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Ive been dating a girl off and on for 2 years. The off times were after ahe broke up with me. Except one time. I really deserved it. However, every time she breaks up with me she then gets upset that i try moving on. So she doesnt let me move on. She is jealous that i may have someone to spend time with or talk to. She holds onto one particular girl. She asked me not speak to this girl and we got back together. Even though i dont speak to this girl anymore and she was deleted from my FB and all she continues to get upset if i even remotely speak to someone. Just a casual convo on FB causes problems. However, she txts and FB friends. The other day she stopped over at her guy friends house at 1130 at night. She only told me afterwards that she did this. She swears nothing happened. And i kinda believe her. Only because she is the type to tell me she did just to see the look of pain on my face. She did his though after she clearly told be 2 weeks prior that she didnt want me meeting any girl anywhere. and she told me this because i called her out on hanging with another guy on a different day. She walks off on me when we argue but expects me to hear what she has to say. She gets on her phone when we argue and answers txts and what not. She says she cant trust me for certain things ive done in the past. Although i havent slept with anyone i have at time been excessively flirty with some girls and she knows this and says she cant trust me because of it. Ive told her many times that i understand it but it isnt fair to methat she hold all that against me when she has slep with someone else and that i have my reasons for having my doubts also. Ive told her that the same reasons she has for not trusting me i have also but she keeps saying that her actions are in the past and makes me feel as if im wrong for feeling the way i do. I think you get the picture. What do i do?
Dump her, NOW!! Avoid the drama! Find someone who treats you better.
I appreciate the thoughts everyone. Yeah....i know i should dump her. She is pretty toxic in her attitude. I guess its thatshe does good for a hit and because in committed i keep working and thinking its gonna get better. And she had gotten slightly better. Her biggesy moments of issue are whe. I call her out on things. Any suggestions for making realize her lack of fairness?
Tell her off, she what her reaction is. My take is she will try and turn the tables on you and blame you for her shortcomings. LIke I said in previous post, RUN FOR THA HILLS!!!
You're asking the wrong question. It should be "How can I get myself to see that this woman will never be what I want her to be?"
Easy - make a list of pros. Now make a list of cons. The cons will easily outweigh the pros.
It works, I've been there, the chick will never change - behavior is ingrained.
Ive been dating a girl off and on for 2 years. The off times were after ahe broke up with me. Except one time. I really deserved it. However, every time she breaks up with me she then gets upset that i try moving on. So she doesnt let me move on. She is jealous that i may have someone to spend time with or talk to. She holds onto one particular girl. She asked me not speak to this girl and we got back together. Even though i dont speak to this girl anymore and she was deleted from my FB and all she continues to get upset if i even remotely speak to someone. Just a casual convo on FB causes problems. However, she txts and FB friends. The other day she stopped over at her guy friends house at 1130 at night. She only told me afterwards that she did this. She swears nothing happened. And i kinda believe her. Only because she is the type to tell me she did just to see the look of pain on my face. She did his though after she clearly told be 2 weeks prior that she didnt want me meeting any girl anywhere. and she told me this because i called her out on hanging with another guy on a different day. She walks off on me when we argue but expects me to hear what she has to say. She gets on her phone when we argue and answers txts and what not. She says she cant trust me for certain things ive done in the past. Although i havent slept with anyone i have at time been excessively flirty with some girls and she knows this and says she cant trust me because of it. Ive told her many times that i understand it but it isnt fair to methat she hold all that against me when she has slep with someone else and that i have my reasons for having my doubts also. Ive told her that the same reasons she has for not trusting me i have also but she keeps saying that her actions are in the past and makes me feel as if im wrong for feeling the way i do. I think you get the picture. What do i do?
I'm not going to go through all the pages of comments but just based on ^^^this...you have a train wreck of a relationship going. Do yourselves a favor and end it and go your separate ways. If after 2 years there's all this on and off and arguements, I see no healthy relationship in the future. It seems either both of you like the drama. If she can't trust you, why does she get back with you? If you have doubts about her being faithful then why do you get back with her?
I think someone needs to grow up and mature a bit...
When I have a relationship with someone, it is NOT like a high school student to teacher type thing - where one will say you can't do this or that or must ask permission to do something.
