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I've never participated in online dating sites, but I don't know why there would be an option for short term dating. Maybe they think men will be more responsive if they make it obvious they aren't trying to walk him down the aisle on the first date?
I think it's there as an option if you find out the person is a Freakozoid several dates in
OP, I can relate, at least to some extent. I know exactly how easy it is to read through profiles and make quick decisions based on the photos or what they have written. But I also know that it's hard to present yourself in an appealing way on any kind of dating site. It's hard to convey who you really are and it's hard to figure out what might appeal to the people who you hope are reading your profile. And I also know that men and women go about this in a completely different way. No surprise there!
So while you are sitting there thinking that the guy is showing off or that he's shallow, he might be thinking that he's truly putting out there what matters to him. He might be proudly indicating his success (rather than his debt). He might be offering a glimpse of what matters to him (his home, trips he has taken, his dog).
And yes, he might be someone you would not like in real life at all.
But maybe one way to step out of your shyness a bit would be to exchange some conversation with some of these guys. Maybe go on a first date or two or three to find out if there might be something beyond the profile they present. If it doesn't work out, you've at least gone and talked and stepped out of your shyness a bit. You might have a story to tell about a terrible date.
Or maybe you'll find out that one of those guys has worked hard for his success and that he might not be great at writing a profile but he makes for a very nice dinner companion.
Good points. Maybe someone wants to show they are ambitious. Maybe a fine line to walk, but maybe they want someone who would appreciate them too!
Good points. Maybe someone wants to show they are ambitious. Maybe a fine line to walk, but maybe they want someone who would appreciate them too!
Do they want someone who will appreciate them or what they have?
We are definitely looking at this situation differently. All I'm seeing is this person thinking like this: "ladies! Look at me! I'm so cool, I have all these things! I have got to have your attention! You ladies should be creaming yourselves over me right now!"
And I'm not always the wisest but I really do trust my gut feeling.
I got a pof last year, just to see what was around (recently joined match for similar reasons)...since then, one of my friend married a guy she met from there and another is in a serious relationship with a guy she met from there. For me, I've met a ton of creepy guys...just the other day a 66 year old messaged me, even though I do have age restrictions turned on. There are definitely a good many losers on dating sites...I do not find it attractive when a guy is in a picture with another girl-it makes me wonder what hat girl is and if I can't tell it's a sister or relative or close friend, then I'm not going to message him. I think what guys think girls want to know and what girls actually want to know are two totally different things. They think they understand how females work but in reality they have no clue.
I don't do online dating but two friends of mine got married from match.com. Granted, one is divorced now but the other is happily married. The happily married one was on there for several years and kissed a lot of frogs (she was very patient and tolerant) before she met her prince.
So after that whole saga, I decided to go back on Match this past weekend, after a really long time. My first impression; about 50% of the guys are the very same guys from three years ago! No kidding. They are still there. Still looking for "the one".
Yup! I noticed that as well. I was on Match.com quite a while back — same thing as you, **years** ago. I didn't meet anyone and ended up meeting someone IRL and getting into a very serious relationship. After we broke up, I decided to give Match.com one more try. I was astonished at how many familiar faces I saw. Don't these people ever take a break? I'd feel like a loser if I were on Match.com for years.
I know quite a few people who have had success on Match.com and who've even married the person they met. I'm in a serious relationship with someone I met on the site, so I can believe it can work. One thing that I liked about his profile was that he didn't have a big laundry list of what he absolutely "had to have" in a relationship.
I have a theory about dating sites. All of the relatively sane people find each other pretty quickly and couple up. My S.O. was literally the second guy I went out with, and I was his third. What's left behind are the people who stay on the site FOR-EVER. And they're there for a reason.
P.S. I love my cat dearly, but I will never place a pet before a person.
I'm thinking online dating is full of losers and players. Not all hun, there about the same as guys you might meet IRL.
I think that is a perception that is easily made when someone has put their info on display, their "About me " stuff and the pics they choose...
I am by no means saying that there aren't players or jerks online but THEY are not alike this...
