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Old 01-15-2012, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Hilo, HI
217 posts, read 228,689 times
Reputation: 191

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I moved to a place that is really hard to date. I met a guy online for a date after we spoke on the phone for a long time (I usually don't do more than a 15 minute phone call but we had a great conversation). The date itself went really well, we had kissed, and we wanted to continue the date. I was stupid and we went to watch a movie had his house. I really thought I would have enough self control not to have sex but we did. Regardless of him and I even dating again, it was probably the best sex that I have ever had in my life.

Because it was during the week (I have to be at my job at 7AM), I left when he fell asleep. Before he fell asleep he said I could spend the night or if I had to leave that he would walk me outside. I felt bad when he fell asleep so I just left.

The next day he messaged me asking why I left and everything and I told him. I was hoping to see him this weekend but he never called. I would have called him but he right now only uses some online program to talk while he waits for his replacement phone to arrive (his phone got damaged in the rain on our date).

Our date was on Thursday night. I'm really sad about this. We both somehow bonded by being together in a small town where dating is difficult, and we both admitted to being lonely with no friends here.

Whether we just have sex again, or actually date again with sex, I just want to see him again I enjoyed the date, our conversations, and the sex.

 
Old 01-15-2012, 05:26 PM
 
337 posts, read 269,752 times
Reputation: 324
Don't despair. Do you have a particular question?
 
Old 01-15-2012, 05:28 PM
 
Location: Hilo, HI
217 posts, read 228,689 times
Reputation: 191
Nope
 
Old 01-15-2012, 05:36 PM
 
1,964 posts, read 2,343,418 times
Reputation: 1863
Two of my serious relationships started off with sex on the first date. I dont think its that big of a deal. Just dont go crazy/obsessive on him because of it- I think thats where the problems tend to arise. I would wait for him to contact you first and if you two end up continuing to talk, act semi-uninterested in him. If he never calls you again, just let it go. Easy come, easy go, right?
 
Old 01-15-2012, 05:38 PM
 
Location: TX
5,926 posts, read 2,331,063 times
Reputation: 2557
Quote:
Originally Posted by MMoon17 View Post
The next day he messaged me asking why I left and everything and I told him. I was hoping to see him this weekend but he never called. I would have called him but he right now only uses some online program to talk...
What did he say after you told him why you left? How did that conversation end?

Assuming that's the last you heard from him altogether (the message on Friday), I'd start bracing myself for a disappointment if I were you. By all means, don't just assume the worst; there may be a good explanation. But try and be ready for bad news (or no news at all).

No, it isn't especially wise to have sex on a first date. But what matters more now is that your expectations do not differ immensely with what actually happens. So try and keep your feet on the ground, but don't lose hope just because you made a mistake in the beginning. It's never too late to start taking it slow in a relationship, if that is indeed what you will have.

As far as a casual sex-only relationship, I don't ever advise that for anyone. But at least be SURE you're not kidding yourself, that you don't really want something more...
 
Old 01-15-2012, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Hilo, HI
217 posts, read 228,689 times
Reputation: 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
What did he say after you told him why you left? How did that conversation end?

Assuming that's the last you heard from him altogether (the message on Friday), I'd start bracing myself for a disappointment if I were you. By all means, don't just assume the worst; there may be a good explanation. But try and be ready for bad news (or no news at all).

No, it isn't especially wise to have sex on a first date. But what matters more now is that your expectations do not differ immensely with what actually happens. So try and keep your feet on the ground, but don't lose hope just because you made a mistake in the beginning. It's never too late to start taking it slow in a relationship, if that is indeed what you will have.

As far as a casual sex-only relationship, I don't ever advise that for anyone. But at least be SURE you're not kidding yourself, that you don't really want something more...

I told him that he was asleep and that I didn't want to wake him up. That was the only reason.
 
Old 01-15-2012, 05:44 PM
 
1,744 posts, read 1,338,856 times
Reputation: 1584
What's the problem? just keep seeing the guy. take the initiative and call him, invite him over for dinner. I mean u've boned eachother so the ice is broken, so you can skip the games and be comfortable with eachother, That should be a plus if anything.
 
Old 01-15-2012, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Eternal State of Confusion
7,290 posts, read 8,490,479 times
Reputation: 9422
Sounds like how my husband and I started off.
 
Old 01-15-2012, 05:49 PM
 
4,540 posts, read 2,382,944 times
Reputation: 1898
Well let us know how the next date goes, there really is nothing wrong with sex on a first date or even admiting your lonely, it sounds like he did not take advantage of you and wants to see you again. I think some people play too many games and make too much of the whole dating thing.

There is nothing wrong with what you did, you took a chance and it sounds like it will pay off.
 
Old 01-15-2012, 05:52 PM
 
Location: TX
5,926 posts, read 2,331,063 times
Reputation: 2557
Quote:
Originally Posted by MMoon17 View Post
I told him that he was asleep and that I didn't want to wake him up. That was the only reason.
Ok, well I was asking what else was said (what he said, what you said, and how the conversation ended) because that'll help us all understand a little better. If he seemed like he wasn't all that interested in talking, and you haven't heard from him since, that's kindof a bad sign. And it's POSSIBLE you could rekindle something by telling him you're "ok" with a sex-only relationship (whether you tell him "for a while" or "indefinitely"), but in the long run, your own values will determine whether this will help or hurt you. So be true to them first; put your values over any relationship with any man and you can't go wrong.
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