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OK Men - this one is for you. A lot of ladies will be interested in your replies I am sure. Imagine, a guy falls deeply in love with a lady......big time.....does he get scared? Does it make him feel INSECURE and afraid? And if so why? Men are meant to be the big macho ones - but I think they have to hide a a lot of their feelings and being in love must make them feel pretty vulnerable, especially if they have been hurt previously. Thanks for your replies!
Scared of potential rejection from a girl, as a guy? Absolutely...
Scared of falling totally and completely in love and sharing feelings and tenderness and loving affection, once a potential relationship has been established? Not at all...
In a way, yes, I think it can be scary to realize your really in love. Not because of the emotion itself, but the total implication. Trusting someone else completely, maybe beginning to think of a future with them, etc.
I am now engaged to my soul mate, and I was first when I originally told her I loved her. We had known each other for a long time, and knew each other well when I told her, but had only been actually dating a short period of time. She had already expressed that she had "expectations" for us, but never told me she loved me.
We had just left a movie theatre. Sort of. We had gone out to the movies on Christmas Eve, but never went into the movie. We exchanged gifts in the car, sat and talked, and talked for hours, which turned into kissing. Before we knew it, the last movie goers were leaving and we were among the last cars in the lot.
I was driving her home, and as we approached her house she declared to me that she wanted to keep driving around, that she was not ready to go home yet. So we drove around the neighborhood at 3 AM, now Christmas morning, looking at all the lights.
We talked more, about how we felt, etc., and I knew I wanted to tell her how I felt. I was scared to do it, because I did not know how she would react. I also knew it carried a lot of implications, showing her how serious I was, that I too had great expectations for our future (and I did). I knew she was my soul mate. I forget what she said which prompted my response, but I remember stopping at stop sign, and responding with "I am falling in love with you." I know she must have known that anyway, but I will never forget the expression of shock and surprise on her face after having said it.
I knew we had hurdles to cross too, and I was scared of them as well. She started running through them like a laundry list. So I told her how I felt, that although there was a lot we would have to see if it worked out, and nothing is assured at that point and plenty to be scared about, that I did love her and that I felt she was worth the risk of my feelings and emotions to give it a shot.
That was over a year ago, and things have been wonderful and we have been able to work through the anticipated hurdles! We are now engaged and happy!
So yes, it was scary. Scary to have those emotions. Scary to put them out there not knowing how they would be returned. Scary to take the chance to see if more could grow from them, and risk being crushed if it didn't.
I am just blessed that with the great risk that was scary, I have been finding great reward!
OK Men - this one is for you. A lot of ladies will be interested in your replies I am sure. Imagine, a guy falls deeply in love with a lady......big time.....does he get scared? Does it make him feel INSECURE and afraid? And if so why? Men are meant to be the big macho ones - but I think they have to hide a a lot of their feelings and being in love must make them feel pretty vulnerable, especially if they have been hurt previously. Thanks for your replies!
Great thread and a rep for you. Yes, many do. I have and if it comes around for me again I think I will be a bit scared. The emotions take over, And one can feel overwhelmed. It is not usually negative though. Thinking about the person all the time, That watching the clock counting the hours to when you can see them again. Men hide their feelings very well indeed. We can be big mushes, believe me.
The term "love is a drug" is true. it's been proven it changes brain chemistry. Now if only it could create harmony over the TV remote control....
It's human nature to be a bit scared when it comes to love regardless of the sex of said person. Even more so if you've been hurt a lot it tends to make you a bit gun shy. Women are no different then men in that regard.
Some of the more powerful emotions do scare people who are unprepared to deal with them. Love is one of those emotions.
I think this is a fairly normal response, regardless of sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067
It's human nature to be a bit scared when it comes to love regardless of the sex of said person. Even more so if you've been hurt a lot it tends to make you a bit gun shy. Women are no different then men in that regard.
I agree - regardless of gender - some people get scared when they fall in love. Being in love can change your entire life - the way you see everything - your past, present, and future. It can make or break you. It's no wonder it can be a scary thing.
Men don't do the love thing like women. Men may get hit with the emotional thing once and going forward it depends on how the woman treats him. If a woman breaks a mans heart once all women to an extent will have to pay after that..
Women can get their heart broken many times and bounce back. For men it's once and after that your a fool. I guess in the big picture it's not so much of men being afraid of falling in love it's women wanting to define how a man should act when in love.. If a man is providing for you and the kids he loves you at some level because if not he wouldn't care.
i'm kinda goin thru this now. however i know for a fact that she's lookin for nothing long term and while she hasn't stated this explicitly, hints have certainly been given and as someone who tends to pay attention to details (or just plain over analyze things ) i can see the writing on the wall. i'm just dreading the moment she finally walks away, because i know it'll be tough for me to forget her.
Its scary for women too. I hate showing emotion and being vulnerable and love brings all of that out and that is scary.
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) i can see the writing on the wall. i'm just dreading the moment she finally walks away, because i know it'll be tough for me to forget her.
