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Unread 02-15-2012, 10:23 AM
 
4,783 posts, read 3,856,676 times
Reputation: 3742
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raging-Hetero View Post
That's absolutely unnecessary. Why, you ask? Well, because some women are entirely comfortable with the idea.

Here's a pretty good example.
You're playing stupid and that's fine.

I'm sure Hobokenkitchen knows what I'm talking about.

Men like you are pathetic and probably the reason why some women pay for their own meals on dates.
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Unread 02-15-2012, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
1,215 posts, read 1,134,592 times
Reputation: 1911
Quote:
Originally Posted by ben242000 View Post
I would never make a woman pay on the first date. Men, we need to have some standards here!
Amen. I would never date a guy again who agreed/suggested dutch at all, ever. I'm old fashioned that way.
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Unread 02-15-2012, 10:25 AM
Status: "Chunk!" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Katonah, NY
14,691 posts, read 6,569,714 times
Reputation: 14399
Quote:
Originally Posted by misiu007 View Post
Obviously there is no right or wrong in this situation. People are brought up differently and live by different rules. Women have fought hard and long for equality, and since today most have their own money, careers and bank accounts, there is nothing wrong with paying for your own meal. Get with the time ladies, this isnt 1950's. I can tell you one thing I am absolutely certain of. If you asked our entire US population of where they stand on this issue, and repeated the same survey every 5 or 10 years, the amount of people who believe a man is always to pay, would decrease substantialy, each and every time. You can tell this by contrast of rural to urban america attitudes towards paying for dates. Women enjoy sex just as much as men, and many sources claim they enjoy it even more. Being spoiled by a sugar daddy, who always pays your way is nothing but prostitution, plain and simple. If you earn an income, pay your own way.
The thing is - many men still insist on paying for dates. And I have a feeling that most of the married men and men in relationships paid for the first date or so with their wives/girlfriends. And they probably didn't complain about it either. And I have a feeling that the wives/girlfriends of said men were not the equivalent of prostitutes or gold diggers but were simply good women enjoying themselves on a date and getting to know someone. Very few women have sugar daddies. It seems the men on here that don't like to pay for dates like to toss around words like "prostitutes" and "gold diggers." It also seems that the men who do this are single. I think that people would be more successful in the love world if they didn't accuse every woman who doesn't pay for a date of being a hooker. I don't think that a man who pays for a date is a "john." And most people don't have sex on the first date anyway.
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Unread 02-15-2012, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Petticoat Junction
931 posts, read 635,480 times
Reputation: 1427
If you knew he was a cop and had an ex/kids, sounds like YOU broke the rules. That's an extremely limiting set of rules, by the way.

Whoever invited should pay, I think. That doesn't mean it has to be an expensive place, though...I can see having the first 'meet' at a coffee shop or something to see if there's any chemistry.
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Unread 02-15-2012, 11:36 AM
 
4,907 posts, read 2,118,837 times
Reputation: 5135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
The thing is - many men still insist on paying for dates. And I have a feeling that most of the married men and men in relationships paid for the first date or so with their wives/girlfriends. And they probably didn't complain about it either. And I have a feeling that the wives/girlfriends of said men were not the equivalent of prostitutes or gold diggers but were simply good women enjoying themselves on a date and getting to know someone. Very few women have sugar daddies. It seems the men on here that don't like to pay for dates like to toss around words like "prostitutes" and "gold diggers." It also seems that the men who do this are single. I think that people would be more successful in the love world if they didn't accuse every woman who doesn't pay for a date of being a hooker. I don't think that a man who pays for a date is a "john." And most people don't have sex on the first date anyway.
So, since both men and women enjoy sex....what is the guy buying? What is the reason he is pampering a princess, taking her to expansive restaurants and showering her with gifts? I realize that many guys take it for what it is, and have no problem paying for dates (myself included), but Ill tell you that vast majority of guys also appreciate the offer at some point, which is mostly turned down. ITS AN OLD FASHIONED AND TRADITIONAL WAY OF THINKING. BACKWARDS COMES TO MIND. WELCOME TO 2012.
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Unread 02-15-2012, 11:48 AM
Status: "Chunk!" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Katonah, NY
14,691 posts, read 6,569,714 times
Reputation: 14399
Quote:
Originally Posted by misiu007 View Post
So, since both men and women enjoy sex....what is the guy buying? What is the reason he is pampering a princess, taking her to expansive restaurants and showering her with gifts? I realize that many guys take it for what it is, and have no problem paying for dates (myself included), but Ill tell you that vast majority of guys also appreciate the offer at some point, which is mostly turned down. ITS AN OLD FASHIONED AND TRADITIONAL WAY OF THINKING. BACKWARDS COMES TO MIND. WELCOME TO 2012.
Just because a guy pays for the first date or even the first few dates doesn't mean his is pampering her like a princess, taking her to expensive restaurants and showering her with gifts. If I'm not mistaken - this thread is about the first date - correct? I'm not sure why you are bringing up all this other stuff. Most men I know don't do those types of things anyway - certainly not any of the guys I've dated! I always offer to pay - always have - no matter who I'm with. And I dated great guys when I dated - but I was never treated like a princess. I never wanted to be nor do I think I would have felt comfortable with it. A relationship, to me, is not about how many gifts a guy can buy me - it's about how compatible we are with each other. Do we have the same sense of humor? Do we view life the same way? Are we both homebodies? I never wanted a guy who was going to shower me with expensive gifts. I want someone to share life's journey with me - not worship me.

