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This thread is all Chow's fault. He made me do it by posting this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I think he most likely does genuinely care about you, although the back and forth bit would get old, but anyway, I think he might be the type of dude that doesn't actually say the words, I think if you want this guy and like him and want to keep him around, you might have to accept in your heart that he might not be capable of saying the words... I know a lot of men have a hard time with verbalizing their feelings.
Not making excuses for him, but thinking about the end game and the cold hard realities of it.
Why do some guys have this problem? I have even seen this happen within long-term marriages. Why?
it sounds to me like he said he loves you, just not in words. while he may be over his ex, he may not be ready to actually say the words i love you back to you, yet. but he did show you in the form of action. some guys are that way.
Well, biologically speaking (and in general) men have less developed verbal sides of the brain (in favor of the part of the brain that controls hand-eye movement). That's why more men than women have problems with speech after a stroke. The theory behind it is the brain uses a lot of resources, so we evolved slightly differently. Men hunted and developed ways to hunt (hand eye, etc) better and women gathered and gathering takes more communication because you have to explain where to find the food, which foods are the right ripeness, etc, etc.
I think if more women just understood that a lot of men have a problem with saying, "I love you." And more men understood how extremely important it is to a lot of women to hear the words, "I love you." Then things would be better for both. Of course, you have to discuss that on a couple-by-couple basis really.
Men have been conditioned that it is feminine to express one's feelings so they hold them inside. Women say they want men to share their feelings but they would only resent them for showing "weakness" and not being strong enough for them if they actually did.
I think it's just how some people are. Some guys are brought up to think talking about their feelings is not a manly thing to do, for others it may be a pride thing, and some people think it's a testosterone thing. Honestly I don't think a lot of people like to feel vulnerable.
I'm not a guy but for me it's a pride, vulnerability, and fear of rejection thing. I have never been really good at showing people I like how I feel, let alone telling people how I feel about them. When I was a child, I was very affectionate but when it came to confessing to a guy how I felt, I always froze up.
Well, biologically speaking (and in general) men have less developed verbal sides of the brain (in favor of the part of the brain that controls hand-eye movement). That's why more men than women have problems with speech after a stroke. The theory behind it is the brain uses a lot of resources, so we evolved slightly differently. Men hunted and developed ways to hunt (hand eye, etc) better and women gathered and gathering takes more communication because you have to explain where to find the food, which foods are the right ripeness, etc, etc.
I think if more women just understood that a lot of men have a problem with saying, "I love you." And more men understood how extremely important it is to a lot of women to hear the words, "I love you." Then things would be better for both. Of course, you have to discuss that on a couple-by-couple basis really.
I think this is the answer.
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