Study: Online Dating Isn't Likely Route to Mr./Ms. Right

[Lilac110]

Originally Posted by Tinawina

I know right???? I mean I am usually pro-research, but in this case I'm like DUH. You can Google "online dating" and get that same advice from an old Redbook article or something. Heh. You're only supposed to use it as a tool to make initial contact with more people. Exchange a few emails, make a phonecall, then meet in person ASAP. It's suppose to supplement going out to bars, meeting friends or friends, etc. Yikes.

You might be surprised how many people do NOT think "duh" when it comes to this.

Check out some of the threads on here. There are people out there who have entire "relationships" built around texting. They can barely talk to each other in real time on the phone, never mind carry on a face-to-face conversation without running back to City-Data to ask what this sentence or that means.

Never underestimate anyone's social ineptitude. Technology and the Internet are wonderful things, but a lot of people have been crippled by them when it comes to forming relationships.

[Idon'tdateyou]

I did it on and off for years and outside of meeting some decent men nothing else happened. This was after screening hundreds of profiles through the years. The types of men who contacted me were shocking, horrifying and simply put amazing. My profile said I wasn't open to dating dads and I would get hundreds of responses from dads. I had several men my dad's age and older (including a 75 year old)contact me. I had guys who would sound okay but then start telling me they were in love with me (having never met them). I had guys get really clingy because I didn't get back to them right away and some got downright nasty. I would contact men who would delete me without responding (this bothered me). Guys my age would tell me I was too old for them (and they were seeking women in their 20s). I would get random messages from men telling me how picky I was (mostly from my no dad stance). I got a lot of messages asking me for sex. I would also get men from different religions and different cultures though I am not open to dating outside my religion (I would only be open to Christian and possibly Jewish men, not atheists, Muslims, or Hindus). I would get guys from other countries and far away contact me too. On the religious site I had several men contact me and they were chauvinist big time, including telling me I needed to be a good cook and cleaner. This site mostly had long distance relationships that were among the success stories.

I've given up on online dating for now. Maybe if this guy I like doesn't become more I might consider again but probably not. I know many who did online dating and most failed too.

[WantToHaveALife]

Originally Posted by Yzette

From the Wall Street Journal: Online Dating Isn’t the Likely Route to Mr. or Ms. Right: Study - Health Blog - WSJ

PDF of uncorrected proof of scientific paper: Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science

Take-home message: Online dating sites are nice for meeting new people, but there is no substitute for face-to-face communication. As one researcher put it, "use the online dating sight to get off-line." In other words, meet off-line as quickly as possible to see if there is that that intangible but necessary spark of chemistry.

well online dating is where women have the bigger advantage

[cloven]

Originally Posted by SummerFall

Please put "for SOME women" as you do not know me. I have tried the online dating thing, and actually DID meet someone who I ended up dating for a while...just not enough of spark there for me. But a good guy.

I will probably try it again. I wont do it because I need 'validation' on any darn thing. Sheesh i just want to explore other ways of meeting people; that's it. Period. I dont want to have an 'online' relationship. i just want to use it because it may enable me to meet more like minded people more quickly than I would any other way.

I would just use the internet as an introduction, and then meet in person. I thought that was a given. Didnt know we needed a study to confirm that.

Pretty sure I repped (rep'd ?) this post, because it succinctly states my reaction as well.
I bolded/bold-faced couple lines that most hit the nail on the head.

I cannot recall if it was in this thread, forum, or elsewhere-but I recently saw a sentence someone posted that said, (paraphrasing): "everyone is a stranger until you meet them".
Whether one has made online contact before meeting someone offline or not, they're still unknown. How is online contact, in advance, inherently more dangerous than meeting someone solely via offline (chance/random/"right place at right time") opportunity ?
Anybody could be anybody, both on or off line.

Edit: Found the thread in which I did rep this member's comment (whom I quoted in the above box). The other (very similar, hence my confusion) thread was:
"I dont understand how women could use online dating..."
which also likely contained the line from another poster about how we're all strangers, before meeting in person (but the thread's a dozen pages long by now, so I can't find where the exact quote was & who said it. Just trying to give credit where it's due.

[unicane]

Met my wife on Yahoo personals. When she made her profile she pulled a zip code out of thin air and lucky for me it was in my search range. Two months later I was on a plane to Manila, PI. Needless to say I dont agree with most of the assumptions put forth on this thread, including the OP

[Doll Eyes]

Originally Posted by unicane

Met my wife on Yahoo personals. When she made her profile she pulled a zip code out of thin air and lucky for me it was in my search range. Two months later I was on a plane to Manila, PI. Needless to say I dont agree with most of the assumptions put forth on this thread, including the OP

well get used to assumptions with that kind of scenario lurking about. just saying.