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Marriage isn't a guarantee of in this aspect. Let's just say it isn't totally out of the question to be married and feel isolated and alone.
And who says a spouse is the only person you care about later in life? My mother cares about me and all of her siblings. And she hasn't been in a LTR in years.
But Jackie has already said she no contact with anyone in her family. Nor does she have any friends or acquaintances.
This is asking for a long and very miserable older ageism my h.o.
Marriage is a purely economical institution. Couples get tax benefits just for being married, among other things.
Other than that then I don't know what. It's not like you get a trophy or anything for being married.
It's kinda like a way to "mark" your territory.
Like peeing on a blade of grass.
after being with the same person 10 years its hardly a horrible choice. we never married "to get married" we married as a celebration for all of our families to enjoy and gain a few financial benefits.
if you decide to shack up with a hot tempered no it all brat of a person because sometimes they are nice and the sex is good too and suddenly its 2 years later and "OH GEE OH GOSH! i just don't feel the same way anymore!" and that person proceeds to drag your sorry ass into court and make you life a living hell, im sorry to say you have only YOURSELF to blame
the only point to marriage is what YOU make of it.
after being with the same person 10 years its hardly a horrible choice. we never married "to get married" we married as a celebration for all of our families to enjoy and gain a few financial benefits.
if you decide to shack up with a hot tempered no it all brat of a person because sometimes they are nice and the sex is good too and suddenly its 2 years later and "OH GEE OH GOSH! i just don't feel the same way anymore!" and that person proceeds to drag your sorry ass into court and make you life a living hell, im sorry to say you have only YOURSELF to blame
the only point to marriage is what YOU make of it.
Other than you and your spouse, who exactly is supposed to be enjoying your marriage?
everyone in our immediate and extended family. it allowed us to have everyone spread across the world in one place again finally.
our marriage isn't about the piece of paper or "being married" we would be together regardless. there wasn't and still isn't any drawbacks for us, only benefits where gained through it. if one day we grow apart and our lives take us in a different direction, so be it...that's life. we had a ball being together, there will be no bitterness or feeling cheated out of anything.
The point of marriage is bs. Only marriage I ever understood and supported was back when it was to combine wealth between families and pass it down through generations. THAT makes sense to me, as for this other "Love" bs and load of crap is beyond me.
Why do you need a piece of paper or ring to show you love someone? Do I need to get a ring pop for a baby to show I love them? Do I need to get a gift for my best friend to symbolize our friendship?
Exactly. Marriage is just another garbage tradition promoted by the full-of-sh** church that has its hold on this country. Cohabitation is the way to go!
I find it funny people mention "Oh, I've been married 10 years and its great!" Guess what b*tches, unless you can see the future, don't be so sure it won't end. I read an article where a 99 yr old divorced his 97 yr old wife after he found out about her affair DECADES ago after about 70 yrs of marriage.
Sorry ladies, I know I'm probably bursting your bubbles, but a lot of guys in TODAYS (keyword) society don't want to get married and only do it out of respect for you, not because its wanted. Don't believe me? Ask your husbands (who will most likely lie to you) "If you honestly had the choice to cohabitate and not marry and keep everything the way it is now but never have proposed, would you?" And the true answer will be in his head.
But guys there's hope! The tides are changing, women are paying alimoney to men now more than ever and it's rising, watch, they're gonna get the whole "I want to be married one day and live the fantasy!" Bs out their heads.
Gays don't know how good they have it. You are denied the right to marriage...I WISH I HAD THAT, I could date a girl and actually have a reason to why I would never propose no matter how long we dated.
Kurt russel? With his SO for almost 30 years and not married.
Don Cheadle? With his SO with a child for almost 20
2 examples of people who have made it longer than most of you I-want-the-show-and-marriage-fantasy nonsense.
To answer your question OP, there is no point nor need for marriage in today's society. Do it for the tax benefits and things like that but lleave love out of it. And remember ladies and gents, if you make more money than your SO, SIGN THAT PRE-NUP. Ladies this goes for you too if you make more than your husband, don't let the hard work be taken away in a (damn near inevitable) divorce. If husband or wife whines and complain, tell them "you wanted to get married? Well guess what b*tch marriage isn't always about what you want, get ready for the ride".
Remember this amazing quote:
"Why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free?"
No, this is not only for the men, ladies remember that too for your male SO's.
I find it funny people mention "Oh, I've been married 10 years and its great!" Guess what b*tches, unless you can see the future, don't be so sure it won't end. I read an article where a 99 yr old divorced his 97 yr old wife after he found out about her affair DECADES ago after about 70 yrs of marriage.
you're missing the point completely.
its nothing to do about if/how/when it ends. why are you so hung up on "the end" before you even get started?
people grow in all aspects of life, that IS what living is at its core. it's your growth and development as an individual through personal experience. if one day ive grown apart from the persons i am with to a degree it becomes apparent they are better off following a different way, so be it...it doesn't mean i still cant love this person and care for them, and vice versa, it simply means they have a new direction in life that i do not have as much meaning to or investment in. i wish them the best of luck and hope they find everything they could possibly want out of life.
it may seem impossible when younger, but every "break up" doesn't have to be the end of the world or full of negatives with no redeeming value attached
everything in life is what you make of it, and you get out of it exactly what you put in...if you are already worried about how its going to end and all the valuable things you worked hard for being taken by those greedy bitter significant others, it may be time to evaluate who you are becoming romantically involved with or who you are as a person.
