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View Poll Results: When it comes to pornography........
I Am A Women Who Would NOT Want My Husband/Boyfreind To Watch Porn 27 17.53%
I Am A Women Who Wouldn't Care If My Husband/Boyfreind Watched Porn 8 5.19%
I Am A Women Who Would Watch Porn With My Husband/Boyfreind 27 17.53%
I Am A Man Who Would NOT Want My Wife/Girlfreind To Watch Porn 12 7.79%
I Am A Man Who Wouldn't Care If My Wife/Girlfreind Watched Porn 27 17.53%
I Am A Man Who Would Watch Porn With My Wife/Girlfreind 53 34.42%
Voters: 154. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-24-2012, 12:47 PM
 
Location: in your dreams
15,202 posts, read 15,407,101 times
Reputation: 19898

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
Knowing something (even knowing more about it than others) and/or caring about it does not imply a source of knowledge.
Lmao, do you understand what you just said here?!
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Old 01-24-2012, 12:49 PM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 10,916,165 times
Reputation: 5548
Quote:
Originally Posted by colione98 View Post
You can roll your eyes all you want kitty.... But actually we don't disagree. You just haven't read where I am coming from yet.

My wife and I both watch porn (separately). I refuse to view it with her and keep my viewing private. I consider it cheating but society thinks its ok and all the men in my family watch it and my wife is ok with it. But if I actually think deeply about it, it's not cool to fantasize about other women for any amount of time. But im doing it anyway just for the simple fact that i have fetishes, it is ok in my family, amongst close friends, and it hasn't ruined my marriage. Besides it is just not a natural thing for anyone to do during the length of their marriage.

But- wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiitttttttt a minute... I must be a bad person now cause I have reservations and still view it regardless of my moral dilemma but the majority of my friends, this thread, family, think porn is ok in moderation.... And you have those that will say that viewing porn should be done as a couple and viewing it privately can lead to dishonesty.... PORN IS PORN no matter if it's in private or in partnership....

It's not natural for anyone to only think about their spouse- I can't honestly answer that because I am not a psychologist and haven't done research on the subject. What I know is that I can't.

BUT- some say I have to limit the amount of porn I watch!! Oh, so now my level of porn viewing has to be measured?

Therefore its not natural to fantasize about one person and if i do fantasize about others, it should be done in moderation...

Good- so i will fantasize about cross-dressers today, fisting tomorrow, hairy the next, feet on friday, and maybe latin MILFS on saturday (advance search: with big boobs)..

My point is we say its ok and are exposed to it yet we want to place limits..... There is and never will ever be just 1 answer.

I'm not crazy y'all. having lived in seven countries for 2 or more years at a time- US making it 8, i just have different views.

It's cheating....yet you do it? Okay yeah...that makes sense
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Old 01-24-2012, 12:51 PM
 
Location: in your dreams
15,202 posts, read 15,407,101 times
Reputation: 19898
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
I find it pretty scary that anyone would want to control someone else's thoughts.
Controlling people's thoughts is the easiest way to control the people.

Oldest trick in the book.
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:35 PM
 
Location: USA
23,916 posts, read 16,960,479 times
Reputation: 15187
Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
I think there are some major hypocrites in here. The people supposedly against porn are the ones spending way more time in a pornography thread talking about explicit sexual encounters and positions in detail...than people actually into pornography!


You all should be ashamed of your rigtheous selves!
Typically, those who feel so guilty and dirty about themselves are the ones that shout the loudest. Not all, but often enough that it raises a flag
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Davenport, Iowa
2,467 posts, read 3,834,600 times
Reputation: 3424
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
Of course not, but when she needs to fantasize about someone sexually (gawd, I HOPE that isn't 24/7!), why not choose you since you're the one she's supposed to be in love with?
Because, like I said, I'm sure she finds other men attractive. Maybe she sometimes likes to think about Ryan Gossling. She can fantasize about whatever she wants. We have a lot of fun together, have a good sex life so I have no need to worry about her fantasies or anything like that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
No one's suggesting that. Sure, she CAN do whatever the hell she wants. But what SHOULD she do? That's the question. There is a reason people get jealous over this kind of stuff, because they see no other point in fantasizing about someone else when you have a sexual mate of your very own to fantasize about. It is, in effect, choosing another over your mate, albeit only in the mind.
She should do whatever she wants, whatever makes her feel comfortable, etc. Other people get jealous over this stuff, but I don't because I don't think there's any harm in it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
I see nothing to gain from calling someone a cheater because they fantasize about cheating, no. But then, I'm not big on labels, even for people who have physically cheated. The logic is that the fantasy itself is the essence of cheating, and I explained why. Assuming that a person who fantasizes about another isn't going to act on that fantasy PHYSICALLY doesn't change the fact that in their mind, they've already acted on it. The physical part of someone cheating is not what's inherently upsetting about it. Again, this is why if a person's SO is raped, you don't place any blame on the victim. It's also why if someone TRIES to cheat physically, but fails for some reason, they are still guilty of cheating.
You just have a different view of this but I don't find your view "sad" like you do mine. Different strokes for different folks.
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Old 01-24-2012, 02:08 PM
 