I.E. I dated a gentleman whom had one pic on his profile. His profile was modest and so forth. When I finally met him ( We lived 4 hours apart) he ended up owning his own business, was a mechanical engineer, had a corvette a very nice camaro and owns a beautiful home in woodland hills.
He was very nice and respectful and never once flaunted his job or material possessions..the reason we cut it off? He moved way to fast..was ready for marriage and children and wanted me to move in and have babies a year after we were married which he was not going to wait a year before getting married...sheesh! Unfortunately, I can be painfully shy when approached by men IRL and don't do well, unless they are the aggressive Type A personality like that MIA guy. So real life interraction with men will continue to be a challenge. Like I stated this could happen meeting someone IRL.
So after that whole saga, I decided to go back on Match this past weekend, after a really long time. My first impression; about 50% of the guys are the very same guys from three years ago! No kidding. They are still there. Still looking for "the one".
Some even had the nerve to say "welcome back!". LOL! Yip, been there and done that, heard the stories of why and so forth.
The profiles are even more disturbing. Someone is standing between his Mercedes sports and BMW X5 with a big smile on his face. First of all, why the need for two expensive cars if you're single as you claim? Big red flag. And I really don't get where these people come from with all this flashy business. Is that meant to impress women? Do they realize that on the other hand, they are flashing how much debts they have for all to see? I don't believe these people are rich. Can't speak for other women but to me it's a HUGE turn off. I love mystery. Reading between the lines. For example, why not just say what you do for a living, and let people figure out the rest? Or have pictures you took in different destinations around the world and let us figure out the rest? Another interesting profile didn't even have a profile picture, just pictures of his mansion, pool, boat, and cars. Really weird. Not weird..Some men feel that if they show "stability" flash what they have they will be attracting the "type" of woman they are seeking. Some men after speaking with them are flashing all of this to mask other insecurities they have regarding what they feel they lack to offer..
Another profile; "you must love my dog Coco first if you want me to love you!!" Sheesh, okay!
Another has a profile picture of his dog, lol! Not sure who is more ridiculous between the one with a profile picture of his dog or the one who put (I assume) his house. Some have pictures of themselves hugging some women
I mean, are men really that clueless? lol..yup..the women thing? I think men try and post pics of them with attractive women that often times are "photo opps" or just friends for the appearance that they have "pull" and can get these women..lol..then why are you here? lol...I agree that this is a HUGE turn off...lol
Anyhow, I still believe underneath all that garbage, there must be some real gems, so I'm hopeful. I just started exchanging few emails with a seemingly nice Jewish guy and hopefully things will move in the right direction.
I would like to hear from the ladies and their experiences on this website, but all comments are appreciated.
I have had some doozy's, some stalkers, some that leave you saying"Really" ahahahaha....but you live and you learn..You learn that love is not right away, that sometimes you will be attracted to someone who you would have never given the time of day IRL but ended up to be total sweetheart! I am no longer online and ended up meeting my current bf whom I knew from around town..friends of friends...but I am not going to knock online dating...I know people whom met their spouses online back in 2000 and are now married...
Yup! I noticed that as well. I was on Match.com quite a while back — same thing as you, **years** ago. I didn't meet anyone and ended up meeting someone IRL and getting into a very serious relationship. After we broke up, I decided to give Match.com one more try. I was astonished at how many familiar faces I saw. Don't these people ever take a break? I'd feel like a loser if I were on Match.com for years.
Guess what? Some of those "familiar faces" might be seeing yours and thinking the exact same thing.
I have a theory about dating sites. All of the relatively sane people find each other pretty quickly and couple up. My S.O. was literally the second guy I went out with, and I was his third. What's left behind are the people who stay on the site FOR-EVER. And they're there for a reason.
So cute!! I feel the same way, which is why I got the 1-month subscription.
I'm ok with "mirror" pics...what I don't get are those AWFUL pictures many men post that make them look worse than criminals. I try not to be shallow, but if you think that's your BEST picture...then I'm scared to meet you in person! And men wonder why girls take all the looking-up-in-the-camera shots...it's because it makes us look better than full-on or from below.
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Maybe they think men will be more responsive if they make it obvious they aren't trying to walk him down the aisle on the first date?
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