However, a guy picking up the tab on a first date even though I offer to pay is a good way to start things off in my book. Like I said - I don't see anything wrong with going dutch - but I do like a man who is a gentleman. I married one and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Unread 02-15-2012, 11:51 AM
 
1,288 posts, read 668,155 times
Reputation: 1023
Quote:
Originally Posted by oalquimista View Post
I meant those going on MULTIPLE dates per week/month. Maybe you're a McDonald's guy though
I wouldn't empathise with a man who's havin trouble payin my way if he's going on multiple dates per week with anyone but me. If he can't see that I'm the *only* one that he should be out on the town with, then he deserves to go broke paying for all those *other* women's meals/drinks/tickets/whatever!
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Unread 02-15-2012, 12:00 PM
 
1,288 posts, read 668,155 times
Reputation: 1023
Quote:
Originally Posted by oalquimista View Post
I went on a date with a man I met on match. He talked the whole time, which I was going to chalk up to nerves, he's a federal officer, divorced with kids. I have three rules when I date, no kids, no cops and no ex wives. Well, needless to say, he broke all the rules. However, when emailing back and forth we seemed to click, and I was really open to the idea. Also, he said several times what good money he makes.

Dinner was nice, conversation flowed just fine... when the waitress came to ask whether or not everything was on one bill, he looks at me? I then told her politely, it would be two checks. The waitress could tell we were on a first date, and she kept it on one piece of paper, but two different totals. She also set it right in front of him. He never once offered. I put out my 20.00 for the meal, and left a very nice tip too. He left 1.00 for a tip.
This has never happened to me before, although once in relationships I turn into the sugar Mama.

Is this a deal breaker? Is this just a sign of what's to come? I wouldn't have made him pay, but it's the OFFER that would have been nice...
I think the waitress put you on the spot. Not what I'd call good service. (so I wouldn't feel bad about her not getting much tip money) I've never had any server ask if it would be separate tabs - the diners always seem to have to let the server know that ahead of time if that's the case - at least where I live.

You were the one who told her it'd be 2 separate bills, so why are you bothered that he didn't pay for you? Were you just bluffing and are now miffed that he called your bluff by going halfsies (as per your suggestion)? You can't have it both ways.

That doesn't entirely let your date off the hook, though. If it was me put into that situation by that clueless waitress and then my date were to be a jerk enough to look at me pointedly, leaving me to have to reply...well, I would've looked back at him rather pointedly and then said to the waitress, "No, it's all on him!"
And considering how he'd been tackily bragging about his money beforehand, I wouldn't feel too guilty about it either.
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Unread 02-15-2012, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Where Dance Music comes first
1,841 posts, read 1,171,424 times
Reputation: 2119
Quote:
Originally Posted by marilyn220 View Post
You're playing stupid and that's fine.

I'm sure Hobokenkitchen knows what I'm talking about.

Men like you are pathetic and probably the reason why some women pay for their own meals on dates.
Why bother attacking me, when you can elaborate on what you meant? I have no doubt that, at the end, YOU and I will eventually come to the conclusion that you meant exactly what you posted.
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Unread 02-15-2012, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,026 posts, read 12,625,984 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trackwatch View Post
10 trips to a restaurant in a week? $30 in tips TOTAL?
I eat out a lot. A random grilled chicken plate is like 9 bucks and I'm expected to tip the imbecile a couple bucks, and by the 8th or 9th time, I'm like... why do you even deserve it?

It's natural human tendency. All he does is go in and carry food out. If they called my name like in Panera, I'll bloody well bring the plate out myself.
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