U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
Old 02-09-2012, 03:47 PM
 
674 posts, read 537,523 times
Reputation: 558

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by nighttrain55 View Post
I'm really curious to hear a women's opinion on this topic, but I welcome everybody's answer. Why do we treat weight differently? If you aren't attracted to women or men because they may be obese, overweight, chunky, or whatever, you are considered shallow. If you aren't attracted to somebody because of their skin color, height, the way they dress, or hair color, its just a simple case of having preferences. Why is weight seperated from everything else? Why is it wrong not be attracted to somebody for weight, but its ok for skin color, hair color, height or whatever else you want to throw in there.
If you haven't figured out that women are the masters of double-standards then you just need more life and relationship experience.

You can have your preference of weight, no one wants to date a fat chick, but fat chicks never look in the mirror and think about what they can do to make themselves a better catch. So just don't be so vocal about your preference, just have it in your mind, and go after women you are attracted to. In your mind you're excluding fat girls, but they don't have to know that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-09-2012, 03:47 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
822 posts, read 558,241 times
Reputation: 1245
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellNic View Post
Thanks for ignoring the rest of the post...reinforces my point about idiocy.
Why address something that completely misses the point? Explain how I'm idiotic. Because you disagree with being successful?

Simple question: are you fat?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-09-2012, 03:59 PM
 
674 posts, read 537,523 times
Reputation: 558
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amber1964 View Post
I think we treat weight differently because putting on a lot of weight is considered unattractive. Funny I have heard not one good reason as why gaining weight is unattractive since a lot of people in this country are obese.
For guys I think it's for social and sexual reasons. I think sex has been a lot better with someone who has a better body, a lighter weight female allows for more positions, more appealing for me to "go down" on than an overweight woman, and as for social reasons: no guy wants to be seen with a fat chick unless he's crazy in love with her to the point where he doesn't care what people think.....but that rarely happens.

Quote:
But here I am losing weight and still not getting dates. Even when I was thin still no luck.
Losing weight =/= more dates. There's many factors into why people choose to date someone. Weight is just one area. I personally can't stand certain types of women who are generally described as "very attractive". Their personalities don't really mesh well with mine and I find them to be boring.

Quote:
I have seen big women with men all the time.
So what?

Quote:
I think I am going to just give up on the dating world, or at least take a very long break.
Not a bad idea. I took time off of dating and decided to focus on improving myself. How do you improve yourself? I worked out to lose weight, joined a flag football team where I knew no one, took group guitar lessons, tried to spend more time with family....just did things that contributed to my happiness and did new things to broaden my horizons.

Quote:
Men can be very shallow even the ones in my age group get angry at their wives for gaining weight. Your wife is your wife a person, a human being. How does gaining weight change anything? She is still the same person she was before. I will never understand why men are so finicky about weight.
It's not always just about the appearance, but sexual attraction is something that is very hard to maintain over the longhaul of a marriage even if both members stayed the same weight over time. It just makes it harder if one gains weight and becomes less physically appealing. I agree women shouldn't be treated as objects. I also believe that "letting ones self go" in the sense of losing weight is a symbol for giving up and just taking the marriage for granted. If letting yourself go physically is something one doesn't prevent then it shows a lack of effort in maintaining a loving marriage and displays a sense of taking the other person for granted.

What if I were to just quit my job and be lazy in front of the TV all day? Could I use the justification "well we're married and you love me so you should just accept me for who I am" ?

Quote:
This is why I am glad I have never gotten a relationships, boyfriends, married etc and probably never will.
I've been on both sides of this, and that's a personal decision. You can easily live a long and happy life without ever being married. It's just one aspect to life, not a defining one. My aunt best described how I should approach marriage once: "Just live your life and do what will make you happy, keep the possibility open and even give a little effort to meet someone new or someone that interests you, and if it happens then consider it a bonus, if it doesn't then just keep living your life how you want to and be happy on your own."

Quote:
We as humans have become very judgmental for no purpose. Life is not a competition, why are you being so judgemental? I bet no one here has ever talked face to face to a bigger person and say the same crap as they do here because it is none of your business in the first place.
No one speaks in the same tone or words to people in person as they do when they write. Not just people here. You generalize way too much, you're just trying to displace blame to everyone else so that you don't have to look in the mirror and identify and address your own flaws.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-09-2012, 05:35 PM
 
18,868 posts, read 15,987,943 times
Reputation: 24933
I looked at a man the other day, who wanted to date me, and I was not attracted to him at all, because of his teeth. They were discolored, uneven, gross. I could not get past this issue, ever. He is a great guy. Maybe I am missing out on something really great, because of my "issues" with teeth. But that is the way it is...it does not matter, I could not kiss this guy for anything. So, why be so down on people who judge weight? It is an attraction issue. You can't "re-wire" your self.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-09-2012, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
9,191 posts, read 5,020,429 times
Reputation: 12906
Quote:
Originally Posted by wordlife View Post
See my second post.

