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RMCU-
I'm not sure if you are going to keep in contact with her son or not, but I will say this, for the child's sake, it is not fair that you simply disappear. I know that you are not the father and this woman should have never let you get so close to her son so soon, but you cannot simply drop out of this child's life now. You need to talk to someone professionally about the best way of doing this but if you simply disappear, this sets a precedent that you don't want to start.
The women who have a child out of wedlock just do it out of their own pity and do not think of the consequences.
Yet another offensive post in a thread full of them. How do we give negative reputation points? A woman may have a child out of wedlock for any number of reasons. What if she was sexually assaulted? What if the pregnancy was an accident? Birth control isn't 100% effective. What if she doesn't believe in abortion or isn't willing to give up the baby for adoption? Us men can judge women all we want, but none of us have had to carry a life inside of us for 9 months and get attached to it. For a lot of these women, aborting the child or giving it away would be the easy way out. The child is out of the picture and not a burden to them. But some choose to keep the child, knowing that it'll make their life a lot more difficult. It takes a pretty brave person to do that. People make bad choices all the time. But taking responsibility for them is something we should be praising.
I agree......I'm 27 and i'd be so disapointed if somone didn't date me because I happened to have a kid.....on the other hand.....any "man", and I use that word loosley, who wouldn't date somone just because they had a kid is actually not a man at all......It takes somone real to open their heart and life to a single parent........but in the end, it's sooo more than worth it!
I'm a single dad and there are an abundance of women out there who will not date me because of it. Does that mean they are not women?
There are a LOT of complications and challenges to dating a single parent and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to do it.
My commitment is to my child. That is my number one priority. Relationships can begin and end but the relationship to my child is continuous. It will be protected at all costs.
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Bravo.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
I may not matter, but don't delude yourself into believing that too many men will put up with your telling them they don't matter. Your posts are a pretty good summary of the reasons many of us don't want to touch parents of small children with a 10-foot pole.
She's a good parent, and a good parent is ALWAYS going to put their relationship with their children ahead of other relationships in their lives. That is the biggest reason why any person, man or woman, should think twice about dating a single parent. A boy/girlfriend without children will be able to offer you more time, money, attention, etc.
I'm not trying to convince people not to date single parents, or I'd never have a date. I just think everyone should know what they are getting into and have realistic expectations.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lola8822
That would be the only negative in dating somone with a child.....getting attached and then having it end just like that.....hard on you, hard on her and most importantly.....hard on the child. This is why, if I were single, I would make sure my relationship had tons of potential before even thinking about introducing my child to anyone.
I'm a single dad and there are an abundance of women out there who will not date me because of it. Does that mean they are not women?
There are a LOT of complications and challenges to dating a single parent and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to do it.
Ummm......IMHO, it means either they have maturity issues or they don't like you as much as they let you think they do. Because when you really like somone should it matter if they have children?
Ummm......IMHO, it means either they have maturity issues or they don't like you as much as they let you think they do. Because when you really like somone should it matter if they have children?
If I like YOU, does that mean I'll like your sister, your mother, your daughter? I can like YOU personally, but might not be able to stand the OTHER people in your life.
Know how many men are told, "I hate it when you hang out with that guy Jeff (just for a name)." But with kids, you have no other choice--you can't move away from them if you don't like them.
If I like YOU, does that mean I'll like your sister, your mother, your daughter? I can like YOU personally, but might not be able to stand the OTHER people in your life.
Know how many men are told, "I hate it when you hang out with that guy Jeff (just for a name)." But with kids, you have no other choice--you can't move away from them if you don't like them.
They're kids dude....seriously.....if you can't get along with kids....chances are you don't get along with many......I guess it doesn't matter though because anyone who can't at least get along with kids is not even worth the consideration in my book.
Ummm......IMHO, it means either they have maturity issues or they don't like you as much as they let you think they do. Because when you really like somone should it matter if they have children?
I don't agree. It's like saying that if you like someone it doesn't matter how much money they make, how much debt they have, where they live, how much time they spend at work, what their hobbies are etc.
Children significantly impact the dynamic of the relationship, a person could like me a lot but not like the type of relationship we'd have.
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