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You know your going to get a lot of flack here with the "You know your dating a married man" thing. Your not. She has a new man and I wouldn't even worry about it unless you plan on marrying him next month.
In reality there are people who split up years ago that never bothered getting a divorce. I dated a woman who had not seen her non official ex in 8 years. I really didn't give a hoot, even though she was worried about telling me.
That's not the point. His first presentation to her was that he WAS divorced, a huge lie. It all started on a false premise. This is a common setup.
And as far as his wife (yes, his wife) having a new man....says who? Him, the one who LIED? And now there are "issues" with the divorce?
This is such a common scenario....and the OP will be the one end up getting the short end of the stick.
He probably didn't want to lie to you. He did it so that you would actually give him the time of day. Without you knowing more about him and his position in life you may have gotten cold feet and walked. I really dont think his "lie" was meant to be deceitful in any way shape or form. In fact, it really sounds like it wasn't deceitful at all because he is basically divorced. To him, its over, and thats all that should matter to you.
That's not the point. His first presentation to her was that he WAS divorced, a huge lie. It all started on a false premise. This is a common setup.
And as far as his wife (yes, his wife) having a new man....says who? Him, the one who LIED? And now there are "issues" with the divorce?
This is such a common scenario....and the OP will be the one end up getting the short end of the stick.
Not so sure about her getting the short end of the stick given her track record with dumping people like dirty undies. Whats to stop her from dumping this guy if she runs into say a bus conductor or pilot
Maybe, but (and I'll probably be screamed at for this) I would've...if someone is seriously separated and moving towards divorce, I don't see a problem with seeing them. It just pisses me off that he lied, and most importantly, he doesn't consider that a big thing to lie about.
Maybe he was having a difficult time meeting women while saying he is in the process of getting a divorce or had the fear of you not believing him when you first met.
By him saying he was in process of getting divorced, it could of started the relationship on the wrong foot or you not want to get to know him at all.
It's such a small technicality, he is separated and in the process of getting a divorce.
It shouldn't be that big of a deal but I can see where it can take away from you trusting of him a little.
That's not the point. His first presentation to her was that he WAS divorced, a huge lie. It all started on a false premise. This is a common setup.
And as far as his wife (yes, his wife) having a new man....says who? Him, the one who LIED? And now there are "issues" with the divorce?
This is such a common scenario....and the OP will be the one end up getting the short end of the stick.
Maybe to you it's a huge lie, but, in this day and age with Gay Marriage, SOs with no marriage, and government and religous interjection into what is marriage is supposed to be I would not pass judgement on her situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Percentage
Not so sure about her getting the short end of the stick given her track record with dumping people like dirty undies. Whats to stop her from dumping this guy if she runs into say a bus conductor or pilot
That’s her prerogative. She’s a single attractive woman who is free to meet, greet, befriend anyone she wants. If she picked up and dropped 12 guys a year it is still her choice.
That's not the point. His first presentation to her was that he WAS divorced, a huge lie. It all started on a false premise. This is a common setup.
And as far as his wife (yes, his wife) having a new man....says who? Him, the one who LIED? And now there are "issues" with the divorce?
This is such a common scenario....and the OP will be the one end up getting the short end of the stick.
picking nits - huge lie? almost divorced, divorced, separated, not working on the marriage. It's not exactly the situation, but it would be close enough for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun
Maybe to you it's a huge lie, but, in this day and age with Gay Marriage, SOs with no marriage, and government and religous interjection into what is marriage is supposed to be I would not pass judgement on her situation.
That’s her prerogative. She’s a single attractive woman who is free to meet, greet, befriend anyone she wants. If she picked up and dropped 12 guys a year it is still her choice.
I met and started dating my current DH of 17 years while I was in the middle of a divorce and he was barely beyond his. I did not peruse his divorce papers but I did ask to see them (to see that the divorce was final) and vice versa.....that is, when it was appropriate (not the first date). I was pretty darn happy when my divorce became final so not much proof beyond that was probably necessary .
I don't think it's a bad thing, overall, to date someone who is separated. Perhaps the guy was afraid you wouldn't date him if you knew his status of not exactly divorced. However, not a great excuse for lying either. I wouldn't outright dump him but I would start asking more questions; if you intend to keep seeing him anyway. Good luck.
Not so sure about her getting the short end of the stick given her track record with dumping people like dirty undies. Whats to stop her from dumping this guy if she runs into say a bus conductor or pilot
He probably didn't want to lie to you. He did it so that you would actually give him the time of day. Without you knowing more about him and his position in life you may have gotten cold feet and walked. I really dont think his "lie" was meant to be deceitful in any way shape or form. In fact, it really sounds like it wasn't deceitful at all because he is basically divorced. To him, its over, and thats all that should matter to you.
A lie is a lie, a lie, a lie. Who can trust a liar? He should have told the truth and let her decide whether she wanted to date.
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Whats to stop her from dumping this guy if she runs into say a bus conductor or pilot 
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