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Old 01-17-2012, 04:53 PM
 
Location: Brazil
234 posts, read 348,405 times
Reputation: 135

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I mean you are dating a person to GET TO KNOW them right.
To see if you become friends get to know one another and see where it goes from there.
From there you date some more. And ask serious question to see if this goes to another level step being boyfriend and girlfriends so you ask about what that person what out of life, wants kids or not, what they want out of life financially, religion if the person is spiritual or not blah blah then comes up the sex question what the person want and don't want in a sex life...WOW...

The guys is like YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX with a person so you know if he is good or not in bed. WHAT?

So will I have to have sex with like 30 guys till I find the right one come on.

When you love someone you talk about things and you come to an agreement what you want out of a sex life.

I mean that is why you talk about sex. To see what the other person want and don´t want.

From there if you really like the person you come with an agreement and etc.


PS I am pro sex after marriage...I am one of those sick people that believe in LOVE first then marriage then sex...yeah CRAZY I know.
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Old 01-17-2012, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,400 posts, read 7,998,311 times
Reputation: 6070
I mean it just kind of goes hand-in-hand. Like, I wouldn't know if a person is a good driver if I haven't seen them drive.

It doesn't mean you have to sleep with the whole town. But I'd definitely like to have sex with a potential wife before marrying her. I'd get to know her first and all of that before doing so, but I wouldn't wait till marriage.
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Old 01-17-2012, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
527 posts, read 475,939 times
Reputation: 539
You are who you are and you shouldn't change that for anybody. The right guy will respect your values and wait until you are ready. Unfurtunately, sometimes you have to kiss A LOT of frogs before you find your prince, but HELL NO you don'tt have to sleep with all of those smelly, stinky frogs, lol. Hang in there. You'll find your guy.

P.S. I respect your opinion/decision, but I believe people should have sex before getting married. Physical chemistry is very important in a relationship, so I'd want to know if my man and I are compartible in that aspect before getting married.
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Old 01-17-2012, 05:06 PM
 
8,702 posts, read 12,522,962 times
Reputation: 6160
This is a shibboleth that guys have used for centuries to get laid before marriage.

What matters is "sexual attraction" not sexual proficiency. One can certainly tell if there is attration without testing out the equipment. Experienced guys being honest will say that any girl who really wants to do it with you will be good. True, a few skilled girls with no real desire, just boredom, revenge, manipulation or whatnot will also be good in bed. But an enthusiastic novice is 10 times better than an uncommitted pro.

Trust me on this. If I said how many women I have been with, I'd have to change my User Name.
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Old 01-17-2012, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Webster Groves, MO
1,080 posts, read 946,187 times
Reputation: 844
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilson513 View Post
This is a shibboleth that guys have used for centuries to get laid before marriage.

What matters is "sexual attraction" not sexual proficiency. One can certainly tell if there is attration without testing out the equipment. Experienced guys being honest will say that any girl who really wants to do it with you will be good. True, a few skilled girls with no real desire, just boredom, revenge, manipulation or whatnot will also be good in bed. But an enthusiastic novice is 10 times better than an uncommitted pro.

Trust me on this. If I said how many women I have been with, I'd have to change my User Name.
I agree 100%. From a guy's perspective it's sort of like making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's pretty hard to screw it up. No pun intended. A guy is going to enjoy sex. Sex is not something you are good at or not. It's not like you have to have some athletic dexterity to be good in bed. If there are things you have not done before, there are ways to learn. I've also never met a guy that would marry someone who was better in bed over the girl who had better personality, looks, and the rest of the package.
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Old 01-17-2012, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,494 posts, read 3,992,991 times
Reputation: 6970
That's so cute, OP! Of course you have to eventually have sex with someone to find out if they're sexually compatible. There can be problems ranging from incompatibly sized parts to bait and switch compared to your prior talks. Right away? Probably not the best choice. After a few dates? Depends on your perspective, mainly. Within a few months? Extremely likely, or I'd be moving on, at least. It's too important to me to leave to chance, no matter how much discussion there's been. I've been burned before by bait and switch, so won't be waiting to find out if she walks the walk or just blows hot air.

I hope you find someone who shares your values who is otherwise compatible.
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Old 01-17-2012, 06:46 PM
 
8,702 posts, read 12,522,962 times
Reputation: 6160
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post

There can be problems ranging from incompatibly sized parts . . .

If you are suggestion that a woman might be too small down there, forget it. The average diameter of a newborn's head is about 4" with the smallest being about 3". You may be proud, but you're not that proud.

As for the man's "shortcomings", so to speak, I think that can be judged without intercourse.

This, again is just an excuse. If the couple is attracted enough that they can't wait to get their clothes off after the wedding things will be just fine.
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Old 01-17-2012, 07:25 PM
 
6,037 posts, read 4,724,915 times
Reputation: 5998
Quote:
Originally Posted by Romila View Post
I mean you are dating a person to GET TO KNOW them right.
To see if you become friends get to know one another and see where it goes from there.
From there you date some more. And ask serious question to see if this goes to another level step being boyfriend and girlfriends so you ask about what that person what out of life, wants kids or not, what they want out of life financially, religion if the person is spiritual or not blah blah then comes up the sex question what the person want and don't want in a sex life...WOW...

The guys is like YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX with a person so you know if he is good or not in bed. WHAT?

So will I have to have sex with like 30 guys till I find the right one come on.

When you love someone you talk about things and you come to an agreement what you want out of a sex life.

I mean that is why you talk about sex. To see what the other person want and don´t want.

From there if you really like the person you come with an agreement and etc.


PS I am pro sex after marriage...I am one of those sick people that believe in LOVE first then marriage then sex...yeah CRAZY I know.

How do you know how a car drives without actually driving it yourself? The salesman can tell you it drives fast, smooth, whatever, but you've got to experience it for yourself to actually know if it meets your needs. This is why I ardently oppose waiting for sex until after marriage. That's a gamble that may put a marriage at a disadvantage from the start. Most people enter one expecting a lifetime commitment. Thus, one should make sure all aspects of the relationship are compatible.
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Old 01-17-2012, 07:27 PM
 
Location: The Mitten
705 posts, read 577,029 times
Reputation: 486
Well, boys will be boys...

People change over a course of time. I've changed sense I lived with a few roommates. The first person changed me for the better, afterwards though, when it was too late. It wasn't herself that changed me, but viewing my life as it was then. I'm older now, and while I'm still a guy and sex is on my mind, it really isn't the only thing.

Some guys, or maybe most guys, are brought into that lifestyle or belief; sex doesn't mean anything but a test. I don't believe in that anymore. I had my fun, but now I'm ready to settle down and have a meaningful relationship with someone.

I don't think I'll be able to wait for marriage to have sex, but I can wait to actually meet this person and try to sweep her off her feet.
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Old 01-17-2012, 09:16 PM
 
Location: California
25,630 posts, read 17,196,509 times
Reputation: 18142
Maybe it's a line men use but women want to know too! I've known gals who been with guys with performance issues and that's something you really need to understand before marriage.
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