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So, you would you be cool with your girl bringing her other guy home and having sex in your bed, eating food out of your refrigerator, and sitting on your couch, watching your tv?
That's all cool with you?
What's next, you sleep on the couch and he sleeps with your girl? Maybe he'll start bringing friends over to your house too. Why not?
To me, it's disrespectful. If a person is a cheater, they're going to cheat, and there honestly isn't much that you can do about it, but if you give them the green light, how are you going to regulate who they are sleeping with?
How do you know if she's having unprotected sex with somebody that has STD's? What if you decide you want kids? What then?
Are you kids going to witness all these different guys at your house, spending time with their mother in a sensual way?
lol, Dont be too hard on TD. The idea of this sort of nonsense is more pleasing to the ear than the act itself. He may be thinking of it from the perspective of having to sample a different woman every now and then...til the day its the turn of his Mrs to get stuffed. Then again, there are tons of swingers out there so it may not be such a big deal to him...
To each his or her own...but the answer is a solid HELL NO for me and mine!
I would certainly not be agreeable to an open relationship.
I think it might cause me to suddenly not trust her either, wondering if she has already been with someone or not, and now is trying to find an agreement so she isn't "caught" cheating.
Marriage counselor is right... at the very least. That one would be a LOT of sessions and work to try and straighten out.
There is a thread about open relationships. Which led me to think about another question. What if right now your significant other asked you about having an open relationship? Where would you stand on it. What would you do if your partner approached you with this idea. This can be a new partner (someone you just started dating) or someone you've been married too for many years. How would them asking that question effect your relationship? Or would it effect your relationship?
Your thoughts please.
I'd say I did not spend enough time getting to know my
partner before we became more serious.
Your blowing this way out of perspective. Anyone who practices an open relationship both approve of the others hook up. Also, its not a "lets hang out at my place" kind of deal. Usually they meet up at houses/clubs, etc. That have swingers parties. From there the couple can introduce themselves to other couples to explore. There is never an emotional attachment, purely a physical one.
Also, the kids would be completely left out of this. It wouldn't involve them. The same way any normal divorced parent would hide sex or new boyfriends from their kids.
It's still way to perverted for me. I saw a true crime episode the other day where a couple were doing this. Then the women falls in love with one of her partners (not her husband). She developed feelings for him. Started seeing him on the side. Lost interest in sex with her real husband. Then convinced her daughter to kill her husband for insurance money and to be with the other guy. She fell in love with one of the swingers. However, the one she fell in love with had no desire to leave his own family/wife for her. He was just using her. His wife didn't even know about his extra marital affairs.. Was not the daughters biological husband (stepfather) but still. Just saying. I know that's a bit bizzare, but so isn't the whole scenario..Some cans just shouldn't be open.
So, you would you be cool with your girl bringing her other guy home and having sex in your bed, eating food out of your refrigerator, and sitting on your couch, watching your tv?
That's all cool with you?
What's next, you sleep on the couch and he sleeps with your girl? Maybe he'll start bringing friends over to your house too. Why not?
To me, it's disrespectful. If a person is a cheater, they're going to cheat, and there honestly isn't much that you can do about it, but if you give them the green light, how are you going to regulate who they are sleeping with?
How do you know if she's having unprotected sex with somebody that has STD's? What if you decide you want kids? What then?
Are you kids going to witness all these different guys at your house, spending time with their mother in a sensual way?
Don't be an idiot. If you want to raise ridiculous scenarios that's your right, but you're doing so dishonestly. Perhaps you'd be so stupid as to do things the way you described, if you were to do it at all, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt by not believing you're that mentally incompetent.
It seems that you don't want to try to understand an alternative viewpoint in order to discuss it, so you simply bash what you can't. I understand your kind of response, but have no respect for that kind of thinking. It's great to intelligently discuss the issues even if you vehemently disagree, but please, show a little respect for others.
Do people understand the ramifications of an open relationship?
Absolutely. Intimately.
Quote:
I think a major part of being in a relationship is showing self restraint and being disciplined. That's what a commitment is, and it's how you establish trust.
Strangely trust was one of the ramifications of opening our relationship. Trust in the openness and honesty of communication. Trust that we can speak about ANYTHING with love, caring and understanding.
Quote:
If I went out and had sex with every girl that made a pass at me, what sort of loyalty am I showing to my significant other?
That is not how open relationships work. That is actually usually how cheating works. Open relationships involve communication, agreement...
Strangely trust was one of the ramifications of opening our relationship. Trust in the openness and honesty of communication. Trust that we can speak about ANYTHING with love, caring and understanding.
That is not how open relationships work. That is actually usually how cheating works. Open relationships involve communication, agreement...
I appreciate your response as well as everyones. Let's try to be respectful to each others opinions. Me personally, I think that you are rationalizing the heck out of everything to suit your own situation. But once again, that's just my opinion. If it truly works for you-god bless. It's nothing I could personaly handle nor is it something I would ever want. I take solace in the fact that I am the only one to make love to my girl and vica versa. There is something very comforting in knowing that. There is something sacred there. I feel special knowing she only wants me. Call me naive or whatever
If my beloved husband asked me to consider this lifestyle, my first question would be,
WHAT TIME IS THE APPT WITH THE MARRIAGE COUNSELOR?
You're generous. I thought the appt was gonna be with a lawyer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus
I'd say "sure honey, just meet me at the lawyer's office first so we can get those divorce papers filed".
Because while he may be asking for an "open marriage" what I'd be hearing is "I think I can do better but I don't want to leave the safety of this relationship until I figure that out for sure".
Strangely trust was one of the ramifications of opening our relationship. Trust in the openness and honesty of communication. Trust that we can speak about ANYTHING with love, caring and understanding.
That is not how open relationships work. That is actually usually how cheating works. Open relationships involve communication, agreement...
Don't you think it's naive to think that way?
For example, if I abandoned my moral compass, and decided to ask for an open relationship, what makes you think that I wouldn't have sex with every girl that I could?
Why not? I have a free pass. Even if my significant other found out, we have an open relationship, so what difference does it make?
What you're doing is narrowly defining an open relationship in order to psychologically be able to handle it. Well, if that's the case, then why have an open relationship at all? At some point, you're going to get your feelings hurt....or worse.
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