U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 01-28-2012, 04:53 PM
 
7,508 posts, read 2,150,827 times
Reputation: 3857

Advertisements

I don't think these are really tests...I've heard worse. It sounds more like POP QUIZ! Jk.

 
Old 01-28-2012, 04:55 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,510 posts, read 12,048,177 times
Reputation: 9109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
My husband and I went to the movies today and I passed him my coat, 3-D glasses, and drink while I went to the ladies room. It was a diabolical plan.
LMAO Nice way to put it into perspective.
 
Old 01-28-2012, 05:00 PM
 
15,102 posts, read 8,495,407 times
Reputation: 11933
Quote:
Originally Posted by misiu007 View Post
- when initialy meeting in a social place, a woman will ask a guy to watch her purse or a jacket as she goes to the ladies room with her friend (dont do it guys).

I'd never leave my purse behind. How would I touch up my lipgloss in the ladies room if I leave my purse at the table? lol
A jacket, I'd just leave that with no instructions for the person to watch it.

- A woman will often try to get your attention, while you are doing something seemingly important to you, like watching your favorite NFL team in the playoffs.

Can't say I ever did this. I mean I don't pretend that person is in a bubble and therefore won't interact. I think that's kind of stupid too.

- A woman will often try to change your schedule around, in order to see if you are willing to give up something important to you in favor of what she wants to do at that given time.

I've never done this either.

- A woman will walk away from a man and a man is to follow, but never anymore than twice as this will deem him weak. If he doesn't follow at all she will think he is not interested. This is all part of the mating ritual and a lot of women will not even know they are doing it.

Never heard of this before. If I walk away it's for a purpose...to use the restroom, talk to someone else..etc. If he follows great, if he doesn't that's fine too.

- A woman may start an argument with someone in your presence just to see if you will stick up for her. I'd advise sticking up for her and then if you have a big disagreement with what she is doing, discuss it with her in private and let her tell you her view point.

Never did that either. I wouldn't start an argument with someone just to see how my SO would react...that's seriously bizzare.

- A woman may be intentionally late just to see if you set barriers or not. Set barriers. Be firm but don't be a jerk. Let them know it's not okay to be late.

Nah, if I'm late it's for a reason...but I always call and let the person I'm meeting know that I'm running late.

- A woman wants proof that you love her and persistence is the only way they know you aren't a quitter, as a quitter wouldn't really love them. In other words if you really love them, you won't quit. Keep in mind at the same time not to crowd them, give them space.

I think everyone likes a little reassurance now and again. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone to say "hey, I love you" just because.

This is only a tip of the iceberg, and I copuld probably write a book about these types of tests, but let me assure you, it isnt a short list by any means.

My question to you ladies is the following. When you put a man through these series of tests, is it something that you do on a conscious level, while being completely aware of what is taking place? In that case why do you do it?

Or is it something that you do subconsciously, and is nothing than a tool of nature instilled in females to assure that they pick a suitabe mate? Perhaps its a combination of both? Looking forward to your responses.
I've never put a man through tests. I think you are over-analyzing much too much here. Most of these situations aren't "tests"...they are just everyday common occurances.
 
Old 01-28-2012, 05:01 PM
 
5,073 posts, read 2,778,827 times
Reputation: 5313
Appreciate all of the responses, but I will never agree that these so called tests are a figment of my imagination. To most guys, these tests are a daily occurance and we have to deal with them almost all of the time. There are hundreds of sources, scientific and otherwise, that speak of women testing men, so I couldnt possibly agree that its something trivial or non-existent. As to all of the ladies responding with, I dont do that, I will assume that either : A) you perform these tests subconsciously or B) you truly are a rare find, and dont perform these tests at all. Must have been very unlucky to date dozens of females and being tested nonstop by each and every one of them, maybe I need to date more? Once again, I dont think its a bad thing, just something of interest to me. thanks again
 
Old 01-28-2012, 05:04 PM
 
19,081 posts, read 12,581,190 times
Reputation: 13237
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
LMAO Nice way to put it into perspective.
It is just the tip of the iceberg, tho. It's an aspect of how I lure my husband into chick flicks where subliminal messages exist to...*cough* *cough* I've already said too much!
 
Old 01-28-2012, 05:07 PM
 
251 posts, read 229,588 times
Reputation: 356
I don't know about the other "tests" but a lot of public restrooms are dirty and the hooks where you hang your bag are broken off or missing. I will always leave my coat and bag with my husband or friends at the table rather than bringing them in and trying to balance while carrying them. I also make it a point to tell him that I am leaving my bag at the table so he doesn't wander off and leave it sitting unattended.
 
Old 01-28-2012, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,510 posts, read 12,048,177 times
Reputation: 9109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
It is just the tip of the iceberg, tho. It's an aspect of how I lure my husband into chick flicks where subliminal messages exist to...*cough* *cough* I've already said too much!
Mods, can't we get her for...I dunno....treason or something?

 
Old 01-28-2012, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
16,518 posts, read 8,960,495 times
Reputation: 16540
I'm not even sure what most of these "tests" are testing! How is asking someone to watch my purse while I go to the restroom a test? Am I testing if he's a thief or something? I've asked people to watch my things for me while I've gone to the restroom - although I'll usually take my lipstick with me - but it was never a test. It's usually when I have a really heavy book or something in my purse and I don't feel like lugging it to the restroom. I've never realized that what I was actually doing was giving that person a test!

