Update on "Wife, Emotional Affair..' plus others. (marry, guy, cheats)
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I can see where when you are trying to justify everything why it would be complex. When you are not listening... To her or us where is would be bewildering.
Continue to make excuses and let it manifest itself into something far worse.
Or listen to our advise here and walk away. If you are looking for affirmation, it is easy to ignore or make excuses.
Better idea, cease with the cranium rectal inversion. Look at the situation as it really is. Your wife has resigned herself from the marriage. Don't prolong the ordeal. One day you will find them going at it in your bed. I'd venture to say it might have already happened. I know your wife denies it, here is a news flash: people lie.
I see where you are going with this, but I don't think the guy has any clue of his responsibility in this situation. All he offers up is a lot of rationalization.
Typically, I am about the last person to make any kind of excuse for cheating. At the same time, I've seen situations happen where I look on and say, "Well, I'm not surprised." This is one of those.
I see where you are going with this, but I don't think the guy has any clue of his responsibility in this situation. All he offers up is a lot of rationalization.
Typically, I am about the last person to make any kind of excuse for cheating. At the same time, I've seen situations happen where I look on and say, "Well, I'm not surprised." This is one of those.
I forgot about that thread. What a freaking train wreck. I'd love to hear her side of the story. His mentality is dangerous and boorish. I can understand where she is coming from through.
Man you really can rationalize and forgive alot. I wouldn't be surprised if you come home one day and find the two of them going at it in your bed.
This may appear mean, but it's the truth. It's as if this guy takes precedence over her marriage. I guess her husband's feelings isn't important. I wonder how she would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
This may appear mean, but it's the truth. It's as if this guy takes precedence over her marriage. I guess her husband's feelings isn't important. I wonder how she would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
Hey, I'm not legitimizing an affair here. But read this guy's postings. I'm thinking that, if she really is getting out there, it's for a reason.
She's not having an emotional affair. She's having an affair, even if she isn't doing the deed yet. And she's throwing out all the accusations for a reason. One, a good defense is a good offense, Two, she's giving herself permission to do it, essentially telling herself that you forced into an affair.
But, as Stan said, there are two sides to every story. The big fat clues you've provided shows that you're being kind of a pompous, suffocating control freak by telling her that she can't see anyone, friends or family, for a month. Really? Are you just trying to destroy what's left of your marriage? I mean, you've already posted once about possibly withholding sex from her unless the two of you move away from her family, denying her the opportunity to have children. Buddy, I think you have serious, serious issues that, if allowed to fester, will turn you into an emotional abuser (One of the red flags is, by the way, attempting to sever contacts with the spouse's friends and family). I just don't think you realize how creepy you're beginning to sound. I typically don't blame the spouse when someone has an affair, but your accounts tell me that you've made it darned easy for her to do it. With your controlling behavior, you practically made the reservations at the NoTell Motel for the poor woman.
And how hard is it for you to just listen to her talk about her problems? Women who talk about their problems don't necessarily want you to solve them. They just want you to listen. No matter how busy I am, I always make time every day to talk to my wife. It's just good sense. And that line about your "not being a counselor" is about the lamest thing I've ever heard. It's weak cheese. It's cowardice. It's an abdication of your responsibilities as a supportive partner in the marriage. It's essentially saying to your wife, "I am so emotionally clueless that I can only talk about things that interest me, namely things that don't make me uncomfortable." In essence, you're only available to her in limited ways, which is practically inviting her to step out on you. And, to be honest, I can't blame her if she does. Right now, I bet she has friends who are urging her to do it. Because he's the only guy in her life who is actually talking to her, rather than handing down mandates.
On to the guy. A man sending a woman poetry is a man who thinks he's about to close the deal, whether it means getting her in the sack or getting her to leave you. I'd tell her that this is behavior way beyond the bounds of a normal friendship and that you are really uncomfortable with it. Then if he continues to pursue, I'd have a nice little face-to-face meeting with the guy. Just stroll into his office one day and close the door. No threats. No violence. You don't even have to swear, raise your voice, or call him names. Simply a discussion of what he's doing and how he's getting into the middle of you marriage. It is likely that the guy is a bit of a coward and he won't do it again. Sure, it will make your wife mad, and it's a bit of a Hail Mary, but you've allowed this situation to go on so long that it's about to undermine your marriage.
So there you go. One confused wife, one emotionally unavailable husband who can't seem to get it quite right, and a guy who's waiting in the wings to exploit the situation to his advantage. I think I'd do something about it by working on your marriage, working on yourself, and taking a long, hard look at how you're treating the most important person in your life. You've been a fool, and now it's time to stop.
She gave you what you wanted by agreeing to just spending time with you. But i mean give me a break, when you are gone she is supposed to vegetate in the house? If she is saying all these things about you, and needs emotion from another source than YOU need to take heed of what she is saying and work on things. I think you are so wrapped up in her friend, that you are missing what you are contributing to all this. Relationship problems are almost always the fault of both parties and not just one. And FYI giving her an ultimatum is just going to ensure she spends less time with you and more time talking to him.
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What a freaking train wreck. I'd love to hear her side of the story. His mentality is dangerous and boorish. I can understand where she is coming from through.
