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Old 01-30-2012, 08:25 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,693 posts, read 19,006,430 times
Reputation: 11862

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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
Hmmm...I've never initiated first time sex. I let the man initiate and then he'll find out what I'm prepared or not prepared to do.

I'm sure it would offend a woman to be rejected like that.
He didn't say anything about rejecting her, just that he wasn't interested in having sex on a first date. I don't know if he considers himself a 'player' but perhaps this is a sign he wants something with a little more substance.

The other responses in this thread just confirms to me the double standard. I realise most guys include myself would be jumping at the chance for sex, including myself (although whether it would happen on the first date would depend on the circumstances), but that's no excuse to feel obliged when they feel pressured to have sex if they aren't willing to. If a guy pressures a girl for sex, and she turns him down, do you girls think he should get offended?

Not all men want to rush in like that too, you know. Some really are interested in the women - mind and body - but don't want to jump straight into things like a couple of chimps.
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Old 01-30-2012, 09:59 PM
 
1,096 posts, read 2,449,155 times
Reputation: 1037
I'm generally the one to initiate the making out or whatever but the women seem to be the ones who continue on and initiate the actual sex.

As for where I've been meeting these women it's been match, plenty of fish, and craigslist, yeah I know I guess that may explain the problem but where else do you meet people?

Some of the posts have been spot on in terms of describing the women. Some women have been the types to want to have sex and get locked into a relationship on the first date. Others however sleep with me and then never answer the phone or wanna hang out again.

I like making out and wouldn't even mind fooling around a little bit but not really looking to have sex with everyone I date on the first date. I thought about telling them I'd like to get to know them first or something but I'm sure that will be taken the wrong way and they'll think I think they aren't attractive or aren't into them or something like that.
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Old 01-30-2012, 10:24 PM
 
18,082 posts, read 17,319,882 times
Reputation: 17948
Quote:
Originally Posted by rfr69 View Post
Just curious what a womens reaction would be if a guy turns down first date sex? Btw i should mention these dates have started with kissing and they are always the ones wanting to take it to the bedroom. I dont want to seem like a prude and also dont want them to think im not into them but also dont want to sleep with everydate on the first nite
I dunno. I've never really been the one to offer it...it was always the guy wanting it.
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Old 01-30-2012, 10:32 PM
 
1,096 posts, read 2,449,155 times
Reputation: 1037
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I dunno. I've never really been the one to offer it...it was always the guy wanting it.
I'm the one who first initiates making out but they tend to be the ones that want to take things to the bedroom, or ask if I have condoms, or just start pulling my clothes off.

To be completely honest I recently had kind of a scare. Thought I had caught something, wound up just being a urinary infection but got me thinking that a few hours of fun is definately not worth the potential consequences of that fun, especially with someone who I'm never going to see again.

I like making out, and wouldn't even mind fooling around on a first date but want to stay away from sleeping with everyone I go on a date with. ALso, even if I am really into the women I'd like to take things a little slower moving forward and I'm afraid they'll think I'm a wierdo if they are ready to have sex and I dont want it.
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Old 01-30-2012, 10:36 PM
 
8,394 posts, read 7,247,526 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rfr69 View Post
Back in college had a lot of one night stands and wild times buttl had been dating someone exclusively for years. Just recently got back into the dating game been doing some online dating and every date turns into sex on the first date terrible problem to have right lol.

Anyhow i jave been wanting to stop this for two reasons first im scared of stds and sleeping with so many random people isnt good for odds but also none of these dates wind up turning into anything often not even hanging out again.

Just curious what a womens reaction would be if a guy turns down first date sex? Btw i should mention these dates have started with kissing and they are always the ones wanting to take it to the bedroom. I dont want to seem like a prude and also dont want them to think im not into them but also dont want to sleep with everydate on the first nite
I would think he was smart. In this day and age, you cannot risk your life. I'll tell you what I have always told my Son's. You don't have sex w/ anyone that you wouldn't want raising your child. Think about it. And, I work at an attorneys office, we had a case when a guy didn't even remember a gal that was suing him for a paternity test and child support. Guess what. Be smart!
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Old 01-30-2012, 10:41 PM
 
Location: So Cal
244 posts, read 160,758 times
Reputation: 127
There ARE many of us women who wouldn't like to have sex on the 1st date. So the answer is not all of us would be offended or think you are not into us if you don't pursue sex on the 1st date.
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Old 01-30-2012, 10:45 PM
 
461 posts, read 371,102 times
Reputation: 996
"I thought about telling them I'd like to get to know them first or something but I'm sure that will be taken the wrong way and they'll think I think they aren't attractive or aren't into them or something like that."

Who cares what they think? A woman with self esteem and wants the same as you won't have a problem. Cull the herd and speak up or be forever banished in early sex dramaland. If you want a real relationship with a woman who is capable of one, then state what you want in your profile. I don't care how hot you are, I'm not initiating sex on the first date period. The ones who do are married or koku crazy for cocopuffs.
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Old 01-30-2012, 11:04 PM
 
Location: So Cal
244 posts, read 160,758 times
Reputation: 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by myrevenge View Post
"i thought about telling them i'd like to get to know them first or something but i'm sure that will be taken the wrong way and they'll think i think they aren't attractive or aren't into them or something like that."

who cares what they think? A woman with self esteem and wants the same as you won't have a problem. Cull the herd and speak up or be forever banished in early sex dramaland. If you want a real relationship with a woman who is capable of one, then state what you want in your profile. I don't care how hot you are, i'm not initiating sex on the first date period. The ones who do are married or koku crazy for cocopuffs.
yes
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Old 01-30-2012, 11:50 PM
 
3,098 posts, read 2,178,410 times
Reputation: 3641
I turned it down once...but it was for a proposed ONS, she didnt have a condom and STILL wanted to go through with it...it spooked me that she was willing to do it WITHOUT protection, made me think 'how many guys has she been with who were not so 'strict' about this..no thanks
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Old 01-30-2012, 11:52 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,116 posts, read 6,376,960 times
Reputation: 7226
ladies, what would you think if a guy turns down first date sex?

I hope the batteries are charged/working, in my viabrator.
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