Should single women date "Suggar Daddies" until they find Mr. Right? (marriages, older)

[Kim46741974]

Conventional thought says it's trashy to date a "sugar daddy/mama" but I've always found there to be a double standard here. Many people with enough money to be a sugar daddy/mama have their own set of shallow criteria they employ and nobody ever calls them on it. How many rich people date normal, nice people? They look for the best their money can get them and are clearly not concerned first and foremost with the quality of character they get; instead they look for hotties so why can the hottie not look for something as well? Apparently a rich old man can look for a model but if she's in it for the money that's baaaaaaad. Why? He's shallow too. I'd say if she's clear about what's going on then more power to her.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by Kim46741974

Conventional thought says it's trashy to date a "sugar daddy/mama" but I've always found there to be a double standard here. Many people with enough money to be a sugar daddy/mama have their own set of shallow criteria they employ and nobody ever calls them on it. How many rich people date normal, nice people? They look for the best their money can get them and are clearly not concerned first and foremost with the quality of character they get; instead they look for hotties so why can the hottie not look for something as well? Apparently a rich old man can look for a model but if she's in it for the money that's baaaaaaad. Why? He's shallow too. I'd say if she's clear about what's going on then more power to her.

Who is saying he's not? He's a John.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

It's sad for them. They have to live it (deservingly so, no doubt).

Well, water does seek it's own level.

Just goads me though when people with so little understanding or experience on a subject like marriage speak of it like what they have to say actually means anything.

[Kim46741974]

Braunwyn, I agree with you. I just feel like the johns are not called on it like the golddiggers are.

[Bosco55David]

Originally Posted by Kim46741974

Braunwyn, I agree with you. I just feel like the johns are not called on it like the golddiggers are.

That's probably because the realization that they are only getting laid (if that) because they have money is more punishment than anything we could throw at them.

[Dewdrop93]

Originally Posted by DRGirl

OK, let me explain this out and tell you how this thread came about. A few days ago I met up with a friend. I am 28, single for 2 years (divorced), she's 27 single for almost three (never married). We are both educated, have jobs, attractive, take care of ourselves (work out), and are very decent people. A friend of hers came along, she's 25, did not finish college and seems to be enjoying life pretty good.

We were talking about many things and eventually got down to men. My friend's friend said to us that she got tired of dating losers, getting her heart broken, and having a hard time finding Mr. Right so she decided to "invest her time" dating a suggar daddy until Mr. Right comes into her life. She said that the men she was meeting were just interested in getting laid and since she also has her needs, why not get something for it. She figured that seems she was getting frustrated all the time while dating, she might as well date and get something from it in the form of travel, clothes, fine dining, jewerly, and the likes.

My friend and I looked at each other and laughed. We shared with her our less than impressive latest dating adventures and how difficult we were finding to meet a good man. The woman's answer to us was "why don't the two of you date a suggar daddy until you find your Mr. Right? That way you won't be alone and will get to enjoy yourselves by being spoiled."

I must admit that the thought of being spoiled sounds very enticing but at the same time I can't sleep with a man I am not attracted to, and I have yet to learn dettachement from sex. Once I sleep with a man I can't date another one during that time. Darn oxytocin Aren't all suggar daddies old men too? Like my dad's age? I am not sure if this is still in
my mind because I don't seem to meet a decent man, and VD is around the corner.

Has anybody here ever dated a suggar daddy/mamma? If so, how did you get into it? Pros/cons?

Honestly - my feelings can be summed up with one word. "Ew!" I don't know - it just grosses me out.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by Kim46741974

Braunwyn, I agree with you. I just feel like the johns are not called on it like the golddiggers are.

True. I believe expectations for women are higher, so they usually get more flack.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

Some people only view the dynamic between men and women as a sex exchange. The kind of relationship that holds as much depth as two breeding dogs. The 24/7 commitment to a spouse, his/her family, his/her life dreams, his/her health, his/her emotional and spiritual development is a completely foreign concept.

So? Who cares?

[415_s2k]

Originally Posted by DRGirl

OK, let me explain this out and tell you how this thread came about. A few days ago I met up with a friend. I am 28, single for 2 years (divorced), she's 27 single for almost three (never married). We are both educated, have jobs, attractive, take care of ourselves (work out), and are very decent people. A friend of hers came along, she's 25, did not finish college and seems to be enjoying life pretty good.

We were talking about many things and eventually got down to men. My friend's friend said to us that she got tired of dating losers, getting her heart broken, and having a hard time finding Mr. Right so she decided to "invest her time" dating a suggar daddy until Mr. Right comes into her life. She said that the men she was meeting were just interested in getting laid and since she also has her needs, why not get something for it. She figured that seems she was getting frustrated all the time while dating, she might as well date and get something from it in the form of travel, clothes, fine dining, jewerly, and the likes.

My friend and I looked at each other and laughed. We shared with her our less than impressive latest dating adventures and how difficult we were finding to meet a good man. The woman's answer to us was "why don't the two of you date a suggar daddy until you find your Mr. Right? That way you won't be alone and will get to enjoy yourselves by being spoiled."

I must admit that the thought of being spoiled sounds very enticing but at the same time I can't sleep with a man I am not attracted to, and I have yet to learn dettachement from sex. Once I sleep with a man I can't date another one during that time. Darn oxytocin Aren't all suggar daddies old men too? Like my dad's age? I am not sure if this is still in
my mind because I don't seem to meet a decent man, and VD is around the corner.

Has anybody here ever dated a suggar daddy/mamma? If so, how did you get into it? Pros/cons?

People can do whatever they want with their lives, it doesn't bother me one way or the other, really... and hell, I live in Beverly Hills, so

a) I see it all the time; it can be argued that a large percentage of the relationships here are similar arrangements, and
b) I often find myself in situations where I have to have my guard up about women viewing me as a potential sugar daddy

I, personally, find the whole notion of such an arrangement less than palatable. If my "relationship" is primarily contingent on taking her out to progressively more expensive restaurants and bars, buying her progressively more expensive clothes and jewelry, inviting her along on trips, etc etc etc as opposed to actually enjoying one anothers' presence, then I will most likely just cut it there.

Fortunately for me, I don't really run in any BH social circles and have no interest in the general "lifestyle" here... I just like the location. I meet more girls at dive bars, punk/hardcore/rock shows, and through friends than I do hanging outside of Bijan

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

So? Who cares?

Obviously the people who don't want a deeply satisfying and successful marriage