do your husbands buy you gifts when you dont have a job and dont have money.men are welcome to answer?

[ravina]

Originally Posted by Trackwatch

I am not technically married but might as well be so I will comment, I buy anything the woman needs and whatever she wants as long as we can afford it(notice I said WE).

What does the wife not working have to do with the husband buying her gifts?

im not working so i dont earn money so, i dont have money to give him a gift.i know his money is ours.but i still feel guilty. as i said in the 1st post.

[ravina]

Originally Posted by Mooseketeer

Of course a married man buys his non working wife a gift. Gifts should not be proportional to how much money you bring to the table.

I don't work because of ill health and Hubby always buys me gifts, for no reason whatsoever. Not hugely extravagant ones because we are on a middling income but always lovely thoughtful ones , from tiny little gifts that cost virtually nothing to jewellery and other feminine treats. Second hand books I love etc...

Also I would say if you are married it is BOTH the wife and the husband's money. A wife who considers the money to only be her husband's alone then in my opinion the relationship is not one of equals and that might become a problem at some point.

I have a little money of my own from a family trust and my own bank account ( he insisted ) and I buy him gifts from that but to be honest if I didn't I would still be getting him gifts from the joint account ( I assume there is a joint account as the OP is married ??? If not there is definitely something wrong, a woman should not have to beg for money from her husband - I never got the "allowance" principle).

And you don't have to spend money to give gifts to people. Small gifts are nice, home made gifts even nicer and it is the thought that counts. Make him his favourite dinner , take him out for a posh picnic , organise something romantic and sexy for you both.

Nobody shoudl feel guilty for receiving gifts from the man they love and who hopefully loves them. I would only feel guilty ( and annoyed) if the gifts were extravagant and beyond our means.

everything is in the joint a/c.

[ravina]

Originally Posted by Karianne

As a SAHW you need to have access to money. If you have a joint account and he is the one that manages the account, you can use it to buy him gifts and just ask him not to look at the transaction history until after he receives the gift. It shouldn't be the amount spent that matters, so much as the thought and effort that goes into the gift. So if he figures out what it costs it shouldn't really matter.

If you do not have a joint account then you should at least get a certain amount monthly for "fun" money. If he can afford $2000 gifts then you should have enough for a reasonable amount of fun money. You can buy him gifts from your fun money and feel more involved because you "saved" the money by giving up fun.

You could also do free gifts like baking special items or giving him coupons for services like hemming pants, sewing things, ect but most likely you are routinely doing those things for him anyway.

If he won't give you access to a joint account or a "fun" money account that belongs to you, I would recommend getting a full time or part time job. I believe that everyone should have access to money for safety and emergencies if nothing else.

joint a/c. sewing things, cooking etc im already doing. and he helps me to cook and clean. so i want to do something very special for him.