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Just out of curiousity, to all of you in the mid-twenties, what percentage of 22-26 year old girls "go all the way" on the first date? Not bar pickups, or drunken hook-ups at parties, but actually "guy calling girl up and making plans to go someplace with them dates" ?
Maybe, I'm hopelessly out-fashioned but I think that there is a difference between "one night bar pick-ups" and going on a date.
Of course, I'm part of the older population who believe that oral sex (ala' Bill Clinton) is actual SEX and not the equivalent of shaking hands and saying "hello" to someone. It is still a puzzle to me when teenage girls INSIST that giving/receiving oral sex is NOT SEX. And, they can not understand how older people can possible view it as sex. Heck, it even has the word sex in it's name!
Just out of curiousity, to all of you in the mid-twenties, what percentage of 22-26 year old girls "go all the way" on the first date? Not bar pickups, or drunken hook-ups at parties, but actually "guy calling girl up and making plans to go someplace with them dates" ?
Maybe, I'm hopelessly out-fashioned but I think that there is a difference between "one night bar pick-ups" and going on a date.
Of course, I'm part of the older population who believe that oral sex (ala' Bill Clinton) is actual SEX and not the equivalent of shaking hands and saying "hello" to someone. It is still a puzzle to me when teenage girls INSIST that giving/receiving oral sex is NOT SEX. And, they can not understand how older people can possible view it as sex. Heck, it even has the word sex in it's name!
I doubt that her issues have anything at all to do with not having sex on the first date. That's totally ridiculous.
The truth is we can only speculate as to what the source of her difficulties are. If she's getting asked out on first dates, but not second dates, then I'm inclined to say it's a personality problem.
I had a similar problem and here's something I tried and it worked for me. After the 1st date, I send the guy a text saying I had a great time and to give me a call if he wants to hang out again. I'm sorta shy when I first meet someone so I've been told I come off as a little disinterested. I think sending a quick message let's the guy know you're interested and that he won't be rejected if he chooses to ask you out again.
Also, in response to germaine2626, I'm in my 20s and sex on the first date isn't as uncommon as you think. I'm not into it, but from conversations with my friends (girls and guys, also in their 20s, it happens pretty frequently).
Don't you think that it's also very convenient for a girl to say, after not getting called back for a 2nd date, "He was just looking to get laid, and I'm not that type of girl"? It sounds so believable when she tells her girlfriends.
Snd485 wrote: I had a similar problem and here's something I tried and it worked for me. After the 1st date, I send the guy a text saying I had a great time and to give me a call if he wants to hang out again. I'm sorta shy when I first meet someone so I've been told I come off as a little disinterested. I think sending a quick message let's the guy know you're interested and that he won't be rejected if he chooses to ask you out again.
That's a great idea. I think that my niece also is very shy & nervious when she meets new people and may not give off the right first impression.
It's so hard to say what's happening without actually being there. My daughter rarely comes out of a first date without a bunch of plans already in place for more. But she doesn't really date, she has relationships...meaning she rarely just "goes out" with someone she doesn't already know in some capacity so the initial getting to know you phase has already occured. And if the first date goes well it's just assumed that things are going to last awhile.
Listening to my Sons, a girl's being discovered as being 'Pro Obama', 'Pro "Life"', 'Pro Immigration', or 'Anti Evolution' instantly turn her into "Couldn't get rid of her fast enough." material. Also, they have extreme contempt for gals in worthless degree programs (and with Cinderella Complexes).
They are actually typical of kids in our crowd in our old town, in that regard. A look at Mississippi Magazine's wedding issue confirms that kids there are only marrying those with (or on-track for) degrees/careers equal in prestige and potential lucre. Being pretty (or the right race and religion) is far less important than having a Law degree.
Wearing obvious makeup, or having skanky painted nails, would prevent a girl from being asked out, in the first place. But the boys' discovering that girls are "typical princesses", is something which emerges on first dates. Deal breaker. They like no-nonsense women on good career paths, who have no time at all for typical female time-wasting (and mind games). They want someone who wants to get together and s#$%w...as an end objective...not as a ploy for getting possessive. The girls who end up at our breakfast table are the sort who have to be back at the hospital, because they are in residency...or who have to prep for the big case the firm is handling. They and Sons are checking their calendars, to see when they can get together again. Do I have to mention the boys like smart women?
Also, if Sons discover a gal has EVER done drugs, it's over before it began. Smoking is instant Anathema, and drinking more than a bit of wine means they may 'do' you once, but will not call you again (they've heard all their lives, that drinking causes inferior offspring, and do not want to father any losers).
Oh, and two more.... I've heard them, more than once, dismissing some little do-gooder as an "Amy Biehl". And gals prone to either 'Conservative' or 'Liberal' extremes are labeled "Wing Nuts". (They are well enough versed in Psychology, to know that Ideologue = Narcissist).
Last edited by GrandviewGloria; 02-06-2012 at 05:52 PM..
Sorry, your niece gave up her chances with me when she felt that a Rube Goldberg Machine was important
Stupid me just found out what it was. Who the hell cares?! This stuff and no sense of humor pretty much explains things. I bet they ask them for their 5-year plans!
Ok, so what is a Rube Goldberg Machine? I don't keep up on current anything, especially politics.
A machine (or system) that takes a simple task and employs an elaborate, complicated process to accomplish it.
[it's actually rather cool if you don't mind waiting for your orange juice]
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The guy who finds you will think - wow!, what a keeper. 
This stuff and no sense of humor pretty much explains things. I bet they ask them for their 5-year plans!
