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I know how to change the oil or a tire, but I don't have to. I take it someplace where they have a lift. And once, my mechanic was a nice burley woman. I liked her much more than a lot of the male mechanics. She treated me with respect.
The best collision repair shop I've ever been in was run by a couple of obviously straight married women who dressed in heels and designer clothes. The head lady went out to my vehicle, checked it out like a pro, cranked it up, diagnosed whatever, then called a man in coveralls out of the garage and told him what he needed to do. Their waiting room was decorated better than a salon. There were trendy magazines for men and women. The head man dressed in a button down shirt and khakis. And, their prices were no higher than a typical grease pit. Gotta love those traditional women when they get a good idea.
Women bodybuilders, women in the military, a woman swimming the English Channel or from Cuba to Florida, a British woman spending 59 days skiing across the North Pole, when you read about feats like this, do you ever get any slack from your boyfriends or husbands? Yup! They read these articles and saved then for "rainy days"!
"Oh Sweetheart! It's freezing cold tonite and I found out the right front tire of my car is flat as a pancake and it's so cold in that garage, would you please be a sweetheart and go change that tire for me because I have to work tomorrow?"
And? He digs out this article about the woman who froze her butt off for 59 days skiing across the North Pole! And?
"Honey! After you get done changing that tire, would you change the oil on my truck?"
For those that would like to play the role of the helpless, stereotypical traditional Southern woman, do you hide these articles from your boyfriend/husband, just in case?
no, I don't have to hide these articles from my husband. My husband actually likes taking care of me. Often times I do things myself, and he will get disappointed because he wanted to help me. I guess the difference is that I don't expect it from him, but he gives it willingly. I think if I expected it, that would be the problem....
There are definitely things that he is better at; there are definitely things that I am better at ... but for the most part we share the responsibilities in life and around the house. It works well for us.
I really dislike stereotypes.
Different women have different abilities - as do different men.
My daughter put herself thru college doing tune-ups and changing the oil on the cars that belonged to the guys. She also worked at a Ford dealership as a mechanic, and in the summer breaks worked for her college, retiling floors and bathrooms, hanging and resurfacing doors, repairing window sashes, etc. Now she works as an assistant pathologist in a bio lab - and she and her fiancee are redoing their old house with new floors, trim, lighting, wiring, and new interiors.
My DH was a mechanic, firefighter, and paramedic. I was a farmer (used and worked on tractors and harvesters), also a firefighter and an EMT. We both can cook like nobody's business, and he can hand-sew better than I He insists on changing the oil and doing tune-ups on my pickup because he says I take too long.
I have known lots of women and now work at a school with teens who can rope a 500-lb calf, leap off of their horse, and throw the calf to the ground so that it can be branded or get its meds. They can barrel-race and compete in rodeos - including bull-riding - simply because they have done it since they were kids. I am helping one young lady right now get some extra education in LE; she will sign up for the Marines next year and is already a dead shot.
"Girly" women might be more attractive to weaker men who need someone to make them feel strong - and I've known a lot of girls who play into that male need, just to make their lives easier. But real women can do anything they put their minds to - and they don't care if they 'find a man' to do it for them. They are more interested in finding men who do it with them; men who have the same goals, hopes, and dreams as they do, and the same drives to make it happen.
no, I don't have to hide these articles from my husband. My husband actually likes taking care of me. Often times I do things myself, and he will get disappointed because he wanted to help me. I guess the difference is that I don't expect it from him, but he gives it willingly. I think if I expected it, that would be the problem....
There are definitely things that he is better at; there are definitely things that I am better at ... but for the most part we share the responsibilities in life and around the house. It works well for us.
This sounds like our relationship as well. My husband does some of the rougher or dirtier things not because he doesn't think I can but because that's part of how he expresses his love for me. He's not big on whispering sweet nothings or public displays of affection. But give him a chance to make my life easier and he's all over it. It took a while to get used to, we were in our 30s when we met and I was used to doing everything for myself.
Actually the more women take on *traditional male* roles, the better I feel. It's like a weight has been lifted off my back.
I don't mind mowing the lawn or cleaning out the gutters, dear, but don't complain when I ask you to change the sheets on the bed or mop the kitchen floor.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,029,399 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by branDcalf
There is biological femininity vs. cultural femininity.
Biologically women will do what needs to be done. Or, what they want to do. Since the average female lacks the physical strength of the average male, she may have to adapt the method.
Cultural femininity is a choice. I'm picturing high heels and not knowing where the oil pan is on their car. But that is an extreme.
My friends and I can do what you may think of as non-traditional activities, and choose what each wants from the culturally feminine menu. We can all change the oil in our vehicles and heavy machinery, but save our high heels for trips with hubby or friends out of town.
BTW - I think women have the better deal in the US. Roles seem more flexible for us.
People do confuse the two. Nothing innate about wearing a dress, high heels, wearing long hair, painting your nails, being afraid of creepy crawlies, getting manicures.
ummmm, I'm a female.
Sometimes he takes out the trash. Sometimes I take out the trash.
No one is delegated to taking it out, we each do it as we notice it needs to be done.
Exactly! I'd say that my husband and I have a fairly traditional marriage in some ways but in others we're non traditional. In any event, I do most of the "dirty" jobs in the house. I clean the fridge, catbox, toilets, diaper pails, etc. He does the cooking because he's better at it and he genuinely likes it We both take out the trash though.
I don't get the point of this thread anyway. No, I don't hide articles that show females can do things just like I don't show him articles pointing out the things that other males do that he doesn't do. It's not relevant. He loves me for who I am and I love him for who he is. Why would I compare him to strangers????
All my life I admired real woman - independant and capable . We used to call them "tom boys"...My first true love was a very capable and vigorous female - She was a privledge girl who owned a few horses - when she would come flying around the track at full speed - with her long hair streaming - and this crazed look on her face...one that was a total love of life and excietment - I was enthrawled with her ability...She was so sexy - the fact that she was fearless.....why would a man not love such a woman?
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