Are men afraid to approach bigger woman? (dates, clothes, social)

[mochamajesty]

Originally Posted by jerseygal4u

This is what I mean when I said overweight and being big varies,so its hard to get an answer.
Is you were 230lb and 5ft 4in,and now are 5ft 4in and 160 lb,you are still overweight,according to the Bmi charts. So,I guess technically you still are a bigger woman.

I'm not saying anything negative,just saying its hard to quantify "big" based on the eye.

Sweetie, I am in a size six or eight depending on the cut. I have visible muscle definition in my arms and abs. No, I am not "bigger", I am the smallest that I have ever been in my life. When I left boot camp, I weighed 150 pounds and was in a size 10/12. Can you guess what made the difference?

The only reason that I know how much I weigh is from my annual checkup (if they didn't insist, I wouldn't do it then). I don't go by the scale or BMI charts. And neither should you.

But as a nurse, you already know how inaccurate BMI charts are, right?

[11thHour]

Long thread, so I haven't read it all, maybe this has been said. It has nothing to do with fear, it has to do with attraction, or lack thereof.

[jerseygal4u]

Originally Posted by mochamajesty

Sweetie, I am in a size six or eight depending on the cut. I have visible muscle definition in my arms and abs. No, I am not "bigger", I am the smallest that I have ever been in my life. When I left boot camp, I weighed 150 pounds and was in a size 10/12. Can you guess what made the difference?

The only reason that I know how much I weigh is from my annual checkup (if they didn't insist, I wouldn't do it then). I don't go by the scale or BMI charts. And neither should you.

But as a nurse, you already know how inaccurate BMI charts are, right?

Its still the basic chart most healthcare professionals go by. Most of the doctors I know still go by that chart.

As far as I know,extra weight,whether its muscle or fat,still increases health risks.but I could be wrong,just stating that I still see Docs use that chart.

When women speak of size,that doesn't mean anything.

I'm a. Size 6 on top, size 14 on bottom.
My sister is a 2x up top,size 10 on the bottom.

I'm 180lb,she is 220 lb.
I can never get into a single digit jean size no matter how much weight I lose.

[burgler09]

I would never date a fat person, ever. So I would never approach a fat girl. I am not afraid, I simply take care of myself and want someone who does the same.

[K-Luv]

Originally Posted by Amber1964

Just wondering? Up until this point I am just going to accept that I am big and that it is just a fact of life. What do the men think on here?

I am not a chubby chaser by any means, but if a woman looks good she looks good.

[NC~Mom]

I think many men are shallow, and even if they are secretly attracted to overweight women, they are afraid to "come out" about it because they have to "keep face" with their friends.
I do notice many of the same men who like to insult overweight women....usually have big bellies and back hair.
Just look on the beach....fat men in Speedos....big egos or what??

[mochamajesty]

Originally Posted by jerseygal4u

Its still the basic chart most healthcare professionals go by. Most of the doctors I know still go by that chart.

As far as I know,extra weight,whether its muscle or fat,still increases health risks.but I could be wrong,just stating that I still see Docs use that chart.

When women speak of size,that doesn't mean anything.

I'm a. Size 6 on top, size 14 on bottom.
My sister is a 2x up top,size 10 on the bottom.

I'm 180lb,she is 220 lb.
I can never get into a single digit jean size no matter how much weight I lose.

Do doctors take into account different body types? No, they don't. My doc told me the same thing (I was too heavy) at 156. I told him to stuff it (respectfully). He told me that I didn't look like I weighed that much. Well, doc, that may be because of my body type.

How can someone who can see their muscles be overweight? You need low body fat to see muscles.

I looked up BMI calculators online, and they don't even differentiate between men and women. Please tell me how that's accurate.

Oh, and someone who is a size 6 on top and a size 14 on bottom is plus-sized, just as someone who wears a 2x is plus-sized. I am a size six all over. How can you say that doesn't mean anything?

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

I've heard people describe some 5'1" who were a little overweight as 'big.' Um, excuse me, to me big conjures up physical mass, not just being fat. Fat people are often big but not all fat people are big.

Yeah you'd be imposing and intimidating to most men. Imagine a skinny 5'5" man approaching you. I admit I probably wouldn't approach you but mostly because I feel tall women don't want to date shorter men.

I'm also 6'1" (actually 6' and 1/2", lol). Oddly, I remember from my younger days the 5'5" guys approaching me in the club. One had to admire their courage, but since they are already considered out of the normal range themselves, they probably figured why not give it a shot.

I think most men won't date women taller than they are/or taller than average because their concern is often what their friends or family will think. Part of their choice is "what looks good/socially acceptable on my arm when I'm out in public." This mindset also explains why a lot of men will happily screw around with fat girls on the side but not be seen in public with them. I've seen that phenomenon over and over for years with overweight women that I know. Married men, especially, have no problem having sexual relationships with the fat chicks as long as it's not out in the open.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by JetJockey

A male friend of mine used to make fun of an overweight girl I worked with. A few months ago. I saw her in a local bar and she looked INCREDIBLE, she had to have lost 100 lbs. My friend then proceeded to hit on her not realizing who she was and I don't believe I've ever witnessed such a verbal ass-whooping in my life.

Treat people how they deserve to be treated... Looks change, good or bad, but a persons personality generally stays the same.

A woman I know had that stomach surgery and lost more than 100 pounds. She was divorced but wanted to be married and have children and so she started seriously using Eharmony. She went out on a date with one man who looked good on paper, but during their first date he went on and on about women he had met online who turned out to be fat, and he used some unkind words to describe them. She told him that she used to be fat and knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of those names and that they were obviously not compatible people and ended the date right there.

(In the end, she did meet a great guy on EHarmony. They married two years ago and had their first child this past year.)

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Doll Eyes

Yes, I notice too how they bend over backwards for very attractive women at work. I just kind of and say 'what else is new?' And then go on about my business; I guess I am treated more 'businesslike.' This is a shame though if you're treated like you 'may as well have a penis.' I don't know how that makes you feel, but I would feel like crap. This is going to sound weird: but if there is any kind of flirting going on, IMO it's b/c I have very large breasts. It is almost a sexualized thing if that makes sense other wise they likely wouldn't bother LOL.

LOL, I have a friend that I know because we used to work together. She's not hideous or anything, but she was in her forties at the time, married to someone in the same company, wore glasses, very businesslike and professional. She was always having to call or hunt down the other engineers for information she needed for paperwork for their projects. Then they gave her an assistant, a young, blonde, pretty, thin woman just out of college. After that, she didn't have to hunt these engineers down for the information they needed--they were flocking on their own to her office on the pretext of giving her the documentation, but it was really just to gawk at the pretty assistant.

Men are SO predictable and transparent sometimes. They have two heads and usually don't do much thinking with the big one.