I think some of the things that you are describing are probably subconscious if they are even tests at all. There have been times when I've been upset with my husband and I'll do something silly to get back at him or make myself feel better. He'll laugh and point out what I did - and then I'll realize why I did it and I'll laugh with him. But I've never purposely tested anyone.

Yes - there are some women out there that do play games and do test their men. So - you either have a "type" and that happens to be the type that play games - or you are reading way too much into things.
 
Old 01-28-2012, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, Arizona
1,574 posts, read 1,133,934 times
Reputation: 3676
The OP is right about tests that women put men through.


However - I am untestable and immune to the little games that women play (and at the same time deny playing, which is part of their games).


But, I have witnessed the exact same scenarios that the OP listed with my guy friends going through "tests" with the women they are with.

More importantly, I had a front row seat to the tests that a guy was put through before an ex-girlfriend of mine that was with him married him.

I originally let her go and we broke off the relationship for almost a decade before getting back together again. She was married at the time and got divorced once we were back together, and the clown she was married to found out.

Now: I learned alot about the tests that she put him through when they were initially dating, then engaged and married. It was shoking to see what he had to endure just to get what any other guy could have had with her without the tests, if they were just willing to not tolerate that nonsense.

For starters. She had numerous guy friends that were "just friends" when she was engaged to idiot-boy. She explained to me while I nodded my head (although in amazement) that she told her fiance that if he couldn't handle her guy friends then that mean that he really did not love her. Total catch-22, but ingenious way of manipulating the guy she was with.

Despite her promiscuous sexual behavior throughout her life. She made the guy she married "wait" until they were married until they could have sex, and he did because he thought he was marrying a vestial virgin in a sense and was willing to wait. (While she cheated on him during the engagement and eventually during her marriage).

She moved into her parents house while engaged to him (after having an apartment with one of her girlfriends) and told him he needed to buy a house before the wedding because she was not going to move into his apartment. He bought the house, although she got half of it in the divorce two years later.

He had to tolerate her barely working, while they were married, while spending her free time hanging out with her girlfriends and going on vacations with her. . . . parents. Yeah, two week vacations with her mom and dad while he worked, paid the mortgage and was a sacrifical lamb to her every need and whim. All while being convinced that was normal and what he should do, as she explained: if he really loved her.

She convienently got a little sloppy and got "caught" having her affair with me while she was married, but once again as she even explained to me in her own words - that she figured if he found out, she would know how much he loved her by fighting for her and wanting to save the marriage and if he didn't then that would mean he really didn't love her and she could be with me. Totally twisted logic if you can even call it that, but that is how her brain operated. He bailed out and got a divorce.

And all he had to show for it after all of the tests was years of his life vanished into thin air, a house he bought while they were engaged, sold and half of the money from it, a few more grey hairs, a broken heart and confusion as to why he endured and passed so many tests and for so long, only to have to give up when he refused to pass one of the greatest tests he faced when he found out she was cheating on him while married. Which was, does he stay with her in some pathetic kind of attempt at showing her that he loved her and would accept her behavior although it meant having to share her with another man or men. He did the right thing by opting out of the tests at that point and got his life back the moment he made that decision.

Now, why was I with her. Simple - unfinished business from our first relationship over a decade prior. I was just like the clown she was married to only younger. Once I let the sociopath back in the gates, I systematically asserted my autonomy and personal freedom as well as my ability to control a woman that had previously been uncontrollable. Her claims at loving me "sooooooo" much and the fact that she actually thought she felt that way led her to get onboard with the new operation. I put my foot down regarding all of her guy friends that were "just friends" - whatever. And I let her know that it was going to be over in 5 seconds if she still let them hoover around her like the losers they were. I got her off harder, longer and better than any other guy before so I had that card in the deck and played it whenever she needed to be reminded how to behave and treat a man she was with. Although not a psychologist or trained professional, I dealt with her pathological lying, childish and immature behavior and issues like a pro. It was challenging and wore me out after a while, but so totally worth it. At one point, I think her brain started to rewire and she was almost cured from being a deceptive, manipulative narcissist, but I got bored and let her go again. She was actually relieved when it was over because she was allowed to go back to being the human trainwreck she always was and without having to answer to anyone and she moved on to another guy that was just like her husband, eventually cheating on him and securing a new sacrificial lamb to slaughter at the altar known as her warped life.

Sky-O
 
Old 01-28-2012, 05:11 PM
 
2,023 posts, read 3,565,136 times
Reputation: 1559
GOD HELP the man who wants my attention while the Patriots are playing. Heck, even my male dog knows that it's better to stay away.

I don't play games. IMO, it's a juvenile way to find out absolutely NOTHING of value about a potential mate. But, with that being said, I will say that women do not have the exclusive rights to game playing. Most people have enough drama in their lives. I can't imagine wanting to INVITE more.

Why do *people* do this? IMO, it has a lot to do with ones sense of self. Rather than saying, point blank, "this is how I feel about ______", a lot of people seem to think that it's better (and easier) to let others guess and somehow "prove their worth" by passing some unspoken test. To me, that's simply not fair.

Whatever happened to honest communication? It went the way of the dodo when people came to realize that they could play these games and come out scot-free when others didn't pass their arbitrary tests.

Quote:
Originally Posted by misiu007 View Post
There are hundreds of sources, scientific and otherwise, that speak of women testing men,
Care to cite some of these scientific sources?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:46 PM.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top