think I do. Whenever we visit each other, twice a year for 2 weeks at a time, its like a honeymoon.
Depending on how your communication is, you may know more about her than a lot of couples who can see themselves frequently. One negative to close distance relationships is people can get carried away with lust and infatuation, and instead of really getting to know someone (and I mean, who they are, what they like, what makes them tick), they hook up with them but never really get to know them.
You two are likely asking each other all kinds of questions, giving answers, really getting to know each other since communication is the focal point of the relationship.
My best relationship was at a distance for a long time, and conducted via email, phone, etc. I am engaged to that woman now, and over the time we were not together (over a year) I got to know more about her than anyone I had ever known before.
Not that I think an LDR is ideal, but there can be advantages to them if you take advantage of it. I am sure you are.
When I think of a relationship working, I see it leading to an increase in the amount of time of interaction, romance, maybe co-habitation or marriage. Two people growing together, and bringing their lives together.
In that light, I do not think an LDR can "work" indefinately. It can work for a period of time, but at a certain point the relationship has stalled because the parties are seperated too much, and the relationship can no longer progress.
So they can work to a point, but eventually, the couple needs to figure out how to be together, or be willing to move on.
Of course, that is just my own opinion based on my own experience.
What I mean by work is keeping in touch with each other and letting them know that you still love them & want to be with them. The list goes on.
What I mean by work is keeping in touch with each other and letting them know that you still love them & want to be with them. The list goes on.
Thanks for defining. In my experience, it will work for a period of time. I cannot define the length, and it probably depends on the individuals. Eventially, I think one or both will want more than the LDR will offer and that is when the LDR will no longer work on it's own.
Thanks for defining. In my experience, it will work for a period of time. I cannot define the length, and it probably depends on the individuals. Eventially, I think one or both will want more than the LDR will offer and that is when the LDR will no longer work on it's own.
It's not for everyone that's for sure. That's a real fear and something one of us might have to face at some point. It's like religion to some extent you have to have faith. All I can do is stay postive and hope things work out for the best.
I believe most ldr's are a distraction. Relationships need ongoing, daily attention.
I agree with this....The blind faith that one needs for a ldr is almost always betrayed....and I personally feel it's not worth the risk...nor the loneliness.
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