Pornography (cheated, friends, couple, partner)

[colione98]

Originally Posted by slanderous

i kind of figured after reading his post on the previous page. I know it would take a lot more than my girlfriend telling me she fantasized about my neighbor (none of whom seem to be under 60) or my nonexistent brother to make me flip out. :d

[D217]

Originally Posted by Vic 2.0

Eh?

You appear traumatized by something from your past.

[Vic 2.0]

Originally Posted by D217

You appear traumatized by something from your past.

Why? Because I know that some people break up over pornography? Get real. This is just a cute way for you to say, "I can't reply directly to your arguments, Vic. They're wasted on people like me."

[Slanderous]

Originally Posted by Vic 2.0

I think it's sad that you are "ok" with her fantasizing about other men instead of you, considering your comment on not being the "hottest" guy. If she's supposedly in love with YOU, a picture of you (either tangible or in her head) should suffice, imo. You don't have to debate necessarily with the post I referred you to, but I'd at least have you consider the logic.

I understand that she may like guys with a different look than I do and that's fine with me. She doesn't need to think about me 24/7 to prove that she loves me. I guess I could suffice, but she can think about whatever she wants to. I'd rather not control her thoughts or feelings.

What is the logic exactly? That fantasizing about anyone who's not my girlfriend is cheating? I'm sorry, but I don't want to live my life feeling guilty about fantasizing. That's all it is, a fantasy. I'm not going to go cheat on my girlfriend because of them and I doubt she'll cheat on me because of her fantasies.

[Djuna]

Originally Posted by Slanderous

I understand that she may like guys with a different look than I do and that's fine with me. She doesn't need to think about me 24/7 to prove that she loves me. I guess I could suffice, but she can think about whatever she wants to. I'd rather not control her thoughts or feelings.

What is the logic exactly? That fantasizing about anyone who's not my girlfriend is cheating? I'm sorry, but I don't want to live my life feeling guilty about fantasizing. That's all it is, a fantasy. I'm not going to go cheat on my girlfriend because of them and I doubt she'll cheat on me because of her fantasies.

Reps for this post.

Very sensible. You echo exactly how I feel and think about porn and relationships.

[Nite Ryder]

Originally Posted by Melanie25

I wouldn't date or marry a man who watched pornography.

The below article spells out the dangers of porn:
The Dangers of Pornography

I suppose you could find a person to write an opinion about just about anything.
Should I expect to see an opinion written on this forum on "Why I should not eat a steak for dinner tonight"? Personally, I don't care what other people do, as long as it doesn't affect me. That goes for my wife also, I don't consider myself her ruler, so she makes her own rules and lives her own life like she wants to live it, with no interference from me.

As far as the OP's above statement "I wouldn't date or marry a man who watched pornography" goes, there are probably many, many men who would be happy to learn of her attitude and way of thinking and wouldn't want her for their wife either. I would prefer a wife with common sense that doesn't let emotions run wild.

[D217]

Originally Posted by Vic 2.0

Why? Because I know that some people break up over pornography? Get real. .

Because if this hasn't happened to you directly, then not only are you way too emotionally involved and preoccupied w/ other people's sex lives, but the hypothetical situations of your own imagination as well.

[Lucario]

Originally Posted by Just1Fan

Forget watching porn. Hang a mirror over your bed, get a tripod and camera, and make your own. That's how I get down. It's strictly for the the grown and sexy, around here. First of all, gotta have a bag or kit, complete with body oils, lubes, and feathers. Lastly, buy your girl some lingerie, so she'll look good, when you got her down.

Gotta have a partner to do that..............

[Vic 2.0]

Originally Posted by D217

Because if this hasn't happened to you directly, then not only are you way too emotionally involved and preoccupied w/ other people's sex lives, but the hypothetical situations of your own imagination as well.

Knowing something (even knowing more about it than others) and/or caring about it does not imply a source of knowledge. And I should think almost EVERYONE knows that at least some couples break up over pornography!

Originally Posted by Slanderous

I understand that she may like guys with a different look than I do and that's fine with me. She doesn't need to think about me 24/7 to prove that she loves me.

Of course not, but when she needs to fantasize about someone sexually (gawd, I HOPE that isn't 24/7!), why not choose you since you're the one she's supposed to be in love with?

Originally Posted by Slanderous

I guess I could suffice, but she can think about whatever she wants to. I'd rather not control her thoughts or feelings.

No one's suggesting that. Sure, she CAN do whatever the hell she wants. But what SHOULD she do? That's the question. There is a reason people get jealous over this kind of stuff, because they see no other point in fantasizing about someone else when you have a sexual mate of your very own to fantasize about. It is, in effect, choosing another over your mate, albeit only in the mind.

Originally Posted by Slanderous

What is the logic exactly? That fantasizing about anyone who's not my girlfriend is cheating? I'm sorry, but I don't want to live my life feeling guilty about fantasizing. That's all it is, a fantasy. I'm not going to go cheat on my girlfriend because of them and I doubt she'll cheat on me because of her fantasies.

I see nothing to gain from calling someone a cheater because they fantasize about cheating, no. But then, I'm not big on labels, even for people who have physically cheated. The logic is that the fantasy itself is the essence of cheating, and I explained why. Assuming that a person who fantasizes about another isn't going to act on that fantasy PHYSICALLY doesn't change the fact that in their mind, they've already acted on it. The physical part of someone cheating is not what's inherently upsetting about it. Again, this is why if a person's SO is raped, you don't place any blame on the victim. It's also why if someone TRIES to cheat physically, but fails for some reason, they are still guilty of cheating.

[Djuna]

Fantasies are about things you would probably ever encounter in real life, like Brad Pitt. I find it pretty scary that anyone would want to control someone else's thoughts. Just because you're their SO does not give you any right to tell them what they can or can't fantasise about.