Last edited by rego00123; 08-17-2012 at 01:43 AM..
I know you young'uns think there is no difference between being married and living together and I thought the same when I was your age, and then there are those who are concerned with losing assets in a divorce who have no business being married in the first place (I wouldn't want to live with them either). That's not to say you can't be in love and unmarried and be happy.
It's not only the emotional committment to work as a team that marriage conveys, as said so aptly by LovesMountains the hope of a relationship that doesn't always necessitate a sense of unease with forethought to self-protection is an important one in maintaning a sound marriage as opposed to living together. Marriage should be something you can finally relax into knowing the other person always has your back and that you will work together for the good of both of you. It implies that you don't have to worry about your partner running off the next second when you least expect it, possibly for someone that would marry them and promise them a future.
If you feel you are in this state already without marriage you will find yourself astonished when you're in the hospital and not allowed to visit your significant other or make any decisions as to their welfare. Or when their relative comes over and claims new ownership of something you thought was 'yours together' or even the whole household if your partner should die. You have no legal rights. Sure you can write up all sorts of individual documents to deal with the circumstances but what does that say really? "We're roommates and we want the same protections as if we were married". So why not get married, get recognized as a couple and get the whole package: emotional, financial, goals oriented, equality of needs, stability?
I know you young'uns think there is no difference between being married and living together and I thought the same when I was your age, and then there are those who are concerned with losing assets in a divorce who have no business being married in the first place (I wouldn't want to live with them either). That's not to say you can't be in love and unmarried and be happy.
It's not only the emotional committment to work as a team that marriage conveys, as said so aptly by LovesMountains the hope of a relationship that doesn't always necessitate a sense of unease with forethought to self-protection is an important one in maintaning a sound marriage as opposed to living together. Marriage should be something you can finally relax into knowing the other person always has your back and that you will work together for the good of both of you. It implies that you don't have to worry about your partner running off the next second when you least expect it, possibly for someone that would marry them and promise them a future.
If you feel you are in this state already without marriage you will find yourself astonished when you're in the hospital and not allowed to visit your significant other or make any decisions as to their welfare. Or when their relative comes over and claims new ownership of something you thought was 'yours together' or even the whole household if your partner should die. You have no legal rights. Sure you can write up all sorts of individual documents to deal with the circumstances but what does that say really? "We're roommates and we want the same protections as if we were married". So why not get married, get recognized as a couple and get the whole package: emotional, financial, goals oriented, equality of needs, stability?
It's called a living will and it can address everything. I can still have my cake and eat it too. By giving my partner rights to my life (where I see fit) yet I can't be burned by the divorce stage. Marriage pretty much hands the keys of your life to your partner. Many people out there as proof by the divorce rate can't drive.
"Marriage should be something you can finally relax into knowing the other person always has your back and that you will work together for the good of both of you. It implies that you don't have to worry about your partner running off the next second when you least expect it, possibly for someone that would marry them and promise them a future."
Cohabiting couples can do the same thing. Marriage isn't necessary by any means and is in fact obsolete in my life. Also, a married partner can run unexpectedly as well. You felt the need to be married and that's fine and the majority of people do but what I don't like is the shall we say "holier than thou" attitude of married couples treating cohabiting couples like they know nothing about commitment. Tradition is just a waste of time. On a personal level, I wouldn't be so against the idea of marriage for me if it was more equal but marriage is uneven that it was designed to be biased towards the female. It shouldn't be due to the advancement of women in society but the belief is there. As a result, you can have an equal partnership but the male may get the short end of the stick and by all that is holy, the man better hope the marriage lasts for life.
Last edited by Yellow Jacket; 08-17-2012 at 03:47 AM..
I find it funny people mention "Oh, I've been married 10 years and its great!" Guess what b*tches, unless you can see the future, don't be so sure it won't end. I read an article where a 99 yr old divorced his 97 yr old wife after he found out about her affair DECADES ago after about 70 yrs of marriage.
You sound like a moronic two year old mimicking a TV show. Hopefully, you don't take yourself too seriously. Once you learn the first thing about commitment, be it via advanced education, career (s), relationships, parenting, or anything in life you cultivate you will learn that the standards set by others can only be applied to others. Success does not need to be indefinite or infinite. That can be marriage, career, whatever for 10-50-100 years. From where I sit, people's worldview and approach to life can be so warped and f*cked up. It's really no wonder folk can't manage their way through much in life.
Last edited by Braunwyn; 08-17-2012 at 05:07 AM..
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in this aspect. Let's just say it isn't totally out of the question to be married and feel isolated and alone.