Location: TX
6,486 posts, read 5,658,498 times
Reputation: 2622
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
Fantasies are about things you would probably ever encounter in real life, like Brad Pitt. I find it pretty scary that anyone would want to control someone else's thoughts. Just because you're their SO does not give you any right to tell them what they can or can't fantasise about.
Not necessarily. And again, this isn't about controlling someone else's thoughts; it's a question of who a person should be fantasizing about when they're in a committed relationship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
Lmao, do you understand what you just said here?!
You mean how it could be MISREAD? As if I was saying "(It) doesn't imply a PRESENCE of knowledge"? Sure, I can see that, but do you understand what was ACTUALLY said?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Slanderous View Post
Because, like I said, I'm sure she finds other men attractive. Maybe she sometimes likes to think about Ryan Gossling. She can fantasize about whatever she wants. We have a lot of fun together, have a good sex life so I have no need to worry about her fantasies or anything like that.
Finding someone attractive doesn't mean you have to go fantasizing about having sex with them. I wouldn't worry about the fantasies themselves so much as the inclination to do the fantasizing...
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Old 01-24-2012, 02:09 PM
 
8,680 posts, read 14,064,859 times
Reputation: 15296
Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
I think there are some major hypocrites in here. The people supposedly against porn are the ones spending way more time in a pornography thread talking about explicit sexual encounters and positions in detail...than people actually into pornography!


You all should be ashamed of your rigtheous selves!
[URL="http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16680-porn-in-the-usa-conservatives-are-biggest-consumers.html"]Porn in the USA: Conservatives are biggest consumers - science-in-society - 27 February 2009 - New Scientist[/URL]

Also:

[URL="http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-20006703-71.html"]Sunday is most popular day for online porn | Technically Incorrect - CNET News[/URL]

Yep. Come home from church and fire up the ol' computer, from Almighty to all righty!
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Old 01-24-2012, 02:10 PM
 
9,410 posts, read 12,526,902 times
Reputation: 20261
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
Not necessarily. And again, this isn't about controlling someone else's thoughts; it's a question of who a person should be fantasizing about when they're in a committed relationship.
Sorry, who made you Master and Boss over your SOs thoughts?

Who are you to tell someone else who they are allowed to think about?

It most certainly IS all about control. It's also about your insecurity, because most of us here fantasise about all kinds of things yet still maintain a perfectly good relationship.
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Old 01-24-2012, 02:15 PM
 
8,680 posts, read 14,064,859 times
Reputation: 15296
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slanderous View Post
I will tackle this part because I don't think about other women while I'm having sex with my girlfriend. I enjoy sex with her and don't have to think about another woman while we're having sex. When we're together, I have little reason to fantasize about other women, but we'll tell each other when we find someone on TV/the internet attractive.

Great post.

Yep. He knows who I think is hot and I know who he thinks is hot. Actually, I appreciate his taste. Not for nothing, but it doesn't run toward orange-tinted silicone on sticks. And lucky for me, he likes True Blood and martial arts movies, so I get to watch all the Alexander Skarsgard and Jet Li I want, with him.
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Old 01-24-2012, 02:19 PM
 
Location: TX
6,486 posts, read 5,658,498 times
Reputation: 2622
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
Sorry, who made you Master and Boss over your SOs thoughts?

Who are you to tell someone else who they are allowed to think about?

It most certainly IS all about control.
Yet AGAIN, this is a question of what a person should do without being controlled. Understand that this can encompass the judgement of right/wrong or simply good/bad ideas. I'm not interested in the first on this subject, but I do contend that the viewing of pornography and fantasizing about someone other than your SO is a bad idea. It serves no purpose (at least no necessary purpose) in light of the risks.

There is a rather large variety of expectations that people place on their SOs, or another person in general, and all that distinguishes between appropriate "controlling" efforts and inappropriate ones is the question of right/wrong or good/bad ideas.
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