Rather it is like a high school teacher to high school teacher relationship. We are both adults. We don't "tell" each other what to do. Rather make suggestions or recommendations. Then it is up to the other person to follow that advice or not. It is their "adult" choice.
So I never "tell" someone they can't have so and so for a friend or talk to that person. Rather I might "suggest" that they would be best to stay away from the person (their choice). And I would only say that if the person could potentially cause harm to my friend...
Maybe the person drives recklessly. I would say to my friend that they might live longer if they do not ride in that person's car. (Then their choice.)
Or maybe someone gets in trouble with the law frequently. I might say to my friend that they might be wise to stay away from that person. (Again their choice.)
And if they do not follow my advice, no biggie. I don't get upset about it. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink!
Ive been dating a girl off and on for 2 years. The off times were after ahe broke up with me. Except one time. I really deserved it. However, every time she breaks up with me she then gets upset that i try moving on. So she doesnt let me move on. She is jealous that i may have someone to spend time with or talk to. She holds onto one particular girl. She asked me not speak to this girl and we got back together. Even though i dont speak to this girl anymore and she was deleted from my FB and all she continues to get upset if i even remotely speak to someone. Just a casual convo on FB causes problems. However, she txts and FB friends. The other day she stopped over at her guy friends house at 1130 at night. She only told me afterwards that she did this. She swears nothing happened. And i kinda believe her. Only because she is the type to tell me she did just to see the look of pain on my face. She did his though after she clearly told be 2 weeks prior that she didnt want me meeting any girl anywhere. and she told me this because i called her out on hanging with another guy on a different day. She walks off on me when we argue but expects me to hear what she has to say. She gets on her phone when we argue and answers txts and what not. She says she cant trust me for certain things ive done in the past. Although i havent slept with anyone i have at time been excessively flirty with some girls and she knows this and says she cant trust me because of it. Ive told her many times that i understand it but it isnt fair to methat she hold all that against me when she has slep with someone else and that i have my reasons for having my doubts also. Ive told her that the same reasons she has for not trusting me i have also but she keeps saying that her actions are in the past and makes me feel as if im wrong for feeling the way i do. I think you get the picture. What do i do?
You dump her. Find a girl that treats you like you treat her, w/ mutual respect and hopefully you'll find a real love. No one should control you, or you her. But, she certainly shouldn't tell you not to do something she is doing. Move on, no contact....do not let he keep controlling you after you are done. that's my advice.
So, i am this dude's girlfriend that you guys are saying to drop and lose but let me also get my side of the story out that he forgot to mention. Yes, we started dating 2 years ago and from the get go when i started talking to him, i made it pretty clear about my child's father cheating on me numerous times, including while i was pregnant, and how that devastated me and shot my self esteem pretty low. Sure one might say why didnt you leave him, well, i wasnt told about these girls until he left me after giving birth. Anyway, told samcnurse this to begin with. Promised he wouldnt do anything like that me. Everything was fine, but then he met an old aquaintance of mine that started working with him. They got close, and rather than coming to me about problems, issues, etc., he went to her. Ok, whatever. Said something to him about it, it got better. Then i moved 3 hours away to finish my schooling, he went out to bars with this girl, hung out at her house and vice versa, and then went on vacation with this girl to washington, dc for like a week. I see a huge problem with that if he is in a relationship with someone. Ok, so he is then visiting me one night and gets a text from an "old friend" about wearing a sweatshirt and wondering whose it could be, which is susipicious all ready in itself. I have asked him not to talk to these 2 girls, because of what has happened and because i am uncomfortable with it unless i am around, i would like to be able to rebuild my trust. He has slept with people that he forgot to mention, 4 women in fact. So, i would say i am not as crazy as you think and listen to both sides before judging.
I would move on, as my father always said leopards don't change their spots.
Yes this and that goes for both of you.
To the boyfriend: You need a woman who will be okay with how you are (whatever way that may be). Probably someone who is just like you.
To the girlfriend: You need a guy with less female friends and you need to get rid of yours too if you want that in a guy.
People don't change when it comes to these things and you seem quite incompatible.
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