Is it my fault? (wife, married, men, love)

[Daisy7]

A little information to help: I am married, my husband works full time I go to school full time, take care of things with the finances and daily needs around the home.. I brought it to my husbands attention that our budget just seemed to be getting tighter and wanted to take up a part time job while in school..he agreed that it was ok only if i wanted to.. So I had an interview and today was the day I was supposed to go register my w2 information and find out when my first day of work was.. this morning however was also my first day of school, needless to say this semester I am totally swamped with Homework, exams and have to learn every muscle and bone of the human body.. for some of you that may sound easy but for me I am in a panic!!!!

So after doing my research today i decided i wouldn't take a part time job and add that to everything else going on in my life.. but for some reason i don't want to tell my husband about this I feel like such a failure, such a bum and worthless.. partly because he told me i was worthless last night and threw a book at me.. I just don't understand it I do everything for him that he needs..

I cook for him, I clean for him, I wash his clothes, I help organize his vehicle, and get him ready for work with his lunch and things.. I even everyday write him a letter and stick it in his bag so that when he is at work he can read it.. I EVEN PUT UP WITH HIS MOTHER THE PAST WEEK, telling me what a troublemaker I am and what a bit*h I am all because I was excited and happy about me going to church now I had mentioned it in one of my daily posts and it seemed to set her off, so for the past 4 days shes been going back and forth with me through messages.. until I finally told her look.. my life is mine yours is yours if you can't love and accept me then fine.. but I never say anything to you about how you live your life... especially your bar hopping weekends and your dope smoking weeks and the fact that she cheats on my father in law.. NEVER ONCE DID I SAY ANYTHING TO HER ABOUT IT BUT SHE SURE CAN JUMP ON ME FOR GOING TO CHURCH... WOW!!!

Maybe I should give up school and just go to work full time

HELP!???

[Cindy_Jole]

Originally Posted by Daisy7

partly because he told me i was worthless last night and threw a book at me.. I just don't understand it I do everything for him that he needs..

Don't give up school or your job. You should get out of this abusive situation before it's too late. At least with education and work, you will have other options and you're not forced to depend on him while he assaults you. If the workload is still too heavy then perhaps find a different job or consider student loans. Good luck.

[srjth]

Do you have kids?

[Dewdrop93]

He told you that you were worthless and threw a book at you? I'm sorry - but why are you still there? There is absolutely no reason for someone to treat another human being - much less your spouse - like that. Stand up for yourself - you do not deserve to be verbally abused and have something thrown at you.

[Daisy7]

Originally Posted by srjth

Do you have kids?

No I do not.

[DRGirl]

You are being abused by both your husband and his mother. Stay in school and try to get a part-time job and look for a place to live. He already threw a book at you, don't wait to find out what he is going to hit you with next. Sorry you are in this situation.

[srjth]

Originally Posted by Daisy7

No I do not.

I recommend going to school part time and working part time. Even single students have to do that or more. It doesn't seem like he approves otherwise. I'm sorry you're going thru this. Most men these days don't want a stay at home wife. You need to educate yourself though so stay in school.

[RowingMunkeyCU]

Tell your husband to quit being an ass.

But in all seriousness, you sound like you're doing everything right. What are you going to school for, and how many years do you have left? Were you and your husband already together when you started attending school?

Have you sat down together and worked out a budget on paper, including all expenditures, regardless of how small?

On another note, it sounds like your husband is emotionally and physically abusive. You may want to start seeking a way out, whether it be moving in with family or a shelter of some flavor.

[sunshineleith]

I am still trying to pick my jaw up off the floor after reading the part about him throwing a book at you and calling you worthless.

Finish your schoolling so you can get a decent job and be able to support yourself.

[MariaKintobor]

Just look at the title of your thread.

This sorry bastard has you questioning if going to school full time while you clean up after him and be his physical and verbal punching bag is enough!

It is beasts like him that I would like to string up from the nearest tree!

Leave his worthless ass. See how he likes having to work full time and take care of his own needs.

He can't do it because I would bet my bottom dollar that he is a mommas boy and always had her do it for him!

You deserve so much better!

Get out as soon as you can!