There are certain things you can't change, like your parents, your skin color etc. but if you can get into shape. People make the journey out to be something hard, the easiest thing you can do is start.

The journey will be hard, very hard at some points. It all depends on the individuals demeanor. The hardest thing a person can do is have patience that's why people consider losing weight "hard".

I know all about the inner city, through living and working in it throughout my life. That's a different topic and i'm not here to change the discussion.

That's a very narrow, and inaccurate view. There can be a lot of extenuating circumstances for weight gain, medical conditions, medications and injuries.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-09-2012, 05:45 PM
 
2,934 posts, read 3,546,677 times
Reputation: 6183
Quote:
So, why be so down on people who judge weight?
I really believe the only people "looking down" on people who judge weight are fat themselves and are terribly defensive about it. There are a few chubby chasers, though I personally have never known any man who prefers a fat woman to a fit woman.

Being fat generally speaks volumes about a person: a common conclusion from many people would be that they are lazy, self-indulgent, undisiplined and unmotivated. And that is omitting the glaring health issues that encompass obesity.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-09-2012, 08:06 PM
 
Location: Louisiana
71 posts, read 65,585 times
Reputation: 70
This still does not explain why large women are seen as unattractive. I think the mainstream media plays a huge role as well. The media tells you what you should find attractive. Most men find what is displayed in the media as physically attractive meaning blonde hair, blue eyes, tiny waist, and implants. Why do men drool over plastic celebrities so much? So yes I believe media plays a strong role. Most men tend to think of woman as plastic objects instead of humans. Overtime I have begun to hate men. That biological explanation did not make any sense to me. The sex excuse is just another ridiculous excuse. How is an thin woman's vagina any different than a larger women's? I think men are incredibly shallow and glad the majority of them don't and never have found me attractive or I don't fit in with their so-called preferences, whatever those may be. I have hobbies and places that I want to see that I can enjoy living life by myself. Which is a huge turn around improvement since this dating thing really used to bother me now I do not bother with it anymore. I have a great career, a nice house, and a nice car but overall these alone are not enough since I am a larger woman and therefore seen as unattractive just because of ONE factor. That is ridiculous and why I do not even bother with men any longer. Being an introvert and living my life as to what makes me happy is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. This can appear selfish but I will stop being selfish when men start being less judgmental but that will is not likely to happen.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-09-2012, 08:24 PM
 
8,026 posts, read 5,063,197 times
Reputation: 6297
I'm just not attracted to big girls, not even a little. I'm not a shallow guy. I put a lot more emphasis on personality than looks when it comes to people. I have fat friends, but it would be downright cruel for me to date a fat woman. I wouldn't be attracted to her. She'd know it. It would suck for both of us.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-09-2012, 08:32 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
9,191 posts, read 5,020,429 times
Reputation: 12906
To me, no one should date anyone they are not attracted, whether for justifiable reasons or shallow. It's not fair to either party.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-09-2012, 09:06 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
822 posts, read 558,241 times
Reputation: 1245
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amber1964 View Post
This still does not explain why large women are seen as unattractive. I think the mainstream media plays a huge role as well. The media tells you what you should find attractive. Most men find what is displayed in the media as physically attractive meaning blonde hair, blue eyes, tiny waist, and implants. Why do men drool over plastic celebrities so much? So yes I believe media plays a strong role. Most men tend to think of woman as plastic objects instead of humans. Overtime I have begun to hate men. That biological explanation did not make any sense to me. The sex excuse is just another ridiculous excuse. How is an thin woman's vagina any different than a larger women's? I think men are incredibly shallow and glad the majority of them don't and never have found me attractive or I don't fit in with their so-called preferences, whatever those may be. I have hobbies and places that I want to see that I can enjoy living life by myself. Which is a huge turn around improvement since this dating thing really used to bother me now I do not bother with it anymore. I have a great career, a nice house, and a nice car but overall these alone are not enough since I am a larger woman and therefore seen as unattractive just because of ONE factor. That is ridiculous and why I do not even bother with men any longer. Being an introvert and living my life as to what makes me happy is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. This can appear selfish but I will stop being selfish when men start being less judgmental but that will is not likely to happen.
If you're so happy, why bother posting about how shallow men are?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top