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itsnot rare,its normal. You guys keep hanging on to these outdated nonsensical notions of the 50's where women didnt work and expected their way paid, and being pampered left and right. You earn your own money, the guy doesnt owe you crap. Get with the times, seriously.
Take the lady to a cheap place and risk being labeled cheap and not worthy of a 2nd date.
Take the lady to an expensive place and risk making her feel uncomfortable
and not interested in a 2nd date.
If you tell her you have a cat and happen to have bushy eyebrows you are
also toast.
The lady, wanting to be nice but no longer interested, will ***** foot around
and not communicate clearly leaving the guy unsure of where he stands and
eventually he will land up here posting about how women play games. LOL
If it's a first date with a guy I'm meeting off OkCupid, I'm fine with coffee. I don't want someone I don't know spending much on me. If it's someone I know and we've had time to build a friendship, then I hope our first date (especially if we both are pretty sure there will be subsequent dates) we to go to a decent restaurant.
My last boyfriend took me to a really nice restaurant for our first date, which was really sweet. I knew before the first date that we were going to be together, so I enjoyed it and didn't expect him to spend that much thereafter. He enjoyed spending money to take me to nice places, but I made it a point to keep my portion of the bill as low as possible. We've broken up, but I still make it a point to spend money on him when I can as a way to sort of repay him. He doesn't expect it, but it makes me feel better because of how much he spent on me while we were together because I was poor and couldn't afford what he could. He's never held it over me.
Now that I'm dating again, I don't want guys I don't know spending much on me because I feel like I'm using them if I don't like them in the end, especially if they don't have much money.
I think this thread demonstrates that there are all kinds of attitudes from women regarding the expenses of dates. What's a guy to do but to err on the side of caution and pay for a nice but not lavish date? Add a few of them together, it gets expensive.
I think this thread demonstrates that there are all kinds of attitudes from women regarding the expenses of dates. What's a guy to do but to err on the side of caution and pay for a nice but not lavish date? Add a few of them together, it gets expensive.
I can understand this point of view. Personally, I would feel really weird going on a first date with someone I barely knew and having him drop a whole lot of cash on me. I think that should be saved for special occasions and such. For the first date - I really just want to get to know someone - I could care less if money is involved at all. But that's me. I used to think I was just a typical woman - but maybe I'm not. Who knows!
I remember talking to this guy in a pet shop one time and he was going on and on about how he had taken out this girl the night before and dropped over $1000 on her and how she ran into an old boyfriend on their date and went and talked to him for awhile. He was really ticked off about the whole thing. He was also in his 40's and made a point to tell me that she was a model in her 20's. My opinion was that he was a totally obnoxious guy who was trying to date some arm candy and show off how much money he had because that was the only way to get said arm candy. I thought it was pathetic - on both their parts. But maybe this is more common than I thought.
I think this thread demonstrates that there are all kinds of attitudes from women regarding the expenses of dates. What's a guy to do but to err on the side of caution and pay for a nice but not lavish date? Add a few of them together, it gets expensive.
Yeah, I see where you are coming from.
I went out on a date once with a guy I met through a friend. The guy suggested an upscale steak house. At the end of the date, he looks at me and says, "So, you got this?"
I paid the check and once we were outside, I let him have it. I told him that it was HIS idea to pick the place, and how did he know whether or not I had money? He then told me that's how guys feel all the time. I saw his point, but I explained that I do expect a guy to pay for the first date, and I am not adverse to going somewhere free or low cost (I refuse to use the word "cheap" in reference to dates). If we make it to the second date, I will offer to pay.
By that logic , I could say my car, my clothes, basically everything I spend money on in my life, constituted "dating expenses."
The things she spends on to make herself look good are for his benefit. If she's just staying home to do laundry, she's not going to buy a new outfit & shoes, and get her hair & nails done.
Likewise, if a man spends money on new clothes for a date (or anything, specifically for that date), that can be included in his dating expenses.
However, women are more likely than men to spend lots of money on fixing themselves up for a date. Most men expect a woman to look good when he takes her out. And looking good costs money.
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