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Why do people "fall out" of love so quickly? My last relationship lasted about a year and we broke off after that. She said she had "fallen out" of love. This was the same person that told me when we met that she hasn't felt this much chemistry with anyone before. How can such a thing happen? This is what scares me and every person I date I guess I am now very cynical of their intentions which I know is a bad thing. I was pretty much the same person throughout this relationship so I was just very surprised why things changed. I'm still trying to figure out why people fall out of love.
People talk about this electric feeling that you are supposed to feel, this intensity, butterflies in your stomach etc. but frankly I have not felt such a thing for anyone so far. Infact, in the initial stages of dating I just have a friendship and the deep attachment occurs much later...but even so, I have never been totally overwhelmed by a person so far. It seems many expect that they need to feel that instant chemistry and the surreal feeling. Many people have told me that they are not willing to "settle" for anything less than this feeling of total awe.
So my question... when you meet the right person are you supposed to be overcome with emotions, butterflies in your stomach etc.? If you don't feel this can you conclude right away that it is not the right person? And when are you supposed to feel like this...after the first date? second date??
chemistry is mindless usually based on what happened in home of origin.
the glue is definitely weaker. 42 million divorces later (since 1975) doubt is a big player on the field. sadly many of us do not question our emotions at all.
first: if she fell out of love--it wasnt actually love. and it's not you it's her. people change and they feel one thing and then all of a sudden feel another.
will you be completely overwhelmed? maybe. but be patient. not every person you meet is the one. they are experiences you will go through to learn human nature. only the one is the one.
you wont hear music or see fireworks. you will just have a feeling of complete calm inside. you will just know.
for some its the first time, for some it takes longer.
People fall out of love all the time. Or should I say, they lose that tingly feeling over time. Eventually the excitement and newness wears off. After that, it's about how can you keep it interesting. What new things can you do together, for each other?
Love is just a word. Actions and emotions are the real things.
Sometimes you see a person through "loving" eyes. You've fallen in love.
But things happen to open your eyes. Maybe s/he is not the person you thought, or maybe they did something that made you scratch your head. You may still love them very much, but not like them at all.
You have to remember that EVERYONE of us at some point has had that feeling of giddyness (sp??), that butterflies in the stomach feeling, etc, etc..
And, when you start dating and things get serious, for a lot of women (and sometimes men too) that feeling gets confused with LOVE, often it's lust or just a very strong chemical attraction. I do not believe that people fall "out" of love. I do agree with the poster that suggested if they can fall "out" of love then they were never truly IN love to begin with.
Don't let it make you feel cynical though, you just have to believe that there are still good people whom you will met that you can have a successful relationship with. I also believe that when you get into a funk, you are in a pattern, you have to take time out for yourself, learn what you are doing wrong to attract those kinds of people who are disappointing you and then fix the issue then and only then will you meet new sorts of people who will be right for you.
Many confuse sexual attraction or great sex for love.... The "Hasn't felt this much chemistry with anyone before." comment reeks of this....
Yeah, sex with someone different is typically pretty exciting. Then after you've done it a hundred times with the same person it may become 'old hat', and that supposed "chemistry" suddenly isn't so powerful.
I guess it's easy to confuse the two things, but sexual attraction without a strong emotional connection will NEVER work in the long term.
Yeah, sex with someone different is typically pretty exciting. Then after you've done it a hundred times with the same person it may become 'old hat', and that supposed "chemistry" suddenly isn't so powerful.
All the more reason to have loads of sex with your partner before you get married - to see if it's truly love!
People who 'fall out of love' are not ready for a long term relationship. Marriage has many ups and downs, it isn't all chemistry and attraction for 50 years. You have to work on a marriage.
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