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Old 02-01-2012, 12:09 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
16,558 posts, read 9,053,429 times
Reputation: 16575

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I agree Dew, but do you sort of agree that that woman is making the assumption that the guy's only attraction towards her is because of sex, therefore, if he's not interested in sex RIGHT NOW then he's not attracted to her? I definitely understand it. I mean some guys might just be playing with her, but is it so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt that he cares for he is, is interested in a physical relationship, but wants to get to know her first?
On a first date where she doesn't know him at all? Yes. Even if a first date goes really well - you still don't really know the person. The only way to know if a guy (or girl) is really interested in getting to know you is by giving it time. That's why I tell my girlfriends not to sleep with a guy right away. My college roommate had really low self esteem and would sleep with guys she met at parties every weekend. And then she'd be surprised when they didn't call her the next day. She really thought that it was the start of a relationship. Doh! The only way to know if something is going to turn into a relationship and if the person really is who they appear to be is to give it time and actually find out!

But honestly - I think that if you are really truly looking for something deeper than a hookup or a one night stand - the first date is for getting to know someone - not for sleeping with them. A peck on the cheek or a hug seems like enough to me.
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Old 02-01-2012, 02:12 AM
 
573 posts, read 323,890 times
Reputation: 739
Quote:
Originally Posted by WakaFlocka View Post
Don't care. It's called self-control. Exercise it.
I'd do the same. My standards on sex are not so low.
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Old 02-01-2012, 02:31 AM
 
Location: So Cal
244 posts, read 166,096 times
Reputation: 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Blues View Post
I am your counter-part. I don't want sex on the first date (not moral reasons, but health and other reasons, mainly that a woman who would do that for me would do that for anyone - I'm no alpha, why is she throwing herself at me, she will stab me in the back and do that to another man in three days, etc.)

I'm not even going to kiss you or hug you, or even try to, or even hint at it. I don't know you well enough to know if you want that or not, so best to do nothing at all until you give me a sign, and not until I sense there's chemistry. In fact, I might not even touch you either, as that in itself can be read as sexual, which might offend you; you might not see me as sexually attractive so even doing that would be a faux pas; I go even further: I keep my eyes off your boobs for the most part too, as that can be read as gawking. Yes, I am old-fashioned. Hard being red-blooded as hell along with all that.
I'm amazed.
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Old 02-01-2012, 01:00 PM
 
1,833 posts, read 1,205,034 times
Reputation: 1588
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just1Fan View Post
Real talk?! Well, your a better man, than me. because if she comes knocking at my door... it's my duty, to please that booty.

It's not your duty to do anything. The only duty I have is to look out for myself.
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Old 02-01-2012, 01:20 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,691 posts, read 19,966,245 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
On a first date where she doesn't know him at all? Yes. Even if a first date goes really well - you still don't really know the person. The only way to know if a guy (or girl) is really interested in getting to know you is by giving it time. That's why I tell my girlfriends not to sleep with a guy right away. My college roommate had really low self esteem and would sleep with guys she met at parties every weekend. And then she'd be surprised when they didn't call her the next day. She really thought that it was the start of a relationship. Doh! The only way to know if something is going to turn into a relationship and if the person really is who they appear to be is to give it time and actually find out!

But honestly - I think that if you are really truly looking for something deeper than a hookup or a one night stand - the first date is for getting to know someone - not for sleeping with them. A peck on the cheek or a hug seems like enough to me.
I like the idea of building suspense. Sex on the first date sort of cheapens things, imo.
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Old 02-02-2012, 11:20 AM
 
Location: USA
9,928 posts, read 5,350,442 times
Reputation: 7438
[quote=mir86;22794986]so when a man paces himself I actually think he genuinely really wants to get to know me and thus I'm more comfortable with him. quote]

And these are some simple rules that many men apparently can't seem to learn. The lack of patience is a sign of immaturity and just makes you that less desireable to the opposite sex. There are some equivelent rules that younger women don't follow either, but thats a different topic!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just1Fan View Post
Really? How about with this one?

Or, this one?
Almost every man or woman whould make an exception to the no first date sex rule. Hmm, that would make a good post!

Last edited by LS Jaun; 02-02-2012 at 11:39 AM..
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Old 02-02-2012, 11:29 AM
 
Location: USA
9,928 posts, read 5,350,442 times
Reputation: 7438
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I like the idea of building suspense. Sex on the first date sort of cheapens things, imo.
Anticipation and waiting makes it that much better..Building, building, building, building....BOOM!

But, you can wait too long. It's like cooking soup: You take your spoon and stir the pot slowly. Its gets warmer and thicker as you stir it. It starts to bubble. But, if you wait too long, it gets thick and cold. Then you take a break and leave the kitchen. Only to find your brother endulging in the soup and taking a big drink when you come back
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Old 02-02-2012, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Valdez, Alaska
2,758 posts, read 2,410,117 times
Reputation: 2661
If a girl reacts really badly to something that's important to you, then you've learned enough to not waste any more time with her. Move on to someone with more compatible values and a higher sense of self-worth.

You should probably also stop making out with them on a first date if you don't want to go any further.
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Old 02-03-2012, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
4,724 posts, read 2,377,005 times
Reputation: 4858
I'm a guy who has never refused a one-night stand or first-date sex. Did many of these events go nowhere? Yes? But the reason wasn't that I thought the girl was cheap. It was most often because the sexual chemistry was not there or there were other good signs that the person I was together with was afraid of losing control or had a personality that exuded negativism. But mainly, as I just wrote, it was because they didn't seem to like sex as much as i do.

Would i ever marry a girl I had a one-night stand with? I did.
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