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I think there are some moving parts here. I would never marry someone who required that.
If you are a man who fathers a child outside of wedlock, then you were irresponsible to begin with, There are consequences. Maybe it was yours, maybe not.
If you father a child within a marriage, you better assume it's yours and raise it as such.
In the end, it's about responsibility.
Children born within or without need to be cared for by those responsible. If you are already married and discover the child is not biologically yours, I would say you are still that child's "dad."
Hmmm... How is the nonfather required to be responsible but not the real father?
So, using this logic, are you fine with giving both the mother and the biological father as pass? It seems that what you're advocating.
It's not about ego, it's about avoiding any possibility of devastating pain. Men who hear stories of guys being tricked for all of these years relate to the devastation and wasted emotions.
But do you not see that this could create "devastating pain" on the part of the woman who's done nothing wrong, who has always been faithful, and is faced with a partner who is implying that she is promiscuous and untrustworthy?
I wouldn't go for a prenup either ( I would never marry a man who was already thinking about our relationship failing and was so bothered about his money that he was willing to basically assume a default position of "if/when...") , and I don't understand women who need a marriage certificate to feel fulfilled.
Holy crap you're no fun. Here in the states, 40-50 percent of marriages end in sticky, messy, difficult divorces. Why can't one (or both, actually) parties protect themselves? Why would drawing up a prenup be an assumption of anything
But do you not see that this could create "devastating pain" on the part of the woman who's done nothing wrong, who has always been faithful, and is faced with a partner who is implying that she is promiscuous and untrustworthy?
Consider the DNA test a scientific way of showing this to a man. Why SHOULDN'T a woman opt for this in this case. It's irrefutable proof of fidelity (at least where it counted).
Let's say a man wants to test all of his children for paternity at birth. Also, let's say he informs you of this in the beginning, during your dating or friendship stage of the relationship. He does this a general policy, a piece of mind sort of thing. He's heard and read the stories of men raising other kids for years without knowing and just wants to ensure that never happens to him since he plans to be a very emotionally invested father. It has nothing to do with an assumption that any specific woman will cheat on him. He sees it as no different than a woman wanting a marriage license for piece of mind in a long term relationship.
Would you agree with his plans? Why or why not?
No, women won't agree to your plan cuz then they can't cuckold you without getting
caught. Women are programmed by evolution to find the best genes and the best provider, generally that means two different guys.
Example, women are attracted to different men depending on their ovulation cycle and a womans body becomes immune to the semen of a long term partner so she can introduce a competing males babybatter and branch off a new dna strand. Women also dress differenty and go to social gatherings more frequently when ovulating. So, this isn't some evil plot they come up with, it just happens
Let's say a man wants to test all of his children for paternity at birth. Also, let's say he informs you of this in the beginning, during your dating or friendship stage of the relationship. He does this a general policy, a piece of mind sort of thing. He's heard and read the stories of men raising other kids for years without knowing and just wants to ensure that never happens to him since he plans to be a very emotionally invested father. It has nothing to do with an assumption that any specific woman will cheat on him. He sees it as no different than a woman wanting a marriage license for piece of mind in a long term relationship.
Would you agree with his plans? Why or why not?
What a truly screwed up world some of you posters seem to live in
But do you not see that this could create "devastating pain" on the part of the woman who's done nothing wrong, who has always been faithful, and is faced with a partner who is implying that she is promiscuous and untrustworthy?
Notice in the OP I said this would be disclosed UPFRONT, during the dating or friendship stage. I am against springing a paternity request on a woman while she's in the hospital giving birth.
How can she be "devastated" if it was disclosed long before she became pregnant?
Notice in the OP I said this would be disclosed UPFRONT, during the dating or friendship stage. I am against springing a paternity request on a woman while she's in the hospital giving birth.
How can she be "devastated" if it was disclosed long before she became pregnant?
Then this guy would be weeding himself out, because I wouldn't start a relationship with someone who was already predisposed to not trust me and think me capable of deceit. If you can't see how that would be insulting, then I don't know what to say.
This "women only" poll is already skewed, because two of the posters who voted "Yes" are men.
What a truly screwed up world some of you posters seem to live in
In my world, this would be a HUGE waste of money.
Good morning,
We live in the same world you live in.
I'm sure you've read the same stories we do about men who had no reason to doubt their child was theirs and put a lot of love and emotions into them for years before discovering they were fooled. That has to be devastating!
I'm sure you've seen the same court decisions where men were required to support children that aren't theirs while the biological father gets a pass.
It's not a waste of money for those who choose to pay for it out of pocket. I'm not advocating for mandatory paternity tests. I want men to be upfront with women about their intentions early in the dating / friendship process, and then pay for it out of pocket.
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