Should I just let this be my husbands Problem? (how to, women, call)

[NY Annie]

I'm getting the feeling she will stay with her husband because she likes the drama. And when her husband doesn't provide enough, she can count on her inlaws to add some.

OP, I think you need to do some soul searching and take a good look at your daily life. I don't think it's very healthy. You would probably benefit from some counselling, but you'd have to be more receptive to other ways of looking at the issues you are facing.

[Daisy7]

Thank You everyone for the very negative comments, I just want to say this no I don't enjoy or love Drama and sorry that I am not fortunate enough to have Caller ID. And for the one line of letters that I capitalized, it was a natural reaction to someone who had nothing but bad things to say to or for me..

Yes one of my previous posts did talk about the problems my husband and I are having, we had our first counseling session yesterday and continue to deal effectively and are working on our marriage!

Some people think its best to walk away from your problems and throw in the towel with a marriage I however don't. My husband has never physically hurt me, the book didn't even hit me i had enough time to react and move out of the way.. as for his shouting i found out why that is an issue yesterday and after the counselors advice i will do just what he said be my husbands support because he needs me right now he certainly does not have his family..

I think a lot of you should really sit back and condemn your own lives instead of saying negative things about me and mine.. everyone is fighting their own unique war in life.

and for everyone who has gave me great advice and helped me through these times THANK YOU VERY MUCH! <3

[Daisy7]

Originally Posted by NY Annie

I'm getting the feeling she will stay with her husband because she likes the drama. And when her husband doesn't provide enough, she can count on her inlaws to add some.

OP, I think you need to do some soul searching and take a good look at your daily life. I don't think it's very healthy. You would probably benefit from some counselling, but you'd have to be more receptive to other ways of looking at the issues you are facing.

I am attending counseling thank you very much.. and i don't speak to my in-laws by choice when my MIL called the other day I had no idea who was calling so i was trapped in the middle what I should have done was slammed the phone down and had her call back later but we all make mistakes i shouldn't have to explain myself I just came into this forum asking for advice with my husbands relationship with her.. I am glad he is taking a stand for himself i was just worried about how the relationship he has with his family is effecting him but he clearly is ok and i see that now..

[Daisy7]

Originally Posted by malamute

I think just stay out of it. For one just her comment that he needs to help with decorations and be there -- because no he does not *need* to be there for decorations or be there at all and that looks like manipulation.

Yup that is exactly what I thought.. the baby is 3 years old why would they cause this much fuss over it?

[Percentage]

Originally Posted by Daisy7

I am attending counseling thank you very much.. and i don't speak to my in-laws by choice when my MIL called the other day I had no idea who was calling so i was trapped in the middle what I should have done was slammed the phone down and had her call back later but we all make mistakes i shouldn't have to explain myself I just came into this forum asking for advice with my husbands relationship with her.. I am glad he is taking a stand for himself i was just worried about how the relationship he has with his family is effecting him but he clearly is ok and i see that now..

Thats the thing tho, you dont owe anyone an explanation. Do whatever you think will make your household better...all the best with the counseling

[Daisy7]

Originally Posted by PurePugx3

You mentioned you decided to go your 'separate way with them.' Assuming this means you want to put distance between them and you. Well, I'd say you haven't succeeded. It sounds as though you are still just as focused on your problems with them as you were before.

If you must speak to them when they call...."DH isn't home right now, I'll pass along the message you called when he gets here. Bye." You don't leave the door open for further conversation, therein lies your distance. Better yet, if you don't have caller ID and voicemail, I'd arrange for both ASAP. At that point I would stop answering the phone whenever they call. They are his family, let him deal with them. If more distance continues to grow between he and them, that's their issue to work out. My MIL has gone a year or more refusing to speak to her son over very minor issues and they always find a way to work it out.....they are adults and will do what they do.

If you continue to take their calls and snide comments, expect more of the same. There's no reason for them to change because they are not interested in doing so. So that leaves you. You either want the drama or you don't.....what you choose to do with your in-laws from here on out will make what level of drama you are interested in crystal clear.

So would you agree or disagree that distance with the family is a bad or good idea? I am confused and I don't want the drama.. thats one of the big reasons i have been keeping my distance with his family

[bellakin123]

Originally Posted by Daisy7

Thank You everyone for the very negative comments, I just want to say this no I don't enjoy or love Drama and sorry that I am not fortunate enough to have Caller ID. And for the one line of letters that I capitalized, it was a natural reaction to someone who had nothing but bad things to say to or for me..

Yes one of my previous posts did talk about the problems my husband and I are having, we had our first counseling session yesterday and continue to deal effectively and are working on our marriage!

Some people think its best to walk away from your problems and throw in the towel with a marriage I however don't. My husband has never physically hurt me, the book didn't even hit me i had enough time to react and move out of the way.. as for his shouting i found out why that is an issue yesterday and after the counselors advice i will do just what he said be my husbands support because he needs me right now he certainly does not have his family..

I think a lot of you should really sit back and condemn your own lives instead of saying negative things about me and mine.. everyone is fighting their own unique war in life.

and for everyone who has gave me great advice and helped me through these times THANK YOU VERY MUCH! <3

When you post inconsistencies, do not expect positive feedback. In this thread you said the nephew was 3. In another thread recently posted, you said the niece was 8 and the nephew was 6.

Marriage: How do I deal with this issue in my relationship?

[Daisy7]

Originally Posted by bellakin123

When you post inconsistencies, do not expect positive feedback. In this thread you said the nephew was 3. In another thread recently posted, you said the niece was 8 and the nephew was 6.

Marriage: How do I deal with this issue in my relationship?

I can have more than one niece and nephew...

[bellakin123]

Originally Posted by Daisy7

I can have more than one niece and nephew...

Why would you not reference ALL your nieces and nephews in the thread from the other day? You only mentioned 2

[Daisy7]

Originally Posted by bellakin123

Why would you not reference ALL your nieces and nephews in the thread from the other day? You only mentioned 2

because my oldest nephew and niece were the only ones the ordeal pertained to other day.. Why does it matter? its not about my niece and nephews..