Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Granted, some of your expenses should be shifted to the joint account. However, it is absolutely fair that the one that earns gets to spend. You want more, you work more. It's time to stop eying your partner's money for your personal desires. Last but not least, gifts are just that, gifts.Where do you get off to complain that he is not buying you a new toy (notebook) or jewelry.
If the husband is going to continue to maintain a separate account, IMO, he should be obliged to assist OP in maintaining a standard of living similar to his own, for fairness' sake...he should buy her the things she wants to make up for the difference, and to be equitable...
Why? women always speak of being independent even when in relationships, well living on what you make is being independent.
If I was married to a woman who made much more than me, I would not expect her to make up the difference, if she chose to I would appreciate it but I would not expect it.
I once dated a woman 3 and a half years who made 5 times what I did, when we would travel I would pay for my own plane ticket, she was cool with that because she would always get packages that covered food and lodging anyway(before she met me) so in her words "I was costing her nothing and it was more fun to travel as a couple".
I have almost the same problem. My husband works and I stay home with my three children, The oldest is from a previous relationship. I get a weekly check for that child and use it to pay for cable, lights, gas,insurance,and I in the past bought him a car trailer, gave him a $1000 for a paint job on his hot rod,I bought him a cellphone and pay the bill, I paid almost a $1000 in his back child support, I buy him socks underwear, ect...Lets just put it like this, I am constantly giving and paying for him. The only bill he pays is $400 rent that his mom charges and the rest he spends on himself. If I need money because I need somthing extra I haveto pay him back. He has 2 hot rods and a truck and his old beat up truck he said I can drive as long as I pay for his new truck to get registered...$300...I bought him a wedding ring and he gave me his exes engagement ring. I just dont know what to do. When I do try to talk to him, he ends up getting mad and the problem never seems to go away...Any advice??
You shouldn't use childsupport given for your older child to your living arrangement and his living expenses. Bring it up to him, and if he don't cooperate, seek legal separation (or even divorce) with child support from him.
Isnt child support supposed to be used for, you know...supporting the child? Or is it just free money to be used for whatever? Or maybe bargaining chip, when you can threaten with divorce?.
Man, you people are so materialistic, selfish and screwed up because of it. I feel sorry for you.
that's usually what happens when you have separate accounts....no one has control over what the other does with the finances every month...I feel like if your married your like one...and should have joint accounts...the money is shared between each other....just seems weird to me when everything is separate. I mean why even get married? if you want to keep everything separate just stay dating then? seems like some trust issues in that type of situation.
You shouldn't use childsupport given for your older child to your living arrangement and his living expenses. Bring it up to him, and if he don't cooperate, seek legal separation (or even divorce) with child support from him.
My husband and I we are married for 3 years now,and we always being separate,and not because I wanted,but his always private when is about his money.I just know what he tells me,but what is having in account or how many account he does have,I have no idea...he does not share....his always saying same excuse...when I am saying I want to go holiday with him...or I wamt have something I wish so much...never ..he buys me very cheap things,and this I dont like....he seems he does not care ..to my needs or what I like...I buy him staff too but,I always think what he likes and buy ...so we not same...He is going on holidays alone...say that his brother buy his tickets...which...recently he went America from London...so...kind of expencive....plus he returned with very expencive clothing...nothing less the 60$.....and a pair of pants were 170$ ...and for me....he buyed...2 tshirts with washinghton dc logo....3$ each...as he took a picture...but he forgot to remove the price .I asked him if he can buy me a Gucci bag....so I was very sad...when he come back...with 3$ tshirt for me....and for him over 500$ shopping for him...I felt sick....is just not fair....he seems that...he does not care...and still he complains I am not understanding...understand what...his selfish...who likes a selfish person????
You're not understanding what--that he doesn't want to spend vacations with you, he doesn't want his wife along on his vacations? What's there to understand? It's obvious--he's living his own life without you. Do you two ever take vacations together?
What was your engagement like, and dating before that? Did either of you talk about how you would handle money as a couple?
The fact that he keeps everything private isn't a good sign. And I agree about the gifts--he doesn't seem to care about you. I wouldn't stay married to someone like that.
Well, I belive that chiild support is paid to support a child, not multiple children from another marriage and their dad. Switching that money to something else, is essentially stealing.
Isnt child support supposed to be used for, you know...supporting the child? Or is it just free money to be used for whatever? Or maybe bargaining chip, when you can threaten with divorce?.
Man, you people are so materialistic, selfish and screwed up because of it. I feel sorry for you.
one of the states I lived in, I worked as a doorman in a nightclub, in that state welfare checks went out on the first of the month, child support went out on the 15th, take a wild guess what 2 days did we always see the most women in the club?
These issues should be decided upon before the marriage takes place, and there will be times in marriages when one spouse makes more than the other. Child support is for the support of the child not the new spouse. In my opinion a partnership is just that and should be fair. My husband is a cardiologist and make a good bit of money. I have been working as an executive in a large advertising agency, and I do pretty well too. We share everything and are happy that way. I guess everyone has to determine which way is best for them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
