If the ex boy or girl friends of a new lover were unimpressive would that impact your relationship?

[Mathguy]

Originally Posted by Workaholic?

Back when I was single I would meet a new woman and fall for her and think she was nearly perfect UNTIL I met her old boy friends. If the ex boy friends or lovers were ugly or nerds or mean or just plain boring I would start to doubt my girl friend. I would wonder what she would have seen in him. I always judge people on who their friends are. If there ex's were bad, then maybe she is bad too.

Can you relate?

*shrug* there can be a million reasons for things like this.

I met a sweet gal once whose ex got involved in drugs later in life, not her fault.

Maybe she started dating a guy at a young age when he played in a band and lived with his folks...and when you meet him 10 years later and he's still in that place and it's less socially acceptable at that age are you judging him based upon the now or the then?

We also make mistakes. I've dated a gal or two that turned out not to be right for me...am I judged for dating them and it not working out? That would make me question your thought processes if it did.

[Slanderous]

Originally Posted by Workaholic?

Wouldn't you wonder why they chose such bad people and wonder if his/her standards were low?

I might wonder and if the guy is really bad (like drug addict, in jail, etc.) I might ask why she was with him. Even then she chose me (and I'm pretty awesome) and I must have had good reasons to choose her.

People grow up, reexamine their lives, preferences, etc. and learn from mistakes. There have been countless posts on here complaining about girls going for bad boys, jerks and whatever else. If we're going to complain about this, we should at least acknowledge when people are willing to see their flaws and try something new.

My girlfriend and I both have had "meh" exes we dated for over a year. I won't judge her for past mistakes that she doesn't make anymore and I trust her not to judge me for my mistakes.