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My wife has a female friend that I absolutely dislike. They are not really even that close. They used to work together for a year or so in the same office and this woman has 5 kids with three different fathers; is completely irresponsible with her finances; lives on welfare and throws her kids around to her parents while she goes clubbing almost every other week and parties like she's still in her twenties (she's in her 40's). The things that come out of her mouth is either nonsense, uninformed, or blatant lies, yet she loves to give everyone relationship and financial advice.
My wife and I have been married for over 10 years and I have no issues with who she befriends - just don't expect me to like him or her or drag me along. So just this week, this "friend" asks her to come over for dinner. Knowing very well that I dislike this woman, my wife asks me to join her and I politely refuse, knowing very well that it's going to be an uncomfortable situation. Yet, my wife insists until we start arguing about the reasons why I dislike her friend.
Has this happened to anyone else? Do you put up with your spouse's friend(s) and just "fake it" to be polite? Or do you do what I do and just avoid them altogether? I know if I go to dinner with this woman and she starts spewing things I disagree with, I'll say something and it'll be an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved. What should I do? Anyone have similar experiences?
You should fake it and avoid the friction at home. It's not worth it. Do you want to get into an argument with the wife, just coz the other woman's an idiot?
But the problem here is something else - the fellowship. There can be a rotten apple effect on your wife. So, be warned.
Honestly, in light of the fact that you've been married for 10 years, I'd probably look at it this way:
"Apparently, I'M going to be uncomfortable with this whole situation (not just the dinner, but my wife's friendship with this woman in general). I might as well go, freely disagree whenever I wish (though not be altogether rude), and let the uncomfortable situation come about if it will."
What do you have to lose? Either things ARE awkward for everyone there, you simply get through the dinner well enough and that's that, or you discover that you and this friend actually have enough common ground to get along.
But this advice is given not knowing the dialogue between you and your wife, concerning this friend. The details of that argument may be helpful here...
Thanks for the comments Vic and Antlered. The thing is I have tried and have sat through several of these dinners and get togethers already. The ending result usually pits me against the wife for not being "sensitive" to the friend's "situation." Here is just one of the scenarios just to give you an idea. . .
Friend: "The US is in so much debt it's not funny. How will they ever pay back all that debt to Taiwan?"
Me: "You mean China right? Not Taiwan because China is the biggest debt holder of the US."
Friend: "No, I mean Taiwan. The US owes them more money than anyone else."
Me: "Wha? China is! Everyone knows that. You can Google it!"
Friend: "No, you're wrong and I don't care what Google says."
Wife: "Honey, leave it alone. She's been through a lot."
Me: "Not reading the paper and popping out babies like it's a fashion trend, then she gets free taxpayer's money to support her kids. . . yeah she has a harsh life."
Wife: "Why are you so insensitive?!"
So this is the gist of each conversation/argument we get into each time I see her. If I don't go, then I'm not "nice." If I do go, I'm insensitive.
My wife has a female friend that I absolutely dislike. They are not really even that close. They used to work together for a year or so in the same office and this woman has 5 kids with three different fathers; is completely irresponsible with her finances; lives on welfare and throws her kids around to her parents while she goes clubbing almost every other week and parties like she's still in her twenties (she's in her 40's). The things that come out of her mouth is either nonsense, uninformed, or blatant lies, yet she loves to give everyone relationship and financial advice.
My wife and I have been married for over 10 years and I have no issues with who she befriends - just don't expect me to like him or her or drag me along. So just this week, this "friend" asks her to come over for dinner. Knowing very well that I dislike this woman, my wife asks me to join her and I politely refuse, knowing very well that it's going to be an uncomfortable situation. Yet, my wife insists until we start arguing about the reasons why I dislike her friend.
Has this happened to anyone else? Do you put up with your spouse's friend(s) and just "fake it" to be polite? Or do you do what I do and just avoid them altogether? I know if I go to dinner with this woman and she starts spewing things I disagree with, I'll say something and it'll be an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved. What should I do? Anyone have similar experiences?
Your problem actually seems to be with your wife, not her friend.
"knowing very well" that you "dislike this woman", your "wife insists" you "join her" and then argues with you when you "politely refuse"?
Time for a serious conversation with your wife about respecting your spouse and his/her choices.
You each need to back off and give the other some leeway here (which it sounds like you are willing to do )
Thanks for the comments Vic and Antlered. The thing is I have tried and have sat through several of these dinners and get togethers already. The ending result usually pits me against the wife for not being "sensitive" to the friend's "situation." Here is just one of the scenarios just to give you an idea. . .
Friend: "The US is in so much debt it's not funny. How will they ever pay back all that debt to Taiwan?"
Me: "You mean China right? Not Taiwan because China is the biggest debt holder of the US."
Friend: "No, I mean Taiwan. The US owes them more money than anyone else."
Me: "Wha? China is! Everyone knows that. You can Google it!"
Friend: "No, you're wrong and I don't care what Google says."
Wife: "Honey, leave it alone. She's been through a lot."
Me: "Not reading the paper and popping out babies like it's a fashion trend, then she gets free taxpayer's money to support her kids. . . yeah she has a harsh life."
Wife: "Why are you so insensitive?!"
So this is the gist of each conversation/argument we get into each time I see her. If I don't go, then I'm not "nice." If I do go, I'm insensitive.
You need to shut your ears and play along.
Mod cut: gender bashing.
When you are not present, she can totally plant an idea in your wife's head about how arrogant, insensitive and judgemental you are. Such ideas are dangerous and grow like cancer
Lovesmountains, thank you. That is exactly my thoughts. I think the wife has some hope that I might one day find some sort of redeeming quality in this friend and like her as much as she does, so she continues to try and push me to see this friend.
Fallingwater, these are usually small get togethers where we have some friends and family over (both mine and the wife included). I know for a fact some of my friends also don't like having this woman around either. Whenever she says something crazy you can hear the complete silence, then a round of rolled eyes and people looking at each other to see who will be the first to call her out on her BS. LOL
I can't imagine that I'm the only one in this situation. Don't we have at least one obnoxious friend that no one likes?
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OP: please think about and consider her very wise thoughts 
