U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 02-06-2012, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
511 posts, read 397,977 times
Reputation: 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by ja1myn View Post
I think it was more of a shock to people in older generations. Today it's pretty widely accepted.
Bingo. People are products of their times. I bet this will be less and less of an issue as time goes on.

 
Old 02-06-2012, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Atlanta & NYC
6,629 posts, read 5,252,561 times
Reputation: 6313
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix_down View Post
Bingo. People are products of their times. I bet this will be less and less of an issue as time goes on.
Eventually everyone will have a shade of color in them so I don't see the problem. America is the largest melting pot after all and always has been.
 
Old 02-06-2012, 02:57 PM
 
Location: USA
9,093 posts, read 4,542,591 times
Reputation: 6867
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix_down View Post
Bingo. People are products of their times. I bet this will be less and less of an issue as time goes on.
And once they let loose of these "Sacred cows" they will wonder why they held them so dear in the first place.
 
Old 02-06-2012, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
511 posts, read 397,977 times
Reputation: 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun View Post
And once they let loose of these "Sacred cows" they will wonder why they held them so dear in the first place.
Some people will never change though. They are too set in their ways for too long.
 
Old 02-06-2012, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Atlanta & NYC
6,629 posts, read 5,252,561 times
Reputation: 6313
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix_down View Post
Some people will never change though. They are too set in their ways for too long.
But I don't think their children and their children's children will hold the same strict values growing up in a world that accepts all type of marriages.

Thank God!
 
Old 02-06-2012, 03:09 PM
 
Location: USA
9,093 posts, read 4,542,591 times
Reputation: 6867
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix_down View Post
Some people will never change though. They are too set in their ways for too long.
Too bad for them. Any time you can let loose fear and mistrust for no good reason it is liberating.
 
Old 02-06-2012, 03:45 PM
 
69 posts, read 52,690 times
Reputation: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by topher5150 View Post
I'm a white guy who married a Black girl, everything has been going good not to many problems, but I was kind of curious which family had the hardest time, or most difficulty accepting this. I ask because my wife said that her family had a talk to her when she stopped dating black men. It hasn't been in an issue in our marriage, I'm just curious what others have noticed in these types of relationships.
I'm a black woman who prefers white men (I typically find them more attractive and am more attracted to them personality wise-a lot of the black men I meet seem to think you have to "be black" and I don't understand that) and my family has issues with this. I avoid the topic with them and have no clue what'll happen if I end up engaged to a white man. On the outside, they say it doesn't matter, but then they make comments where you can tell it does. My great grandmothers didn't trust white people very much (2 of 3 of my best friends are white, the other is mexican) and told me to always watch out. I think the biggest deal is a lot of families still have/hold a grunge. The older generations remember a time of less tolerance and acceptance and have issues dealing with the people who literally held them back from true American freedom (in my town, my mom was in 4th or 5th grade when integration was finally enforced and she was born in the 60's). I'm from the South and it's not something seen very much (especially in my area of SC I live). You see a lot of black guy/white girl relationships but hardly any the other way around. A lot of black guys (even the one's who date white women) are NOT okay with black girls doing the same. It's weird and annoying.
 
Old 02-06-2012, 04:50 PM
 
Location: USA
9,093 posts, read 4,542,591 times
Reputation: 6867
Quote:
Originally Posted by Letscu99 View Post
A lot of black guys (even the one's who date white women) are NOT okay with black girls doing the same. It's weird and annoying.
You would think that 20 years of black men dating out would make them more accepting than anyone other then white women of dating out
 
Old 02-06-2012, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Middletown, Ohio
1,572 posts, read 1,307,616 times
Reputation: 5135
Lightbulb From A Black Man...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Letscu99 View Post
I'm a black woman who prefers white men (I typically find them more attractive and am more attracted to them personality wise-a lot of the black men I meet seem to think you have to "be black" and I don't understand that) and my family has issues with this. I avoid the topic with them and have no clue what'll happen if I end up engaged to a white man. On the outside, they say it doesn't matter, but then they make comments where you can tell it does. My great grandmothers didn't trust white people very much (2 of 3 of my best friends are white, the other is mexican) and told me to always watch out. I think the biggest deal is a lot of families still have/hold a grunge. The older generations remember a time of less tolerance and acceptance and have issues dealing with the people who literally held them back from true American freedom (in my town, my mom was in 4th or 5th grade when integration was finally enforced and she was born in the 60's). I'm from the South and it's not something seen very much (especially in my area of SC I live). You see a lot of black guy/white girl relationships but hardly any the other way around. A lot of black guys (even the one's who date white women) are NOT okay with black girls doing the same. It's weird and annoying.
I, personally, don't have a problem with you or anyone else black, dating and/or marrying someone who isn't...that's straight-up, serious business, from the heart

Should you wind up marrying interracially, then love that man you're with, for who HE is, and don't listen to a bunch of folk knick-knacking and whispering about your choices, because at the end of the day, you are an adult, and no one can do a damn thing about it...

As far as the 'be black' thing goes, I am 110% black, born that way, and will die that way...but i will not sit in judgement on you or anyone else who decides to 'think outside the box'...see, a lot of people, of ALL shades, get caught up in this bullquacky about 'losing your culture' and 'keeping things pure' and carrying on about 'mixed kids having to suffer'---please, give me a break...

The only culture I've ever lost is when I clear some bad yogurt from my refrigerator...I know WHO I am, I know WHERE I came from, and my eventual choice of a mate should A) not cause the earth to be sucked into a black hole and B) frankly, shouldn't be anybody's expletive business...and B is something you should make a personal mantra, each and every day

If your family has issues with it, first take the diplomatic tack..and explain (or try to explain) why you feel like you do---you don't come across as some screaming harpy who's always yelling about 'black men aint s**t!', and you don't seem as though you have any hate toward your fellow blacks either...and, if your family can't accept your choices for the near forseeable future, then let them know you love them, and move forward with your life...don't do something drastic like cutting them off totally, because if things don't work out with your choices, your family should have your back and give you a soft place to land

I hope my words have been a help to you...yeah, I'm as hard-nosed and rock-jawed as I wanna be when it comes to some things, but when someone or something moves me, I will try to say something positive and helpful on their behalf...good luck to you
 
Old 02-06-2012, 07:26 PM
 
Location: Bayou City Megaplex
2,978 posts, read 2,864,711 times
Reputation: 2409
Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun View Post
You would think that 20 years of black men dating out would make them more accepting than anyone other then white women of dating out
This attitude isn't unique to black men. It is the result of a sexist double-standard common among men of all ethnicities which stems primarily from an impulse to exert control over the sexual selection capacity of "his" women, while at the same time affording himself the freedom to experiment with women from a variety of backgrounds without guilt or shame. The double-standard also accounts for why girls in general are expected to maintain a tendency towards chastity while boys are encouraged or at least enabled to sew their wild oats.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top